(no subject)
The following is a piece that I wrote a month or so ago for Helium.com, which is a "get-paid-to-write" website that specializes in rewarding marginally talented people with the feeling of being "published" and a small cut of their advertising revenue. Lately, the website has come under close scrutiny after allegations of fraudulent business practices and withholding payment have come to light. Basically, you can write about any number of topics, from politics to religion to music and every sub-topic in between. I came across the website and found a topic about love songs. Since I had been having a conversation with someone (I can't remember who) only days before about that very topic, it was the one I chose. As the article is "published" on the website and Helium now owns the rights to it, posting it here on LiveJournal puts me at risk of being sued for plagiarizing myself, which would place me in an elite group of people, including the incomparable John Fogerty. Anyway, here is the article if you decide you want to read it. Please note that it appears exactly as it does on Helium.com, nothing has been edited, and, as of today, the article has earned me twenty cents of Helium's advertising revenue.
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If asked to make a list of the greatest love songs ever written, one must first ask the question, “What makes a song a love song?” This seems to be one of the hardest questions to answer, simply because most of the greatest art ever created, since man first put pen to paper, pick to string, or brush to canvas, is about that very thing. I guess the simple answer would be to say that a song is a love song when it is about or inspired by love. This answer may seem elementary at first, but when you look at it closer it becomes somewhat more problematic.
“Heroin” by Lou Reed is a love song. However, because it is directed at a substance and not a person, it would never even be considered for position on any list of great love songs. It’s an easy fix, though. Just take the lyrics to the song and replace every appearance of the word “heroin” with “Margaret” or “Wendy” and you’ve got yourself a desperate oath of loyalty, the story of a man under the spell of a temptress known to the listener only as Margaret (or, I suppose, Wendy). “Margaret, be the death of me/ Margaret, she is my wife and she is my life.” See? If Lou just omitted the lyric about “dead bodies piled up in mounds,” that could be a freakin’ wedding song. But the existence of love songs not directed at people isn’t the only thing that complicates the search for proper love song criteria. When asked what Eric Clapton’s greatest contribution to the love song genre is, most people would answer with “Wonderful Tonight” or “Layla.” But this is wrong. “Tears in Heaven” is the most heart-wrenching love song that Clapton ever wrote, but it almost never gets counted among his best because a) it is unbelievably sad and b) it has nothing to do with romance. Clapton wrote this song for his son who died in 1991 after falling off a balcony, which is probably the strangest way that anyone can die, especially considering that four-year-old Conor was not on Spring Break and he was not drunk. So how can a song as joyless and unromantic as “Tears in Heaven” be considered a love song? To anybody who has been paying attention, the answer is clear: Because it is inspired by love. It does not have to be love for a significant other, or even for a person at all. So, we now know how to define a love song, but we haven’t yet hit the crux of the problem: How can we separate a plain Jane love song from a GREAT love song, and once we can do that, what are the greatest love songs ever written?
Some people might argue that a love song becomes great when it stands the test of time or if the listener is able to relate completely to the lyrics. This argument is flawed, however. When I was in first grade, I had a debilitating crush on a girl named Mandie. This was about the same time that my dad was listening to a cassette of Billboards’ biggest hits from 1969 whenever we went for rides in the car. My favorite track on the tape was (and still is) The Foundations’ “Build Me Up Buttercup.” Whenever I heard that song, I would think about Mandie and how the song’s lyrics perfectly summed up my situation with her. In reality, the “situation” with Mandie was that she was in my class and (if I recall) we sat somewhat close to one another. That was it. I don’t remember there ever being an instance during that year that involved Mandie and I even speaking to each other. Even still, when the Foundations sang about waiting for a visit from that special Buttercup, only to be let down in the end when it was someone else at the door, I related completely. And when they sang of their desperation in waiting by the phone for her call, I couldn’t help but think, “That’s me and Mandie.” Obviously, this is ridiculous, but not just because I was in first grade. People do this with music every day, and it just goes to show that the listener’s ability to relate to a love song has nothing to do with how “great” or “not great” that song may be. “Build Me Up Buttercup” may very well be a “great” love song, but my ability as a youngster to apply it to my own life has nothing to do with that. If anything, it is proof that we should never underestimate a child’s ability to consume pop music on an emotional level, even if those emotions are in no way grounded in reality. And as for a love song’s ability to stay relevant over time, just listen to Barry Manilow’s 1974 hit “Mandy.” “Mandy” is still enormously popular, but there is nothing “great” about that song and there never will be; but it probably would have been a better choice for my first grade infatuation.
So now, we can recognize what a great love song is NOT, but we’re not finished yet. What makes a love song “great,” I propose, lies in its simplicity. Love is the most complicated feeling that any human being will ever have to grapple with, so when looking for its interpretation within music, there needs to be a balance. For example, most of the songs on Meat Loaf’s 1977 album Bat Out of Hell are love songs. And they are great. But they are not great love songs. They will always be great songs, but they will never be “great” love songs because the feelings described are too complicated. It’s as if when Jim Steinman composed these songs, he was trying to get as musically and lyrically close to the actual emotion of love as he could. While this is a noble goal, he inadvertently prevented himself from writing any love songs that will ever be “great” because he was too obsessed with re-recreating love itself. “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” is a terrific song, but “I want you/ I need you/ But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you” is just too complicated of an emotion for that song to ever be a great love song. It’s just too insistent on re-creating the complications of actually feeling that way.
So, if love is the most complicated emotion we can ever feel (and I think we can all agree that it is), we need to find the counterpoint to that complication. A love song can only be a contender for “greatness” if it is lyrically and musically simple. With that in mind, the following is a list of five songs that I posit should be serious “greatness” contenders.
“What a Wonderful World” (Louis Armstrong) - In keeping with our first rule of thumb, that is, not to be deterred by love songs not directed strictly towards people, this is a great love song. In this song, Satchmo sings of his undying optimism and love for the world itself. With lackadaisical commentary on the grass, the sky, and the colors of the rainbow, “What a Wonderful World” is every inch a love song, and nothing if not simple.
“Nothing Compares 2 U” (Sinead O’Connor) - First, we have to excuse the presence of numerals and letter-for-word substitutions in the song’s title. This song was actually written by Prince and he lost the ability to gauge the coolness of anything a long time ago. This great love song is a lamentation on the universal (read: simple) feeling of loneliness. The lyrics effortlessly portray the singer’s isolation and need for closure on a romance gone sour. It is also one of the most heart-achingly beautiful vocal tracks you could ever hear.
“I Will” (The Beatles) - It really doesn’t get any simpler than this. Light strumming, a basic chord progression, and Paul McCartney’s quiet declaration of devotion to his lady. Whatever it is, he promises, “If you want me to, I will.”
“We’re Going to be Friends” (The White Stripes) - Jack White wrote this song from the perspective of a schoolboy on his blossoming friendship with, what is presumed to be, a girl in his class. With lyrics about playing in the dirt and climbing fences as the two make their way to school, the song is nothing if not innocent and this is accomplished with only three chords played on two strings. No love is more genuine than that of a child for their favorite toy, friend, or family member, and “We’re Going to be Friends” achieves that feeling without a trace of irony or smugness.
“Your Song” (Elton John) - The piano playing is beautiful and the lyrics are sung with honesty and conviction. Of the five songs on this list, this one is probably the most recognizable, and that’s for a very good reason. In addition to be a “great” love song, it is also “great” within another genre: the song-about-a-song. Elton’s mission with “Your Song” is humble - he simply wants his lover’s permission to write a song about them. We are never told what their response is, but if he (?) wasn’t keen on the adulation, well, too bad. There it is.
There. We did it. There is a 93% chance that you will hear a love song before you go to bed tonight unless a) you don’t listen to music or b) you take drugs that prevent you from sleeping. Ever. Either way, when you hear the song, listen closely and see if you can decide if it is a love song or a “great” love song. You’ll know it by its sonic simplicity and its ability to simplify the world’s most complicated emotion. Great Love songs can get you down, they can get you going, and they can even get you laid. It is important to note, however, that this latter function of love songs does not apply to “Tears in Heaven.” If you can successfully have sex while listening to “Tears in Heaven”, you have no business engaging in either activity.
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If asked to make a list of the greatest love songs ever written, one must first ask the question, “What makes a song a love song?” This seems to be one of the hardest questions to answer, simply because most of the greatest art ever created, since man first put pen to paper, pick to string, or brush to canvas, is about that very thing. I guess the simple answer would be to say that a song is a love song when it is about or inspired by love. This answer may seem elementary at first, but when you look at it closer it becomes somewhat more problematic.
“Heroin” by Lou Reed is a love song. However, because it is directed at a substance and not a person, it would never even be considered for position on any list of great love songs. It’s an easy fix, though. Just take the lyrics to the song and replace every appearance of the word “heroin” with “Margaret” or “Wendy” and you’ve got yourself a desperate oath of loyalty, the story of a man under the spell of a temptress known to the listener only as Margaret (or, I suppose, Wendy). “Margaret, be the death of me/ Margaret, she is my wife and she is my life.” See? If Lou just omitted the lyric about “dead bodies piled up in mounds,” that could be a freakin’ wedding song. But the existence of love songs not directed at people isn’t the only thing that complicates the search for proper love song criteria. When asked what Eric Clapton’s greatest contribution to the love song genre is, most people would answer with “Wonderful Tonight” or “Layla.” But this is wrong. “Tears in Heaven” is the most heart-wrenching love song that Clapton ever wrote, but it almost never gets counted among his best because a) it is unbelievably sad and b) it has nothing to do with romance. Clapton wrote this song for his son who died in 1991 after falling off a balcony, which is probably the strangest way that anyone can die, especially considering that four-year-old Conor was not on Spring Break and he was not drunk. So how can a song as joyless and unromantic as “Tears in Heaven” be considered a love song? To anybody who has been paying attention, the answer is clear: Because it is inspired by love. It does not have to be love for a significant other, or even for a person at all. So, we now know how to define a love song, but we haven’t yet hit the crux of the problem: How can we separate a plain Jane love song from a GREAT love song, and once we can do that, what are the greatest love songs ever written?
Some people might argue that a love song becomes great when it stands the test of time or if the listener is able to relate completely to the lyrics. This argument is flawed, however. When I was in first grade, I had a debilitating crush on a girl named Mandie. This was about the same time that my dad was listening to a cassette of Billboards’ biggest hits from 1969 whenever we went for rides in the car. My favorite track on the tape was (and still is) The Foundations’ “Build Me Up Buttercup.” Whenever I heard that song, I would think about Mandie and how the song’s lyrics perfectly summed up my situation with her. In reality, the “situation” with Mandie was that she was in my class and (if I recall) we sat somewhat close to one another. That was it. I don’t remember there ever being an instance during that year that involved Mandie and I even speaking to each other. Even still, when the Foundations sang about waiting for a visit from that special Buttercup, only to be let down in the end when it was someone else at the door, I related completely. And when they sang of their desperation in waiting by the phone for her call, I couldn’t help but think, “That’s me and Mandie.” Obviously, this is ridiculous, but not just because I was in first grade. People do this with music every day, and it just goes to show that the listener’s ability to relate to a love song has nothing to do with how “great” or “not great” that song may be. “Build Me Up Buttercup” may very well be a “great” love song, but my ability as a youngster to apply it to my own life has nothing to do with that. If anything, it is proof that we should never underestimate a child’s ability to consume pop music on an emotional level, even if those emotions are in no way grounded in reality. And as for a love song’s ability to stay relevant over time, just listen to Barry Manilow’s 1974 hit “Mandy.” “Mandy” is still enormously popular, but there is nothing “great” about that song and there never will be; but it probably would have been a better choice for my first grade infatuation.
So now, we can recognize what a great love song is NOT, but we’re not finished yet. What makes a love song “great,” I propose, lies in its simplicity. Love is the most complicated feeling that any human being will ever have to grapple with, so when looking for its interpretation within music, there needs to be a balance. For example, most of the songs on Meat Loaf’s 1977 album Bat Out of Hell are love songs. And they are great. But they are not great love songs. They will always be great songs, but they will never be “great” love songs because the feelings described are too complicated. It’s as if when Jim Steinman composed these songs, he was trying to get as musically and lyrically close to the actual emotion of love as he could. While this is a noble goal, he inadvertently prevented himself from writing any love songs that will ever be “great” because he was too obsessed with re-recreating love itself. “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” is a terrific song, but “I want you/ I need you/ But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you” is just too complicated of an emotion for that song to ever be a great love song. It’s just too insistent on re-creating the complications of actually feeling that way.
So, if love is the most complicated emotion we can ever feel (and I think we can all agree that it is), we need to find the counterpoint to that complication. A love song can only be a contender for “greatness” if it is lyrically and musically simple. With that in mind, the following is a list of five songs that I posit should be serious “greatness” contenders.
“What a Wonderful World” (Louis Armstrong) - In keeping with our first rule of thumb, that is, not to be deterred by love songs not directed strictly towards people, this is a great love song. In this song, Satchmo sings of his undying optimism and love for the world itself. With lackadaisical commentary on the grass, the sky, and the colors of the rainbow, “What a Wonderful World” is every inch a love song, and nothing if not simple.
“Nothing Compares 2 U” (Sinead O’Connor) - First, we have to excuse the presence of numerals and letter-for-word substitutions in the song’s title. This song was actually written by Prince and he lost the ability to gauge the coolness of anything a long time ago. This great love song is a lamentation on the universal (read: simple) feeling of loneliness. The lyrics effortlessly portray the singer’s isolation and need for closure on a romance gone sour. It is also one of the most heart-achingly beautiful vocal tracks you could ever hear.
“I Will” (The Beatles) - It really doesn’t get any simpler than this. Light strumming, a basic chord progression, and Paul McCartney’s quiet declaration of devotion to his lady. Whatever it is, he promises, “If you want me to, I will.”
“We’re Going to be Friends” (The White Stripes) - Jack White wrote this song from the perspective of a schoolboy on his blossoming friendship with, what is presumed to be, a girl in his class. With lyrics about playing in the dirt and climbing fences as the two make their way to school, the song is nothing if not innocent and this is accomplished with only three chords played on two strings. No love is more genuine than that of a child for their favorite toy, friend, or family member, and “We’re Going to be Friends” achieves that feeling without a trace of irony or smugness.
“Your Song” (Elton John) - The piano playing is beautiful and the lyrics are sung with honesty and conviction. Of the five songs on this list, this one is probably the most recognizable, and that’s for a very good reason. In addition to be a “great” love song, it is also “great” within another genre: the song-about-a-song. Elton’s mission with “Your Song” is humble - he simply wants his lover’s permission to write a song about them. We are never told what their response is, but if he (?) wasn’t keen on the adulation, well, too bad. There it is.
There. We did it. There is a 93% chance that you will hear a love song before you go to bed tonight unless a) you don’t listen to music or b) you take drugs that prevent you from sleeping. Ever. Either way, when you hear the song, listen closely and see if you can decide if it is a love song or a “great” love song. You’ll know it by its sonic simplicity and its ability to simplify the world’s most complicated emotion. Great Love songs can get you down, they can get you going, and they can even get you laid. It is important to note, however, that this latter function of love songs does not apply to “Tears in Heaven.” If you can successfully have sex while listening to “Tears in Heaven”, you have no business engaging in either activity.