Why I love my new job

[rooshe]

Here is a list of things that I did today while on the clock at work (not on break/lunch):

-Play my DS-Lite
-Douse a flight student in high octane gasoline (oops hahaha)
-Sleep
-Go home and feed the bapees (rats)
-Eat pizza
-Drive a 1,000 gallon bomb (fuel truck)
-Watch Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade
-Go to Burger King and Eat a full meal
-Jog
-Get stopped by the police, asked repeatedly to admit any homocides I've committed, and get 3 backup cars called out
-Play Solitare

I get paid for all of this, and today is a normal day.