[Uraboku] Bruises and Bitemarks (2/?)

[rooftop_sakura]

Title: Bruises and Bitemarks
Author: masanami
Character(s): Hotsuma/Shusei, mentions of Senshirou/Kuroto, Takashiro, Tachibana, and others
Word Count: 9,050
Rating: R
Warnings: Host AU. Suggestive material.
Summary: Shusei's the perfect host and Hotsuma's the perfect person to ruin everything for him.

Comments

[ravanna]

Oh my, you have no idea how much I was actually waiting for this and how happy, just how happy this chapter somehow made me.

I just LOVED how you started. I loved, loved waking up with Shusei, I think all the little descriptions and the way your style seemed to flow as soon as you wrote him was superb, not reading fiction but at least feeling like literature. The scene, as simple as it appeared, was well-done with him trying to figure out what happened last night (describing Hotsuma as trouble was SO making me smile; I LOVED how you put that thought into Shusei's head, it fits him so well), but I also loved his way to work.
No one wants to meet the gaze of a host-of a beautiful man whose job is to lure a person in with a single smile meant to snatch both money and affection. kinda got stuck as a line in my head; it really fulfills its way of concluding what Shusei does - what he IS, funnily, is something he seems to know well enough; and yet you managed to show it as if it's understandable, really, why Shusei does what he does, and why he still can look down on others.

Hyde and Jekyll made me glee, too. LOVE seeing old faces and THESE two are very fitting into the general theme; I can totally see them*laughs*

Shusei being strangled by his lies one day - of what a picture you painted there. This is exactly why I love your writing, it's just smooth and runs like hot chocolate. I can read most other fanfiction between door and angle if I have to, but yours - always needs preparation, coffee and something sweet to enjoy every line I get.

Senshirou and Kuroto...were the ones making me realize how much I miss our boys, and how much I appreciate their appearances here. Really, they're done so in character one only has to love them.

And OOOOH when Hotsuma simply appeared out of nothingness and told Shusei he couldn't afford spending time inside the club with him but how about breakfeast I had to stop for a second and thought: D'OH!! HO MY GOD!! YOU CANNOT ASK HIM LIKE THAT!!
Because - really; that moment? Priceless. And I really wasn't sure how Shusei might react, so you really managed to create suspense right there hitting my face.

And baby, you made my heart ache.
I've read so much, and most stuff doesn't “touch” me anymore. It's all been said before, done before, you’ve seen it better, brighter, more beautiful in writing or plot - but THIS?

I liked the restaurant scene - and I admit Shusei is giving ME a hard time, too, following his words and getting the meaning of what he says; there seems to be so much talk just for the sense of talk, though he is not in the position of a host at that moment - but when he came home? The recall of that kiss, of his own arching heart? Perfect. I'm so in love with your Shusei, and though we're seeing Hotsuma only from the outside, I love his personality, the light he shines with, even the pure honesty and believe he works with, things we could also call dumbness.

Oh MY. So much dynamite placed all around them; Reiga, Takashiro acting strange, Hotsuma, Shusei, and the problem of finding himself somehow...I am SO looking forward to the next one, darling. I think your style was even better in this one; so - this thing's just amazing. Keep up the great work.

[masanami]

Oh dear, your words just leave me speechless. The fact that you were waiting for this chapter and that it made you happy just...ahh...makes me really happy!! You are definitely one of the readers in the back of mind when I'm writing this--one of the opinions I value very highly ♥

I think Shusei would instantly recognize Hotsuma for the trouble he is even if I haven't really gotten much into their backgrounds yet--what led them to the places that they are now except for a small gleam from Hotsuma. The entire scene from the subway was one SO true in Tokyo and Kyoto. You could tell the hosts apart from other people and it was so obvious and out there, and it made me wonder what it felt like for them...and I just had to explore that with Shusei--that knowing that people know what you do and the lifestyle you live just by a single glance.

Oh Jekyll and Hyde will certainly be causing mischief~ I imagine them to be quite abrasive in this AU setting, and not so fond of the number one host Shusei who so obviously looks down on others <3

yaay~ I am so glad that Hotsuma's surprise visit brought some suspense to the reading and was maybe, idk, not predictable? Somehow I just absolutely saw Hotsuma as wanting to see Shusei again and deciding that taking a host to breakfast after work would be the perfectly logical thing to do when short on cash^^

Oh my...the restaurant scene was the one that gave me the most trouble and I spent days wallowing over. It was such an important scene for establishing the dynamics of their relationship, for laying the foundation for the change and development that will come, even if it may come across merely as subtle in the writing. Shusei, I hope it shows, constantly relates his encounters with other people to women and how he handles them in the club--how he deals with other people through his experiences as a host and not really as an individual person, not as "Shusei" and how that he has kinda lost that establishment of his own person--and how Hotsuma makes me forget that and makes him doubt--makes him think he understands it but then doesn't. I think Shusei should be a bit confusing here because he's confused, though he may not outright admit it, that when he thinks he has Hotsuma down and knows how to handle him Hotsuma says something that completely throws what he's been thinking aside and surprises him.

I hope the little plot that I'm setting up will both surprise and entertain you darling~ I still have so much left to explore as I really feel like these first two chapters were just about introduction and setting, and laying the foundations for the relationship that is developing between Hotsuma and Shusei.

Sweetheart, thank you so much for such lovely words ♥ LOL and I hope you don't mind my own little self-analysis about my writing there orz I got carried away in talking about their dynamics

[ravanna]

Haha, oh my; now you make me feel honored like crazy. It's - it really touches me, that you value my opinion, for I feel very much the same whenever I post something, it feels like: She'll read it. gosh, will she approve it?
Because, dear, there is so much admiration for you I must sound like a fangirl or something.

But really, out of pure philosophy, it's not like people HAVE to do the job - they choose it out of whatever the reason may be, and I'm REALLY curious why Shusei decided to do it. In a way, that question is already answered (because it really is just what he is, a chamaeleon transforming any which way others want him to) but maybe there's more to come; I'll stay tuned.

And I liked the Restaurant scene for exactly that reason: we see Shusei, still trying to behave socially in patterns the club somehow "taught" him, and that really, really made me sad, yet it is absolutely realistically. Id also say that scene is up to this point the most realistic in the whole fiction; it misses the edge of literature and simply plays the way life would in a situation like that, too.

I am really, really looking forward to all to come. This story entertains me well; it's one of the best AU's I've ever read, and I usually despise them, for they do not represent the real characters at all, but you do, you did, and I am sure you're going to keep it that way.

♥ Oh, I so know why I look up at you*laughs*
(and no! No excuses, I LOVE chatting about fiction, be it my own or the work of others, so keep talking to me. You know I love it, as much as I love you)

[masanami]

Haha I feel SO the same way^^ You and a few other special people are the one's whose opinions matter the most to me :)

ahhh...Shusei...that is exactly why he instantly came to my mind as being a perfect host. He always has that distance that acts just accordingly in any situation. The perfect student that finds no love in any of the things he does...except for Hotsuma ♥

I love how you put that. "Social patterns of the club" is so how I see it. I think it is sad because that says a lot about Shusei as a character in this AU and what he lacks in individuality because of the lifestyle he's chosen...and ultimately the things that brought him there...and just the value he places in himself as an individual person.

gaaah~ you compliment me TOO MUCH ♥ but oh my it's makes me grin like crazy too LOL I hope the world this AU creates continues to be one in which Odagiri's characters can thrive^^

(haha I love it too. pfft. love you daring~)