The Tapestry of the Red Horse: Chapter 9
- December 23 - 1997 - Seventh Year -
I was still angry at myself for letting Draco get to me and Harry and I had stopped speaking. Hermione was fluttering around us like a nervous bird, prodding us to speak again. Neither of us had told her what the fight was about and not knowing only drove her harder towards trying for peace. Malfoy was working at Harry with more fervor than ever and had taken to shoving me into walls, fondling me, and whispering suggestive demands in my ear whenever the mood struck him, which wasn't often, but enough to annoy me. It only became hard to push him away on the days that I did not see him draped across Pug-face and or speaking to Ginny. I had been sitting, curled up in my chair by the fire with my muggle studies book when I heard the swoosh of the tapestry. My head shot up, panicked that I was cornered by Draco, but I was shocked to see Harry standing on the last step, the Maurader's Map in his hand. He was looking at me curiously.
"When did you find this place?" His voice was soft and almost cautious.
"I didn't, Draco did. This is where we meet. I wanted some quiet."
He looked around with a look I couldn't read, "You've... with him... here?"
"Almost exclusively, yes. No one comes here but the house elves and that's only because Draco tells them to."
He nodded, his eyes falling on the couch that was slowly growing smaller every week. Draco would have to do the stretching spell again if he wanted it to remain a couch. "I don't like that you're.. Er, with him. Or were... Or whatever..."
"I'm not going to apologize for being with him. It was my choice."
"You didn't let me finish. I don't like it, but I'm going to accept it. You're my best friend and if it makes you happy, then that should be enough."
I smiled to myself, "Thank you. That makes me feel a little better."
"Can we start talking again, then? ‘Cause Hermione's driving me nutters and I don't think I can survive another history without you." He gave me a tentative smile.
I smiled back and pointed to the chair in the corner that Draco and I had never touched before. "Want some tea?"
He summoned the chair next to mine and sat, "Sure. This place is pretty comfortable."
"I know. I've been coming here to think a lot lately. It's calming when Draco isn't here."
"Does he show up a lot?"
"I don't think he knows I've been coming here. He'd show up otherwise."
"So you aren't..." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and glanced at the cup of tea that appeared for him before taking it up.
I took his meaning and shook my head. "No, no, I'm not. More avoiding him than anything. I wouldn't be here if I thought he'd show up. He's only done that once when we didn't plan it and.." I shivered at the memory, but took a calming breath and relaxed at it just being a memory. "I'd rather not talk about it."
He seemed to be surveying me, but then he smiled, "Good. He's horrible for you, anyways. I think it'd be a good idea to find you someone non-violent. Perhaps someone that isn't a Deatheater?"
I grinned and nudged his arm, "Bastard."
"Then should I start probing for possibilities immediately?" He was grinning, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
I returned the grin, "You can if you want. I doubt you'll find anyone though."
His grin turned conspiratorial, "I think I'll be able to find someone. You're pretty hot, for a bloke."
I smirked and shoved his shoulder, "Shut it, you'll make me blush."
- January 10 - 1998 - Seventh Year -
Harry had been eyeing me all day with this peculiar gleam in his eye that told me he was up to something. After sitting through History of Magic balancing his glances and Malfoy's suggestive facial expressions; almost being attacked by a disgruntled Pourmer Dure sapling in Herbology because of Harry's inattentiveness of the task at hand, only avoiding the plant thanks to Justin Finch-Fletchly's quick hand; and spending an entire lunch listening to Hermione lecture about being responsible with my brothers' samples while Harry only watched me with an impish grin, I had had it.
"What have you been gawping at me all day about, Harry? You're going to make me nutters if you don't stop with that smirk."
He grinned and then tried to play as though he hadn't, shoving a slice of bread in his mouth. "I haven't been gawping at you all day. You're imagining things."
"Am not. Now out with it. What are you scheming?"
"Now, honestly, Ron, what would give you the idea that your best friend was scheming against you?"
"You've got that glint in your eye. Now out with it."
He surveyed me for a moment before sighing and grinning again, "Oh all right. I found out something last night that I think you might be interested to know."
"And that is?"
"According to a very reliable Irishman," He flashed a look at Seamus, "who heard it from a Ravenclaw who heard it from a Hufflepuff who happens to be the person's best friend, there's a Hufflepuff seventh-year that fancies you." His grin widened as he eyed my reaction over his pumpkin juice.
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Someone fancies Ron? Who then?"
I nodded in agreement with her and turned back to Harry, "Yes, who then?"
Harry only bit back his ever-widening grin, "I promised I'd keep mum, but there's no harm in guessing."
He received twin glares from Hermione and I. "Hannah Abbot?" Hermione asked and my eyes pleaded with Harry for her to have the wrong gender. He winked back and shook his head.
"Nope, not a girl."
"Not a girl? Why are you so giddy then? Ron doesn't fancy boys."
I heard a snort down the table from Dean and Seamus spit out his pumpkin juice before trying to hide his snickers from her. Harry and I exchanged a look, "Um… 'Mione… Remember that talk we had a couple weeks ago?"
She looked at me blankly for a minute then her eyes went wide and she started smacking me, "That's why you didn't fancy me?! Because you fancy boys?! Why didn't you tell me before?! Could have saved me a lot of stress! Silly prat!"
I tried to fend her off as best I could, "I'm sorry, I thought you understood when I said I was more attracted to someone like Frank! Relax, Merlin, stop smacking me!"
"I thought you meant Francine Milton! How was I supposed to know you meant a boy? It's not like it's a natural conclusion to make when your best friend is telling you he can't date you because he's more attracted to someone else that that someone else is his gender!"
"'Mione, please, you're going to make a scene. Relax, I'm sorry, I thought you'd get it. I didn't even know Francine Milton goes by Frank and she's a Slytherin anyway!"
"How was I supposed to know that?"
I sighed and rubbed my temples, "I don't know, Hermione. I'm not exactly used to telling people I'm gay and especially not you. Forgive me for a being a bit awkward about it."
She looked a bit put out, but relaxed finally and settled back to eating, "It's fine, just be a bit more clear next time."
I eyed her and bit my lip, "Are you ok with it, though?"
She sighed and then gave me a half-smile, "Yes, of course. I suspected a little bit, but I wasn't sure."
"You suspected? I'm obvious?"
"No, you just look at boys a little more than a normal bloke would, not noticeable if you aren't looking."
"Oh."
"Right, if Hermione doesn't have anymore objections, back to the subject at hand." I had almost forgotten what we'd been talking about in the stress of thinking Hermione might not accept me. Harry was impatiently tapping his fork on his plate.
"Right then, back to the Hufflepuff. He's a seventh year? Is he in herbology?" I began glancing down the line of Hufflepuffs , trying to determine who it could be.
"Yes, he's most definitely in herbology."
"Zacharias?" Harry looked affronted. "Thomas?" Denied. "Frederick?" Denied. "Alexis?" Denied. I looked over the Hufflepuff table once more and my eyes fell on Justin Finch-Fletchly, the boy who saved me from the vicious thrashing by the Pourmer Dure earlier that day. He was talking to a few other people, but then our eyes met and a small smile curled onto his lips. I smiled back and turned to Harry, "Justin." It wasn't a question because I knew before his eyes changed to that shade of green just shy of the grass after a rainstorm.
"Justin Finch-Fletchly fancies Ron? But he's not even gay! Is he?"
"Apparently, and not only that, but very smitten. Seamus heard he talks about you all the time."
"Really?" I snuck another glance at the Hufflepuff table and Justin was laughing again. Something fluttered inside me, not the same as the hoard of snitches I got when looking at Malfoy, but it was something. He was attractive and sweet, and his nose crinkled when he laughed. And he fancied me. Hmm.
- January 16 - 1998 - Seventh Year -
I stayed in the shadows for a few days, watching Justin and Draco and allowing my thoughts to mend themselves into a decision. Draco had taken to leaning over Ginny's shoulder and murmuring in her ear, his eyes trained on me with the faintly vindictive little smirk. I didn't mind it, knowing that Ginny took no interest in his showering attention. She had mentioned something about him while we were visiting the twins, who were now so successful, they'd managed a second shop in Hogsmeade. Their reaction had been violent protestation, and in an act so completely unlike them, threatened a letter not only to Dad, but to Bill and Charlie as well, and that took all thought of how sweet Draco could be right out of her head.
So Draco flirted with little success and I found two new, shiny boxes on my pillow, one three days after the first, and two notes requesting meetings that I did not attend.
Justin was all smiles, all the time, and his laughter filled almost every room he was in. I never noticed how bubbly he could be until I started watching. I liked it, that he was always happy, always willing to throw a grin at you, even if he had no reason for it. It was a definite change of pace from Malfoy, and with the way Malfoy continued to shamelessly flirt with my sister and the rumors about him and anyone he could find that he made sure got back to me, I definitely needed to take a step in another direction.
Nearing a decision, I crawled in bed with Harry one night to have a talk. He had had another nightmare and it had involved Lupin and my dad, and though I was worried, I did my best to comfort him. Some time before I had turned into my mother and had taken to rubbing his back in a soothing way to try to get him back to sleep. He tried to play as though the dreams did not bother him and that he wasn't worried about the battle that Dumbledore seemed to think would happen sooner rather than later, but I knew him too well to be fooled by his cool exterior. I knew he wasn't allowing himself to sleep again and had taken it upon myself to get him to comply with his body's drowsiness. If the other guys had not started putting silencing spells over their beds, they'd probably think I wanted to get in his trousers, but there was nothing sexual in my crawling in bed with him. Harry was slowly working his way into brother status, and sometime during the previous summer, he'd taken to calling my mum ‘Mum', so no, there was nothing sexual about it.
I forced him to lie down once more and ran fingers through his hair as he settled into the covers. He let out a contented sigh as I began to rub his back and his eyes closed instinctively. "Harry?" There was a mumbled acknowledgment. "Can I talk to you about something?" Another mumble. "I think I want to ask Justin to go to Hogsmeade with me."
"So you like him, then?" His voice was hoarse from the screaming he'd woken up from, but it sounded hopeful nonetheless.
"Yeah, I think I do. I've been watching him, and he's always so happy and friendly. I think I'd like to be with someone that actually smiles to show me they're happy to see me and not just smirks and throws an insult."
"Good, I told you the slimy git was no good for you. Glad you're going for someone that's actually going to treat you nicely." He smiled up at me and I poked him in the back of the head.
"Shut up, Malfoy isn't all bad. He could be gentle and loving, it just took an orgasm or two and a traumatic event or a threat." He snorted, but I pretended not to hear him. "And that brings us to Malfoy. I don't know how he's going to react to me dating someone. What if he kills him?"
"He won't kill him. He won't even touch him."
"You don't know him like I do. He gets possessive at the slightest sign that I have interaction with another bloke. He used to get so angry when I'd come down in your clothes on accident. He thought we were shagging for the longest time.." I started smiling slightly at the memory of his kisses when I denied that I was shagging anyone else.
Harry wrinkled his nose, "What are you smiling about? That isn't amusing."
"Sorry, I was just thinking about.. Nevermind. You don't want to know."
He gave an exasperated sigh, "Ron, I'm not going to shag you no matter how hot you think I am."
I snorted, "I'm sorry Harry. I just can't help it. I mean, look at you."
"Bloody irresistible, I know. But you can't have me."
"And now you've gone and crushed al my dreams..."
"You'll get over it." He patted my knee affectionately and burrowed into the blankets.
I shook the goofy grin off my face, "We've got off subject. What do I do when Draco finds out? Either Justin or I will end up in the hospital wing. Do I want to subject him to that? I mean, Draco can hurt me all he wants, I'm used to leaving him with bruises, but Justin.."
Harry looked stern and a little sad, "Ron, do you like Justin?"
"Yeah, I already told you that."
"Then just ask him. Fuck Malfoy, he's already done enough damage to you. Don't let him stand in the way of your happiness anymore. He's not worth it."
"I know..." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, scratching the back of my neck. I couldn't help myself from thinking that maybe Draco wasn't standing in the way of my happiness, maybe he was my happiness. But Harry would have reacted violently to that, so I just nodded and went back to rubbing his back.
- January 19 - 1998 - Seventh Year -
Justin and I were standing outside the grounds of the Shrieking Shack, hand-in-hand, fumbling over conversation. I was so nervous my palms were sweating despite the freezing temperatures and I was worried that he might notice. "That save against Warrington where you did the loop thing was brilliant. We were all singing with the Gryffindors. Even Zacharias said you did well and you know what he thinks of you and Harry."
I smiled and tried not to blush. He was gushing about the Quidditch game against Slytherin we'd played the weekend before. Just the thought of someone besides my mum gushing about my Keeper skills made my ears go red, let alone Justin actually doing it, but there it was, and I wanted to kiss him so badly. My eyes could not stray from his lips for more than a moment at a time. The urge had over-taken me when he turned to face me, slight grin on his face. I looked from his lips to his eyes and took a step closer, nervous. I'd never kissed anyone but Malfoy and I was certainly never allowed to initiate anything with him, so this was certainly new territory. "Would you mind… if I…" He froze, swallowing audibly, and for a moment I thought he might turn away. My nerve began to slip, but then he smiled again and nodded consent. I took the extra necessary step and after a few agonizingly slow inches, our mouths melted together. My world turned upside-down. This was amazing, mind-altering, on the same level as a kiss from Draco, but without the bruising or biting. And it was slow at first, tentative. Tongues were only brought in after what felt like hours. My free hand slid in place against his waist, holding him to me. He tasted like apple cider and cinnamon. He dropped my hand and cupped my face in his palms, his fingers playing with the hair at the nape of my neck.
His fingers in my hair was turning me on and I had to pull away before the temptation to strip him and have my wicked way with him became too strong. He was not Draco. This had to be taken slowly and treated delicately. His grin at me was wide when we parted lips and I couldn't help but grin back. "Want to go get a butterbeer?"
"I could go for a butterbeer, yeah."
I disentangled from him and took his hand and we headed for the Three Broomsticks. Once inside, I was faced with a dilemma. Harry, Hermione, Neville, and a few other members of the DA were sitting at a table together. Did Justin want to sit with them or find our own table? This was a date… Is it acceptable to sit with mutual friends when you're on a date? I remember Harry saying Cho went mental when he suggested meeting up with people. Would Justin? But the only free table was next to Malfoy's and I shuddered to think what his reaction to Justin was going to be.
Enough of the internal struggle. I turned to Justin. He had been surveying the seating arrangements as well, but turned and smiled when I looked at him. "Want to sit with them? Or would you rather…" He looked nervously at the table next to Malfoy and I saw a flash of something akin to dislike in his eyes. He knew sitting next to him would be a bad idea without even having to know about Draco and I's history.
I returned his smile and squeezed his hand, "With them is good." Harry was grinning from ear to ear as we pulled two chairs over to join the group. He turned to whisper something to Hermione as the others greeted us, but she only rolled her eyes and elbowed his side in return.
Neville brought us up to speed with their conversation and we fell in with them. When Madame Rosmerta came over, I paid for the drinks and Justin beamed at me. I just smiled and took his hand under the table while continuing the conversation. The rest of the afternoon went by pleasantly and I got a goodbye kiss and a glimpse of the Hufflepuff common room when it was over.
Back in the tower, I found a stuffed lion on my pillow, a toy dagger piercing its heart and its head ripped from its body, the stuffing charmed red to resemble blood oozing from its severed neck.