(no subject)
It's the end of the day, the sun's going down. It takes me home sometimes. Other times I set with it and I don't think I'll ever rise again. It's been one of those months. I like listening to songs I know were written by someone for themselves. You can hear how they were feeling when they were writing the song. What a great expression of yourself, it makes you not only understand how they felt, but it makes you feel that way too so you can experience it. I also like watching people draw, to see their representation of something that exists only in their mind. It's like peeking through a window into a place you could never fathom. When I feel down, I contemplate random stuff. Like why certain things are or were. Normally they have nothing to do with why I'm down. Things just feel kind of misplaced. I know that's a weird way to put it, but it's like things were good and then somehow I just lost what was good. I know it's still there, a breath away, but I don't know where to look. Sometimes I come home from work and sit on my couch and think to myself, "this doesn't feel like my life." Like I'm being steered by someone else to whatever destination the day happens to hold. Maybe I could change it but I wouldn't know where to begin. I guess I just hate routine but I'm afraid of change. What a catch-22. I miss having someone to tell this stuff to. I can't do it over the phone, it doesn't work. The friends I have out here aren't on that level yet so I'm stuck with this. It's nice cause I can edit it but then it's not quite as fulfilling. (i think i spelled that wrong, oh well) I think I just need things in my life other than walls, traffic and work. (i.e. people) Now where can I find some in a city of 3 million? Damn near impossible, no joke. Oh well, a random post about random stuff. peace