this is how it goes
I don't know how to date like a grown up. Everything I learned from 90s sitcoms taught me the following. People ask one another on dates. There are rules about how often you should call someone. Except. I'm 25 and I've only been on two dates and nobody calls anybody anymore. And in these sitcoms, everybody lived in cute apartments and had normal-ish jobs. Nobody talked about the college lifestyle and living down the hall from one another. I don't even remember sitcoms talking about how to date someone you take classes with or work with.
So now I don't know how to date. The last time dating made sense was in middle school. If someone liked you and they were reasonably certain that you liked them back (or were incredibly confident), they asked you out. If they didn't like you anymore, they broke up with you...or had their friend do it for them. Everything was always certain. You were either dating or you weren't. There was none of this "well we made out at the KDR party so I think he likes me" crap. (Side note - I never made out with anyone at a KDR party.)
I try to take what I know from past "relationships" and apply them to new dating scenarios, but of course it doesn't work. Nobody is the same. If Josh basically lived with me and texted me all day long but didn't want to be in a relationship, how does that apply to somebody that says they want a relationship but can go days on end without responding to a text? How can I get close when I'm always afraid that something is about to go wrong? How do I deal with good day followed by bad day followed by awesome day followed by worse day? I know people need time off but I don't know how to do that because nobody's ever done that before, they've just fled.
So now I don't know how to date. The last time dating made sense was in middle school. If someone liked you and they were reasonably certain that you liked them back (or were incredibly confident), they asked you out. If they didn't like you anymore, they broke up with you...or had their friend do it for them. Everything was always certain. You were either dating or you weren't. There was none of this "well we made out at the KDR party so I think he likes me" crap. (Side note - I never made out with anyone at a KDR party.)
I try to take what I know from past "relationships" and apply them to new dating scenarios, but of course it doesn't work. Nobody is the same. If Josh basically lived with me and texted me all day long but didn't want to be in a relationship, how does that apply to somebody that says they want a relationship but can go days on end without responding to a text? How can I get close when I'm always afraid that something is about to go wrong? How do I deal with good day followed by bad day followed by awesome day followed by worse day? I know people need time off but I don't know how to do that because nobody's ever done that before, they've just fled.