Fanfic
I have read fanfic since I was reading Mulder x Scully fics on Gossamer. No, even before that on webrings and mailing lists. So for well over twenty years now. I read a whole lot of fanfic my last year in Japan because due to some weirdness of location and radio-waves, I couldn’t get anything in on my TV but NHK. Back then I was reading on fanfiction.net.
I have had a lot of ships I obsessed over. I have ships I became deeply invested in without ever experiencing the original material. When I find my OTP for any given franchise? I will never stop loving them. I still reread fics I bookmarked almost 20 years ago and they still make me as giggly and happy as they did back then.
I don’t get a lot of ships though. I don’t understand their appeal. I have probably more NOTPs than OTPs honestly, and sometimes they are the most popular ships in a fandom by many, many orders of magnitude. So some of my ships are really hard to find fic for. Do you know what I do? I complain to people in my life about it, sometimes, when they’re in the mood to humor my weird obsessions to some degree.
Another thing I don’t get? Whump fics. Hurt, no comfort. The kind of fics that either leave me crying so hard my husband gets worried about me or, more frequently, I just nope out of. Fanfic is fix-it fic to me. That’s the purpose of it. That’s the reason it exists or at least the reason I seek it out. I very, very, rarely read fic for things where I love the ending. I almost never read fics where the undesirable ending is dealt with “realistically,” that is to say, “not fixed.”
I never seek out tragic, ”deeper” stories. The pursuit of “depth” is often why I find myself fleeing a media corporation’s newest offering. Oh look, more trauma! More death! More darkness! More bleak “realness!” That is the purview of the nightly news. Of the phone calls and chat messages I get where I carefully, gently work through someone else’s sorrow with them. I will do that as many times as someone needs me to do so because they are real people living real lives in the real world where they effect other real people. I do not wish to witness therapy for fictional characters. I freely admit a lot of characters need therapy! I just don’t need to be with them on their journey. Others do, obviously.
Just like my overlooked OTPs, I sometimes find myself in fandoms where the majority of skilled writers love to squeeze the stony hearts of their readers until they bleed. I brush up against the accolades bestowed on these talented authors and I wish they would write the kind of stories I want to read. Silently. I silently wish they would write the kind of stories I want to read.
My long years in fandom have taught me a few truly valuable life lessons. 1) There is no winning a flame war. Just like you can’t outrun being on fire, the best tactic is to stop, drop and roll away. 2) There’s a lot of stuff out there that just isn’t meant for you. Complaining about it won’t magically make creators lovingly craft things catered to your taste. Complaining just ruins the enjoyment of your fellow metaphorical diners and upsets the chef. 3) Conversely, there are a number of people who derive satisfaction from focusing on what they disapprove of and trying to prevent anyone from approving of it. These people will question your intelligence, your reasoning, your ethics, your taste, your sophistication, your morality, your insight, really anything that will make you feel ashamed and ruin your enjoyment. Try to remember that they are upset that there isn’t enough of what they want and practice compassion - from a safe distance. 4) When you do find stuff you love, let people know you love it. Recommend it. Share it. Comment on it. Kudos it. Send positive vibrations to the creator. Whatever way you can, show your love. Don’t get caught up in the “right way” to show your affection, just know the world and all the creators in it, needs all the love you can give, so open up that heart of yours and beam.