there's always more to be said beyond what you can make yourself say
thanksgiving.
what am i thankful for?
everything.
no, actually. i am.
i am thankful for good food, warm houses. the surreality of the city and all the lives happening within it.
my life is just so... so good. that. oh, i hardly even know how to describe it.
i never knew it was possible to have this kind of balance. it's all so structured, i have so much responsibility. and you'd think i'd hate it, right? but i don't. i just love it.
i absolutely adore it.
and it's because of that, that father and i have been getting along better than ever. he trusts me to make my own decisions and do the right thing. i am completely satisfied with all areas of my life. completely. and i'm sure you've heard me say that before, and odds are i'll probably be saying it again. but it applies to me for right now, and that is what i believe is important.
i see my friends on the days that i don't have work (which doesn't exactly seem to amount to much), i am thankful for any time i get to spend with them. in fact, i think they might just be what i'm most thankful for this year. cliche, i know. but if it weren't for my father, if it weren't for shana and lucy and mary and everyone else... god, i don't even want to think about what it would be like. they make life so much simpler.
and then there's those of you that i don't see as i'd like to. emily, tom, brita, marcus... i really miss you all a lot. i hate the loneliness i feel without you. it makes my day when i know you'll be coming home, to know you'll be back in the neighborhood again and just a few minutes away.
and then... then there's jack. who in spite of all the stupid things i say or do, all my vices and quirks and just plain old obnoxious tendencies, seems to like me all the same.
it makes me nervous sometimes, though i know it shouldn't. i worry over how to act and what to look like. i've never truly had that anxiety with anyone else. make of it what you want to, it just is what it is i guess.
the bottom line? jack has been an absolutely wonderful addition to my life these past few months, and it's already easy to see how we've grown since we've been together. beyond pure chemistry, that's what i think it's all about. the ability to maintain compatibility while everything around you changes.
i look forward to where this relationship will take us both. but right now, i couldn't ask for any better.
i love you all so much.
happy thanksgiving.