serenity now

[roobusta]

So much has happened in the past year and a half and though my heart is still on track my head doesn't seem to fit anywhere. It's ok though, I think we all have a path and whatever happens, I feel like I'm at least headed somewhere. Even if that somewhere is something out of sight. I'm moving back to Phoenix in a week. I don't know what I'm going to do or what's going to happen but it has to be done. I can't be here anymore and it's time to go. I'm going to miss the nights spent along the coast with the windows down and the music, always the music. Somthing about seeing the birght lights stop at the dark edge of the ocean puts me at peace but fills me with some kind of meloncholy. It's beautiful and heart wrenching all at once. Some days I feel like twenty two is too old to change anything, other days I feel like I'm so young that I have all the time in the world to get things straight. Regardless I can't find a place for my head to rest. Night drives throught the desert seemed so endless, you could see everything you ever wanted to see in the stars and the lonliness flared and subsided all at once. It's still the music that guides me, that keeps my head in the clouds and the dreams alive. Life never seems like it's enough, but it's always so overwhelming. I wish there was a plausible easy-out. So much has happened and so much still has to happen. There's this emptiness that I've carried for a very long time, and everytime it's filled it's emptied again. I need to find love. That's always been my strength and my greatest weakness. Whatever happens, as long as I can still hear, and I'm listening, I'll still be breathing.

By the way, get the new Dredg album. It will open your eyes.