(no subject)
god damn you, Photographs.
i've had a very irregular childhood.
or maybe it's pretty regular nowadays?
but yeah. stupid Nickleback is stuck in my head.
who the hell was nervous duing their first kiss? who actually goes back through pictures? who cares about a stupid song about someone else's teen years? thanks for rubbing it in our faces that you basically were a bunch of shitheads in high school, dropped/got kicked out, and are now multi-millionaires. great :) and if that part of the song isn't true...well fuck, thanks for writing an "anthem" that i can't get the fuck away from. thank you so very fucking much.
---
Follow me, I'll lead the way; your fears will soon overtake
Hide your infinite tears inside, it seeks your smallest break
Screaming as if nothing helps, you press on to survive
Playing out the fantasies of a force that keeps you alive
He'll have you down on your knees
You play his fatal game
He'll satisfy your every need
You'll never be the same
Take my hand, I'll show you how;
You've just one life to live
The road you're on goes straight to hell;
Your life is yours to give
His fantasies of all of you are much too great to see
This world you're living is so unreal, perfected just for me
He'll have you down on your knees
You play his fatal game
He'll satisfy your every need
You'll never be the same
yeah, basically. he does make me happy and staisfies some of my needs...but he created alot of those needs/ i allowed myself to recognize those needs. i do play his game. he pulls or drags me along at his pace. i'm not the same. i'm far from being the same. he's helped me with alot of stuff, but at the same time... alot of the things i've had to deal with stem from my hanging out with him. and granted, alot of them could be resolved if i just told my parents the truth, that i'm going to hang out with him (but then my mother gets all....mother-y, and either acts like she wants me to fuck him, or like I'm going to be raped after doing tons of drugs and flirting promiscuously.) So often, everything does seeem unreal. when things are going so great and amazing for me... and then of course it shatters. but hey.
the first verse? yeah. 100% me. screaming and crying won't help. but when he always finds the right spots to hit, i give in anymore and semi-let my anger and frusteration out. He's always leading me in circles, and i'm still so fucking scared of him. not of him. but, that he'll not want to be my friend anymore? or that he's just been teasing me all this time, and he really doesn't give a rat's tail about me? Whatever. You know, I try to keep going, but every time i just push through, i lose sleep and get stressed out, etc. and then my will power disappears because, like now, i haven't slept well, truly, in probably almost a month. and so i'm so fucking exhausted. and i just say the first thing out of my mouth, and i don't try to hide much, because, honestly, it's too much work, and i value his opinions so much. So how do i survive? i play out fantasies. fantasies that we'll end up dating. fantasies that we're perfect for each other. fantasies that we're each both who we want the other to be (or atleast who i want him and i to be). fantasies that he'll read this, and learn probably nothing new, but that'll he atleast take the time to read it. fantasies that i'm not just kidding myself. fantasies that ranting like this does help, and that i don't feel like a fucking pussy afterwards.
ugh.
fuck you, brian.
fuck you, life.
fuck you, ohio.
fuck you, college.
fuck you, crystal.
fuck you, friends.
fuck you, bhs.
fuck you, family.
fuck you, world.
fuck me.
i've had a very irregular childhood.
or maybe it's pretty regular nowadays?
but yeah. stupid Nickleback is stuck in my head.
who the hell was nervous duing their first kiss? who actually goes back through pictures? who cares about a stupid song about someone else's teen years? thanks for rubbing it in our faces that you basically were a bunch of shitheads in high school, dropped/got kicked out, and are now multi-millionaires. great :) and if that part of the song isn't true...well fuck, thanks for writing an "anthem" that i can't get the fuck away from. thank you so very fucking much.
---
Follow me, I'll lead the way; your fears will soon overtake
Hide your infinite tears inside, it seeks your smallest break
Screaming as if nothing helps, you press on to survive
Playing out the fantasies of a force that keeps you alive
He'll have you down on your knees
You play his fatal game
He'll satisfy your every need
You'll never be the same
Take my hand, I'll show you how;
You've just one life to live
The road you're on goes straight to hell;
Your life is yours to give
His fantasies of all of you are much too great to see
This world you're living is so unreal, perfected just for me
He'll have you down on your knees
You play his fatal game
He'll satisfy your every need
You'll never be the same
yeah, basically. he does make me happy and staisfies some of my needs...but he created alot of those needs/ i allowed myself to recognize those needs. i do play his game. he pulls or drags me along at his pace. i'm not the same. i'm far from being the same. he's helped me with alot of stuff, but at the same time... alot of the things i've had to deal with stem from my hanging out with him. and granted, alot of them could be resolved if i just told my parents the truth, that i'm going to hang out with him (but then my mother gets all....mother-y, and either acts like she wants me to fuck him, or like I'm going to be raped after doing tons of drugs and flirting promiscuously.) So often, everything does seeem unreal. when things are going so great and amazing for me... and then of course it shatters. but hey.
the first verse? yeah. 100% me. screaming and crying won't help. but when he always finds the right spots to hit, i give in anymore and semi-let my anger and frusteration out. He's always leading me in circles, and i'm still so fucking scared of him. not of him. but, that he'll not want to be my friend anymore? or that he's just been teasing me all this time, and he really doesn't give a rat's tail about me? Whatever. You know, I try to keep going, but every time i just push through, i lose sleep and get stressed out, etc. and then my will power disappears because, like now, i haven't slept well, truly, in probably almost a month. and so i'm so fucking exhausted. and i just say the first thing out of my mouth, and i don't try to hide much, because, honestly, it's too much work, and i value his opinions so much. So how do i survive? i play out fantasies. fantasies that we'll end up dating. fantasies that we're perfect for each other. fantasies that we're each both who we want the other to be (or atleast who i want him and i to be). fantasies that he'll read this, and learn probably nothing new, but that'll he atleast take the time to read it. fantasies that i'm not just kidding myself. fantasies that ranting like this does help, and that i don't feel like a fucking pussy afterwards.
ugh.
fuck you, brian.
fuck you, life.
fuck you, ohio.
fuck you, college.
fuck you, crystal.
fuck you, friends.
fuck you, bhs.
fuck you, family.
fuck you, world.
fuck me.