Hot tramp, I love you so.
This is a survey that no one has ever done before me and anyone who claims that I stole it from them is in fact using code talk to try and tell you that they are gay. All must understand this.
[A is for age:]
20
[B is for booze of choice:]
Um, well, I don’t drink beer because only fags drink beer, but I do drink vodka, and when I drink vodka, I usually drink too much of it. And then I start throwing shit. And then the family of the 6-year-old birthday girl tells me to get out of their backyard. And then they tell me to remove the cake I stuffed in my pockets and then, well you know what, lets just leave it at that.
[C is for career:]
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………….Chef? (please tell me if you got that)
[D is for your dog's name:]
David Orgill. He’s my brotha of anotha culla. He’s ma dog, ya’ll. We ride together; we die together, bad boys for life.
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:]
Plenty of GHB to go around………. Let me take a minute here to say that I just wrote that and was like “shit, that’s kind of really fucked up. I’m an asshole. Oh well. *WINK
[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
The King of Carrot Flowers
[G is for favorite game:]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game for the first Nintendo. God damn it did I love that game as a child.
[H is for hometown:]
Bridgewater, NJ- Fucking Jersey Represent Ya’ll White Ass Bitches!
[I is for instruments you play:]
Working on guitar. Very slowly.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Strawberry. Hands down.
[K is for kids?]
What about them? By asking this question are you somehow implying that kids are something to be questioned? If children are being investigated by secret agencies that can only lead someone to one logical conclusion- Children are robots controlled by, you guessed it, a superior race of super cyborgs who were sent back in time, but due to a periodic tremor in the time rift they were accidentally sent to mars, but luckily they left secret miconanno machines in the Martian soil and so when that probe thing brought back all those mars rocks the micronanno machines infected the entire population of earths children and replaced their insides with an odd system of pulleys and gears operated by small wood elves. Don’t you hate it when shit is predictable?
[L is for last kiss?]
Quite a long time ago.
[M is for mom's job:]
She’s a vice principal of a grade school. But she’s the principal of hugs. And she’s also one of the principal characters in my autobiography- What I Do in the Dark: or How My Parents Fucked Me Up for Life. (That’s a joke people, I refuse to go into any dark rooms (that’s where the shadow demons hide.))
[N is for name of your crush:]
Um, not telling. And the term ‘crush’ is just a pinch 6th grade.
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
I’ve been to the hospital tons of times but I never had to stay overnight. KNOCK WOOD! Am I right? Huh?………. Fuck all of you.
[P is for phobias:]
Assrapeaphobia.
[Q is for quotes you like:]
Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end, you’re only fucking yourself.
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest]:
I don’t remember.
[S is for sexual preference:]
Vaginas Please
[T is for time you wake up:]
Never late enough.
[U is for underwear:]
Um, very manly boxers.
[V is for vegetable you love:]
Onions, potato’s, broccoli, spinach, corn. Goodness, there’s just too many to name.
[W is for worst habit:]
Thinking I have bad habits.
[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Shin, wrist, collarbone- All broken.
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I heat up these blueberry muffins so good; you’d swear it came right out of the oven.
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Capricorn. The noble ram or goat or some shit.
[A is for age:]
20
[B is for booze of choice:]
Um, well, I don’t drink beer because only fags drink beer, but I do drink vodka, and when I drink vodka, I usually drink too much of it. And then I start throwing shit. And then the family of the 6-year-old birthday girl tells me to get out of their backyard. And then they tell me to remove the cake I stuffed in my pockets and then, well you know what, lets just leave it at that.
[C is for career:]
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………….Chef? (please tell me if you got that)
[D is for your dog's name:]
David Orgill. He’s my brotha of anotha culla. He’s ma dog, ya’ll. We ride together; we die together, bad boys for life.
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:]
Plenty of GHB to go around………. Let me take a minute here to say that I just wrote that and was like “shit, that’s kind of really fucked up. I’m an asshole. Oh well. *WINK
[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
The King of Carrot Flowers
[G is for favorite game:]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game for the first Nintendo. God damn it did I love that game as a child.
[H is for hometown:]
Bridgewater, NJ- Fucking Jersey Represent Ya’ll White Ass Bitches!
[I is for instruments you play:]
Working on guitar. Very slowly.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Strawberry. Hands down.
[K is for kids?]
What about them? By asking this question are you somehow implying that kids are something to be questioned? If children are being investigated by secret agencies that can only lead someone to one logical conclusion- Children are robots controlled by, you guessed it, a superior race of super cyborgs who were sent back in time, but due to a periodic tremor in the time rift they were accidentally sent to mars, but luckily they left secret miconanno machines in the Martian soil and so when that probe thing brought back all those mars rocks the micronanno machines infected the entire population of earths children and replaced their insides with an odd system of pulleys and gears operated by small wood elves. Don’t you hate it when shit is predictable?
[L is for last kiss?]
Quite a long time ago.
[M is for mom's job:]
She’s a vice principal of a grade school. But she’s the principal of hugs. And she’s also one of the principal characters in my autobiography- What I Do in the Dark: or How My Parents Fucked Me Up for Life. (That’s a joke people, I refuse to go into any dark rooms (that’s where the shadow demons hide.))
[N is for name of your crush:]
Um, not telling. And the term ‘crush’ is just a pinch 6th grade.
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
I’ve been to the hospital tons of times but I never had to stay overnight. KNOCK WOOD! Am I right? Huh?………. Fuck all of you.
[P is for phobias:]
Assrapeaphobia.
[Q is for quotes you like:]
Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end, you’re only fucking yourself.
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest]:
I don’t remember.
[S is for sexual preference:]
Vaginas Please
[T is for time you wake up:]
Never late enough.
[U is for underwear:]
Um, very manly boxers.
[V is for vegetable you love:]
Onions, potato’s, broccoli, spinach, corn. Goodness, there’s just too many to name.
[W is for worst habit:]
Thinking I have bad habits.
[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Shin, wrist, collarbone- All broken.
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I heat up these blueberry muffins so good; you’d swear it came right out of the oven.
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Capricorn. The noble ram or goat or some shit.