(no subject)
kind of a long post today so i'll spare your eyes and screen space if you don't want to read it.
Got home today, did a fair amount of cleaning after a long period of neglect. I kind of regret squandering the opportunity to take a nap (considering how tired I am now) but I got more done personally in the last 6 hours than I have in the last 6 months. I even did a load of laundry, which I never feel like doing.
My hands still hurt. The joints feel much slower than they did a month ago, and I get a pain in the top of my right hand whenever I move my fingers. Makes typing and playing much harder and more painful. I guess I still do it because I'm masochistic in a way; either that or I refuse to admit I need to see a doctor. Which is worse, stubbornness or laziness? People sometimes confuse one with the other.
What seems even worse is I feel like my mind is falling apart. I'm constantly walking around in haze- I never feel completely awake no matter how rested I am. I'm much more forgetful than I used to be. My spelling isn't as good as it used to be- I can still remember words, but it sometimes takes me longer to remember. God, I'm turning 18 in 2 weeks and it feels like I'm turning 80.
The weird thing is, in spite of all this, I'm better at math than I've ever been. I absolutely hated Algebra 1 and Geometry, but this year Calculus has mostly been pretty easy for me. I just do all the homework and the study sheet and I get A's on the tests, with the occasional B, which is fine. I don't really study for it, but I never really study for anything anymore unless I absolutely have to (and even then, I pretty much BS it). I'll shape up by the time I hit college, though. By then I'll have a reason to study- I won't be able to get away with skimming the materials at that point.
It just leads me to think how my laziness and immaturity led to my not-so-great grades in sophomore and junior year. I struggled and struggled and ended up with several Bs and one fucking horrible C- which has a rant in itself*. Finally, in my senior year, when it matters the least if you get a couple B's, I manage to get straight As and a 4.5 without trying all that hard.
Last summer, other than the France trip I mostly stayed in my room and did absolutely nothing. It was actually pretty nice, and I didn't miss the heat and brightness of going outside. But this summer, I'm much more ambitious: I'm considering getting my old job back, and starting to exercise on a regular basis. See, a while back I lost a lot of weight, but I'm still horribly out of shape. I'm definitely much better off than I was before, but I'm not sure that's good enough. Besides, it's not all that impressive to go from bloated to doughy.
I think I'll try to wean myself off of contacts and back onto glasses. Those things have been absolute torture on my eyes, but I've become so used to them now that I need to feel the pain of having them in to feel awake and alert. that scares me to be honest, and hopefully i can use the time of the summer where it's ok to do shit like that without worrying about messing stuff up in school.
Fun with econ: yesterday I waited for hours since Erik said he might be able to get me a test to copy. He finally pulls through but says I can't fax it at his house because it would wake up his mom. So after a frantic copying session I paid a late night visit to the ever-affable Jeff Bang's house to fax it in. And since we're scheduled to do two assignments on our week off, I stretched the truth a bit to the teacher and managed to get an extension to the Friday of the week we get back. Shit yeah it's cool (oh goddamn). Bonus points for anyone besides Erik and Ryan who gets that reference.
*This was Thompson's AP English class. Admittedly I didn't try as hard as I could've in that class, but I got reasonably high test grades and more often than not high grades on my essays. That's not even it though- I was the only person in the entire school to get a 5 on that AP test, and I get the lowest possible passing grade.
Still, even with the C my GPA was a 4.0. Thompson hated me but I won- maybe it was a moral if not academic victory, but I feel better about it knowing that.
eh, fuck it, you don't want to read that crap. here's a funny image. even more bonus points if you get this reference.
oh yeah, does anyone think this is a fairly accurate cartoon depiction of me (wearing glasses, since starting in the summer I'll be back on the specs permanently) ?:
Got home today, did a fair amount of cleaning after a long period of neglect. I kind of regret squandering the opportunity to take a nap (considering how tired I am now) but I got more done personally in the last 6 hours than I have in the last 6 months. I even did a load of laundry, which I never feel like doing.
My hands still hurt. The joints feel much slower than they did a month ago, and I get a pain in the top of my right hand whenever I move my fingers. Makes typing and playing much harder and more painful. I guess I still do it because I'm masochistic in a way; either that or I refuse to admit I need to see a doctor. Which is worse, stubbornness or laziness? People sometimes confuse one with the other.
What seems even worse is I feel like my mind is falling apart. I'm constantly walking around in haze- I never feel completely awake no matter how rested I am. I'm much more forgetful than I used to be. My spelling isn't as good as it used to be- I can still remember words, but it sometimes takes me longer to remember. God, I'm turning 18 in 2 weeks and it feels like I'm turning 80.
The weird thing is, in spite of all this, I'm better at math than I've ever been. I absolutely hated Algebra 1 and Geometry, but this year Calculus has mostly been pretty easy for me. I just do all the homework and the study sheet and I get A's on the tests, with the occasional B, which is fine. I don't really study for it, but I never really study for anything anymore unless I absolutely have to (and even then, I pretty much BS it). I'll shape up by the time I hit college, though. By then I'll have a reason to study- I won't be able to get away with skimming the materials at that point.
It just leads me to think how my laziness and immaturity led to my not-so-great grades in sophomore and junior year. I struggled and struggled and ended up with several Bs and one fucking horrible C- which has a rant in itself*. Finally, in my senior year, when it matters the least if you get a couple B's, I manage to get straight As and a 4.5 without trying all that hard.
Last summer, other than the France trip I mostly stayed in my room and did absolutely nothing. It was actually pretty nice, and I didn't miss the heat and brightness of going outside. But this summer, I'm much more ambitious: I'm considering getting my old job back, and starting to exercise on a regular basis. See, a while back I lost a lot of weight, but I'm still horribly out of shape. I'm definitely much better off than I was before, but I'm not sure that's good enough. Besides, it's not all that impressive to go from bloated to doughy.
I think I'll try to wean myself off of contacts and back onto glasses. Those things have been absolute torture on my eyes, but I've become so used to them now that I need to feel the pain of having them in to feel awake and alert. that scares me to be honest, and hopefully i can use the time of the summer where it's ok to do shit like that without worrying about messing stuff up in school.
Fun with econ: yesterday I waited for hours since Erik said he might be able to get me a test to copy. He finally pulls through but says I can't fax it at his house because it would wake up his mom. So after a frantic copying session I paid a late night visit to the ever-affable Jeff Bang's house to fax it in. And since we're scheduled to do two assignments on our week off, I stretched the truth a bit to the teacher and managed to get an extension to the Friday of the week we get back. Shit yeah it's cool (oh goddamn). Bonus points for anyone besides Erik and Ryan who gets that reference.
*This was Thompson's AP English class. Admittedly I didn't try as hard as I could've in that class, but I got reasonably high test grades and more often than not high grades on my essays. That's not even it though- I was the only person in the entire school to get a 5 on that AP test, and I get the lowest possible passing grade.
Still, even with the C my GPA was a 4.0. Thompson hated me but I won- maybe it was a moral if not academic victory, but I feel better about it knowing that.
eh, fuck it, you don't want to read that crap. here's a funny image. even more bonus points if you get this reference.
oh yeah, does anyone think this is a fairly accurate cartoon depiction of me (wearing glasses, since starting in the summer I'll be back on the specs permanently) ?: