incestuous happenings
this has been a weird week. i've spent most of it in the company of a woman i recently met who is in a relationship. because her other has been out of town, i've been with her the last three nights and i realize that a. this could end in heartache, b. this could end with really bad feelings, c. this doesn't feel right. i'm unaccustomed to this type of situation.
strangely enough, i found myself talking about this space. i told her that i've tried to do this but feel like a miserable failure. i much prefer reading other people's journals than blogging my boring life.
but, and here is the interesting part, i told her about the woman i've been interested in who writes a journal. i deleted an earlier entry on this woman but it's been so long now and since her hatred of me was clearly stated, i don't mind writing something else about it. i didn't use names but described the situation and the live journal woman's boyfriend-who-dumped-her-and-cheated-on-her-and-broke-her-heart, and she knows him. i gave her the details i knew and she gave me a name. i didn't press her but it sounds like she dated him at one point and knows a lot about him.
anyway, it got me thinking not only about how small this world is but also, how incestuous albuquerque and the surrounding area is. i feel completely depressed about all of this, including and mostly, my interactions with someone who is in a relationship. i think i should stop live journal altogether and perhaps stop dating altogether, at least for a while. my older friend tom says this will pass. i hope he is right.
i pulled a rune tonight and got kenaz: torch. it basically means wisdom, enlightment, insight, and solution to a problem. i like this rune. however, i need all of those things and find them sorely lacking. however, i can be optimistic.
going to bed. had too many scotches. time to sleep.
strangely enough, i found myself talking about this space. i told her that i've tried to do this but feel like a miserable failure. i much prefer reading other people's journals than blogging my boring life.
but, and here is the interesting part, i told her about the woman i've been interested in who writes a journal. i deleted an earlier entry on this woman but it's been so long now and since her hatred of me was clearly stated, i don't mind writing something else about it. i didn't use names but described the situation and the live journal woman's boyfriend-who-dumped-her-and-cheated-on-her-and-broke-her-heart, and she knows him. i gave her the details i knew and she gave me a name. i didn't press her but it sounds like she dated him at one point and knows a lot about him.
anyway, it got me thinking not only about how small this world is but also, how incestuous albuquerque and the surrounding area is. i feel completely depressed about all of this, including and mostly, my interactions with someone who is in a relationship. i think i should stop live journal altogether and perhaps stop dating altogether, at least for a while. my older friend tom says this will pass. i hope he is right.
i pulled a rune tonight and got kenaz: torch. it basically means wisdom, enlightment, insight, and solution to a problem. i like this rune. however, i need all of those things and find them sorely lacking. however, i can be optimistic.
going to bed. had too many scotches. time to sleep.