Think of christmas, think of snow
I'm in a weird mood right now. I feel very girly? I don't know if that's the word I want. I keep thinking of babies, a making dinner, grocery shopping and movie nights. All the fun Things me and BIlly will do when we're married. And I'm thinking about dirty dishes, unfinished laundry, being alone in the house and not spending time with me. All the things we'll fight about.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I get really scared. I wonder what will happen when he gets mad at me and can't go home. I wonder how I'll handle it when he plays league and I want to go out. When he won't change diapers because the game is on. I get scared I'll want to leave and I won't be able to.
But most of the time I know we'll be perfect. He'll buy me flowers because it's tuesday and my old ones have died. We'll dinner and eat at the table and talk about our day. He'll come home and kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful. We'll stay up all night doing the opposite of sleeping.
There's still 6 months, less than 200 days. It seems so far away and so close at the same time. I've wanted a family and a someone who loves me this much for so long and it still doesn't feel real. I can't wait. I miss him. Is it tomorrow yet?
Sometimes, just sometimes, I get really scared. I wonder what will happen when he gets mad at me and can't go home. I wonder how I'll handle it when he plays league and I want to go out. When he won't change diapers because the game is on. I get scared I'll want to leave and I won't be able to.
But most of the time I know we'll be perfect. He'll buy me flowers because it's tuesday and my old ones have died. We'll dinner and eat at the table and talk about our day. He'll come home and kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful. We'll stay up all night doing the opposite of sleeping.
There's still 6 months, less than 200 days. It seems so far away and so close at the same time. I've wanted a family and a someone who loves me this much for so long and it still doesn't feel real. I can't wait. I miss him. Is it tomorrow yet?