The Bachelor Party Extravaganza
Figured I'd do a quick write-up about my brother's bachelor party. I know some of you aren't into the whole drinking-and-partying thing, which is cool (heck, I'm getting too old to do it anymore... more on that), but I thought maybe some of you would get a chuckle out of the shenanigans.
We held the bachelor party at my aunt's cottage, the same place that my brother and his fiancee are getting married (we were supposed to do the party in Niagara Falls and hit the casino, but things fell through). I arrived early on Friday to do some set-up, and to remove some of the more breakable items from the living room and kitchen. My aunt was there, leaving me last minute notes, so I go to see her and her new puppy. Unrelated to the party story, but the puppy is freakin' cute. Anyway, my cousin's husband, Chris, showed up to help me out, so we got things ready. He helped me set up photos of Katie (my brother's fiancee; yup, another Katie in the family) with word bubble captions (things like "Do you REALLY need another beer?" on the fridge, and "I'm not really in the mood tonight" on the night stand next to the bed that my brother was going to sleep in), and we set up a drink cart near the door with a sign that said "One drink minimum to gain entry". People showed up way later than they said, so Chris and I just sat, drank, and talked, which was nice because I've never really gotten to know him all that well (we talk at family functions, but those are always so chaotic).
When people showed up, the drinks started flowing and we set up the Wii to play Mario Kart. Then a game of "Asshole" started up, a drinking game that I've never really been partial to, so I just watched (I was exhausted anyway). I went to bed before everyone, but it was for the best, since I really needed it.
The following morning we had a quick and easy breakfast and then headed out for 9 holes of golf. Of course, that was the day the weather decided to be rainy. So we trudged through the on-and-off rain, trying to have fun (I think we all did). I was in a threesome bringing up the rear with my dad and a friend of my brother's named Bill (really nice guy), and we decided on the 7th hole to call it quits. We were wet, the course was cheap, and we were only in it for the fun, so it was all right by us. The group split at that point - some of the folks wanted to hit a bar/grill nearby for lunch, which annoyed me because it upset the itinerary, there was food back at the cottage, and I had no money to spend anyway. But my dad and two other guys came back with me, so we just chilled out and drank some coffee before the others arrived. Then we did a little toasting ceremony for my brother with a really amazing scotch I picked up (Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban, for those who might be interested), and I brought out a notebook for people to write marriage advice in for my brother.
We had just started in on our poker tournament when the monkey wrench got thrown into the works. Rick, Chris's soon-to-be father-in-law, got the call that Katie and her mother were involved in a hit-and-run. They were both fine, other than minor whiplash and being shaken up, but the real problem is that Katie was involved in a really bad accident when she was sixteen. Rick and Rich (Katie's cousin) left, but Chris was encouraged to stay until he heard otherwise. He got sporadic updates via text, and things seemed to be okay for a bit, until Katie started to get PTSD shake-ups. So my mom came out to get Chris, and the rest of us continued on in his honor (not like any of us could have driven by that point anyway). We grilled up tons of food, and I got to make the infamous Twinkie-weiner-sandwich from Weird Al's movie "UHF" (you use a Twinkie as a bun for a hot dog and then add spray cheese on top).
The rest of the night was just eating and drinking and watching stupid videos on YouTube. At some point, I crossed over the line from pleasantly drunk to "where am I?" I wasn't even planning on it. And, in fact, after a little bit of being like that, I desperately wanted to be sober again. It didn't happen, despite the tons of water I drank. I thought some food might help, but we ended up forgetting about the mozzarella sticks we had put into the oven, resulting in the cheese oozing out of the "sticks" and leaving them hollow (and the cheese hardened). So I ended up passing out on my bed (again, before anyone else).
The following morning I awoke to one of the more insistent hangovers I've managed to get. Our friend Brendon cooked up a really big breakfast, and I downed as much coffee, water, and Gatorade as I could while eating eggs, potatoes, bacon, sausage, and cinnamon buns. We had "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" playing in the background, which was good for some exhausted chuckles. Then came the not-so-fun part - clean-up. Brendon stayed for a bit, but then it was just me and my dad. Kinda figured that'd be the case, but it would have been nice is SOMEONE else had stayed.
All-in-all, it was a great party and my brother enjoyed what he had been present for. As for me, I'm pretty much convinced - and I know EVERYONE says this after a night of drinking like that, but I'm pretty certain of this - that I'm not going to let myself go that far again. Partly because I hate feeling like crap the next day, partly because I don't want to feel that loss of control again, and partly because of three pictures of me that ended up on my camera that I had no memory of. Here's one:
