dreams & self pity

[ronnoestaaqui]

i was asleep @ the time so this dream was amazing....until i woke up, convinced myself that it was real & was never going to happen. we pass eachother w/out a word. we glance ocassionally but never a word. so when i went to sleep i had a dream that...well, first, i had told a friend to tell him something for me. my dream: my friends & i were going to a renaissance festival that they were having @ my school (???) & it didn't start until after lunch so we were gonna skip the first part of school & go in the afternoon. i woke up early because i had some homework to finish. i drug myself out of bed & into the computer room 2 start typing. as soon as i got to the computer there he was, standing outside the window (& the window was open). so i pulled him up into the room (no idea how). he said that he had heard what i had told my friend to tell him & that he made a huge mistake & he wanted to start over, or something along those lines. it was about 3 in the am & he stayed until about 1130 when he had to go to work. we talked the whole time, & watched tv. then something weird happened @ the renaissance fest but that's not really important.

so why does he get to break my heart & get somebody, & i try to be his friend & i get "nothin?" & y does everyone else get the option of so many guys while i, once again, get to sit on the sidelines & watch? these r rhetorical ?s by the way, i'm not expecting an answer. i guess taht patience thing comes into play again. & i have to accept who i am & know that i can't change it, learn to have confidence in myself, & not care what everyone else thinks. "welcome to the real world. it sux. you're gonna love it!"

~danyelle~