[fic] The Great Pantomime
I was trying to figure out what Shisui could have been doing for Madara in The Burning of Paper Instead of Children. Anyway, this story isn’t it, but it was way more fun to write. It should either make you laugh or creep you out - if it does both, I'd be very chuffed.
Title: The Great Pantomime
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Madara/Shisui
Summary: A ( Read more... )
Title: The Great Pantomime
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Madara/Shisui
Summary: A ( Read more... )
Madara can tell him that this desolation is nothing compared to, say, the golden, sun-washed desert, where the sand is fine like white sugar and the hot wind scoops up the sun and pours it down on the terrifyingly flat landscape. The clear blue sky is merciless to new outcasts who trudge to the summit of the tallest sand dune, tear off their armors and throw their arms wide open to scream at its bottomless face, IS THERE NOTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO TAKE?
Oh my god deserts and you paint with words so well, I could quote that whole section back at you.
It calls up within him wisps of memory, of other men that he has known, but one by one they have sunken into the earth, and now no one remembers their names but him.
This is so morbid and depressing and you make me think of Madara like I've never really bothered to before.
and quietly crawls toward him, hands and knees.
a;lskdfj;af;jalsdkjfa; is it wrong that I was stuck on this line for ages replaying the scene, there's just something about the way you write it; he's fifteen and it's not right but nothing's right -- but like I said you paint with your words so well, it's eyecatching and I can't look away.
Every night before they go to bed, Madara removes the capsule from Shisui’s red, obedient mouth, and every morning, he carefully places it back inside again, in an endlessly repeated cycle of cruelty and tenderness.
THIS IS TERRIBLE THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO UNHEALTHY (hello understatement) and also utterly heartwrenching. :( :(
Strength leaks from his dehydrated cotton bones, and with it: joy. Every shred of muscle holds a nameless ache.
Everything that crumbles is a thing of (terrifying) beauty in your hands.
All the hopeless gestures that could be loosely categorized under waiting, because that is what waiting looks like.
ITACHI guh brb I need to go get my heart mended.
It creeped me out, made me want to laugh in the way I imagine you would want to laugh when you come home to an empty house every day, and also it kind of made me want to cry WHY DO YOU DO THIS. ;_;
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A lot of the inner!Madara monologue in this fic is carryover from my first Madara-centric fic, in which he fucked over a whole bunch of people. Amazingly, I think somehow he's even more twisted here. More... concentrated. Ew.
Shisui was originally going to be even YOUNGER. I aged him up, because even I couldn't write about the seduction of a twelve-year-old or something. So skeevy .__. There is an entire tradition in Naruto, though, where young boys are picked up by older men to be used as tools (Haku, Kimamaro - both of whom should have made cameos in this fic, actually), which goes to show that if you're found young enough, it doesn't really matter if your beloved is a good person or not. According to Kishimoto anyway. Dude, that is pretty fucked up.
Well, it made... me laugh? I was cracking up while writing most of the first half, but admittedly when I got to the last sections I became kind of depressed. Bipolar fic is bipolar.
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I disagree, I totally needed to read it!
There is an entire tradition in Naruto, though, where young boys are picked up by older men to be used as tools
Oh yes, definitely. Or you know, babies are used as containers for horrific beasts. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA.
I think the way you draw forth your readers' emotions is amazing. :)
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