ESKIMO?!?
I felt a sudden urge to update this with somefing, ANYFING, so here I go. Don't get your hopes up. I'm going to just start typing shit out and not bother to go back and edit/fix/change anything, including spelling and punctuation.
On Friday, I
Actually you know what nevermind. I started typing that sentence, sat there for five minutes, and gave up and decided to start over upon accepting the fact that I can't remember what I did on Friday. It was Friday, so I must have gone to work, but that's about all I got. I think maybe I got yelled at for something. I probably hit a few kids or whatever, too.
On Saturday, I can't remember what I did for the first half of the day, but it probably had a lot to do with smoking dope and spinning psytrance. I think maybe I rode Yuka's bike to the mall or something as well, because I remember buying a collection of M.C. Escher art for Noppi for his birfday, which was on the 28th.
Later on that night we (Yuka and I, asshole) decided to walk out to Tennoji (which turned into Namba) to find a hotel to stay at, because we aren't very smart. On the way there Yuka was talking about how she doesn't like her job, the place she lives, and general life-shit. So I took her for a walk through Nishinari and Sanno at 1am. For those of you who don't know, to a wealthy Japanese person Nishinari at 1am is THE SCARIEST AND MOST DANGEROUS FUCKING PLACE ON MY ISLAND. I showed her all the homeless people, meth fiends, dope dealers, whores, weirdos (the Bad Kind), and the Eta, and explained to her how - when compared with something like maybe five billion or so of the other folks on the planet - her life was basically THE SHIT. She had never seen anything like this in her entire life, which isn't really all that surprising. You don't like having to stay after work an extra 30 minutes? THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE CAMPING OUT WITH PIECES OF CARDBOARD TO POSSIBLY GET ONE DAY'S WORK TOMORROW. You want to eat healthy, high quality, homemade meals every night? THAT DUDE IS HOPING FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS HEART THAT THERE IS SOME KIND OF EDIBLE MATTER IN THAT FUCKING GARBAGE CAN. Your bathroom is too small? HOMEBOY IS MAKING MOOKIE-STINKS ON THE SIDEWALK. Cleaning up the hallways and classrooms is tedious work? THESE FILTHY BITCHES PLAY POGO STICK WITH SKANKY SALARYMAN COCK ALL DAY. Partway through the tour she started to feel sick as I continued to mercilessly pummel her mental solar plexus with my Fist of Social Consciousness, fingers wrapped tightly around my Roll of Quarters of Reality. She hasn't complained since.
We stayed at the Villa Giulia, which was mysteriously bereft of all the dagos I expected to be hanging around once we walked inside. Please allow me a moment here to complain about pornography. Don't get me wrong: I do not dislike porn. In fact, you could even say that I like porn. And if one were so inclined, one could even venture to state that my penis would have no qualms in any way whatsoever with challenging one to be more inclined to venture to state the very statement we are currently discussing than said penis would become when presented with the opportunity to view said porn. Now if you'll excuse me while I quickly release the English language from the crushing Headlock of Utter Domination in which I have so lovingly - yet forcefully, and with authority - placed it, I will return to whatever the fuck it was I was talking about. So anyway, I like porn. Especially free porn. Of which the Villa Giulia graciously offered FIVE CHANNELS. The problem is, one of those channels was showing watchable porn.
Channel 1 consists of a pretty basic setup: Aesthetically passable Broad blows greasy Dude, Dude plows Broad, Broad gets visage laminated. OK, but nothing special, or even useful, if you know what I mean, AND I THINK YOU DO! But just in case you don't, I mean "like for masturbating to." Great, now you've made me say it and everyone is uncomfortable. Just for fucking up my meaninglessly long paragraph, I hope you were reading this out loud to your blind grandmother in front of your priest and didn't realize what you'd read until you had already said it. Jerkoff. Back to the porn. That was Channel 1. Channel 2 had some documentary about some porn star at some autograph-signing event. Channel 3 had some movie with like eight African dudes ruining some zipperhead. Channel 4 had an even less attractive broad spanking off five old-ass salarymen. Channel 5 had two dudes sucking off a CHICA-CON-DICKA, for all of you SpanishthatImadeup-speakers. Now I have nothing at all against dicks, as long as it's my own. Otherwise, I want nothing to do with dicks. But I don't want to see a dick on a broad. It's just not right. My weekend was great, thank you very much, I have to go pick Yuka up from the station now. I'll read through this later on. If anyone gets a chance to do this before I do, leave a comment and let me know if you find any mistakes in spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Fanks.
On Friday, I
Actually you know what nevermind. I started typing that sentence, sat there for five minutes, and gave up and decided to start over upon accepting the fact that I can't remember what I did on Friday. It was Friday, so I must have gone to work, but that's about all I got. I think maybe I got yelled at for something. I probably hit a few kids or whatever, too.
On Saturday, I can't remember what I did for the first half of the day, but it probably had a lot to do with smoking dope and spinning psytrance. I think maybe I rode Yuka's bike to the mall or something as well, because I remember buying a collection of M.C. Escher art for Noppi for his birfday, which was on the 28th.
Later on that night we (Yuka and I, asshole) decided to walk out to Tennoji (which turned into Namba) to find a hotel to stay at, because we aren't very smart. On the way there Yuka was talking about how she doesn't like her job, the place she lives, and general life-shit. So I took her for a walk through Nishinari and Sanno at 1am. For those of you who don't know, to a wealthy Japanese person Nishinari at 1am is THE SCARIEST AND MOST DANGEROUS FUCKING PLACE ON MY ISLAND. I showed her all the homeless people, meth fiends, dope dealers, whores, weirdos (the Bad Kind), and the Eta, and explained to her how - when compared with something like maybe five billion or so of the other folks on the planet - her life was basically THE SHIT. She had never seen anything like this in her entire life, which isn't really all that surprising. You don't like having to stay after work an extra 30 minutes? THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE CAMPING OUT WITH PIECES OF CARDBOARD TO POSSIBLY GET ONE DAY'S WORK TOMORROW. You want to eat healthy, high quality, homemade meals every night? THAT DUDE IS HOPING FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS HEART THAT THERE IS SOME KIND OF EDIBLE MATTER IN THAT FUCKING GARBAGE CAN. Your bathroom is too small? HOMEBOY IS MAKING MOOKIE-STINKS ON THE SIDEWALK. Cleaning up the hallways and classrooms is tedious work? THESE FILTHY BITCHES PLAY POGO STICK WITH SKANKY SALARYMAN COCK ALL DAY. Partway through the tour she started to feel sick as I continued to mercilessly pummel her mental solar plexus with my Fist of Social Consciousness, fingers wrapped tightly around my Roll of Quarters of Reality. She hasn't complained since.
We stayed at the Villa Giulia, which was mysteriously bereft of all the dagos I expected to be hanging around once we walked inside. Please allow me a moment here to complain about pornography. Don't get me wrong: I do not dislike porn. In fact, you could even say that I like porn. And if one were so inclined, one could even venture to state that my penis would have no qualms in any way whatsoever with challenging one to be more inclined to venture to state the very statement we are currently discussing than said penis would become when presented with the opportunity to view said porn. Now if you'll excuse me while I quickly release the English language from the crushing Headlock of Utter Domination in which I have so lovingly - yet forcefully, and with authority - placed it, I will return to whatever the fuck it was I was talking about. So anyway, I like porn. Especially free porn. Of which the Villa Giulia graciously offered FIVE CHANNELS. The problem is, one of those channels was showing watchable porn.
Channel 1 consists of a pretty basic setup: Aesthetically passable Broad blows greasy Dude, Dude plows Broad, Broad gets visage laminated. OK, but nothing special, or even useful, if you know what I mean, AND I THINK YOU DO! But just in case you don't, I mean "like for masturbating to." Great, now you've made me say it and everyone is uncomfortable. Just for fucking up my meaninglessly long paragraph, I hope you were reading this out loud to your blind grandmother in front of your priest and didn't realize what you'd read until you had already said it. Jerkoff. Back to the porn. That was Channel 1. Channel 2 had some documentary about some porn star at some autograph-signing event. Channel 3 had some movie with like eight African dudes ruining some zipperhead. Channel 4 had an even less attractive broad spanking off five old-ass salarymen. Channel 5 had two dudes sucking off a CHICA-CON-DICKA, for all of you SpanishthatImadeup-speakers. Now I have nothing at all against dicks, as long as it's my own. Otherwise, I want nothing to do with dicks. But I don't want to see a dick on a broad. It's just not right. My weekend was great, thank you very much, I have to go pick Yuka up from the station now. I'll read through this later on. If anyone gets a chance to do this before I do, leave a comment and let me know if you find any mistakes in spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Fanks.