Random observations on a not-random day

[roosterbear]

Today is the twelve year anniversary of my AIDS diagnosis. I have to say a couple of three things about that:

• I never imagined I would still be alive in twelve years, given where I was.
  
• I never imagined that I would have such a meaningful life.
  
• It figures that I have to get up early this morning, to do that thing that I've decided to do with my life (i.e. case management... okay, that's one of the things).

Oh, and a significant chunk of my energy since February has been invested in attempting to sculpt my body into the kind of shape where I feel like I would fit into this video:


Get Outta My Way (Boys) Tribute from Jeremy Lucido on Vimeo.

(apparently, a great body and lip-synching talent do not always go together)
And I have two three things to say about that:

• At this pace, I'll get there... in maybe three years. Maybe.
  
• Changing the diet seems to have a much greater impact in my forties than it did in my thirties, or even twenties.
  
• Diatomaceous earth makes a huge difference, at least for me. It's the only thing that's given me hope that I can have a flat stomach without having to starve myself. Great stuff!

Okay. I'm not going to pretend that it hasn't been a gajillion years since I've updated my journal. I'm also not going to promise that I'll start updating on a regular basis. I admit that I'm feeling that itch to write again, that I miss the kind of clarity that I get from airing the contents of my head in a public (or semi-public) forum, that it feels like I've kind of fallen into a routine and it's so easy to lose myself in it.

Funny thing: twelve years ago, I never imagined I would live long enough to say (or feel) that last bit. Falling into a routine is really a kind of luxury. It implies that I feel like I have all the time in the world... or that I'm so fulfilled in what I'm doing that there is no need, nor time, for reflection. I don't think either is true, although I do feel fulfilled and I also feel healthier than I've felt in a long time.

I'm probably not going to feel so healthy (or in love with life) in a little over six hours, when my alarm goes off, if I keep typing, so that'll do for now.


  Sperm by Jad Abumrad & Robert Krulwich from WNYC's Radiolab (Rating: 0)