Sleeping Pills And You
Many of you know that I live my life in a constant state of low-level sleep deprivation. The middle of the night is the only time that I truly feel is my own, when no one will make any demands of me, so I try to make it last as long as possible. The result is I often get 4 to 6 hours of sleep per night when I need a minimum of 7 to be properly rested. During my last trip to my meds doctor last week I finally broke down and got a prescription for some sleep aids. It's the generic form of Ambien. They warn you to take it, go right to bed, and not try and do anything else. It's well known that if you force yourself to stay awake under it's influence Ambien can have some very narcotic effects. (You see this coming, don't you?)
Night before last I took one Ambien, as prescribed, but then kept puttering around on my computer researching steampunk costumey stuff. I felt lightheaded and a little loopy but I preferred to keep surfing. Somehow I rode through the Ambien high, came out the other side, and still wanted to read Web stuff. I ended up staying awake all night with maybe a 20 minute nap around 9 or 10 in the morning. Then I worked a full day, came home, and finished making some pretty cool looking steampunk goggles. (Pictures later)
Once the goggles were finished last night, I decided to take TWO Ambien before I got on the computer. My reasoning was that I'd get so sleepy I'd be forced to go to bed. I checked e-mail and started web-surfing (I think leatherwork). I only have Harmoni's report for most of what happened next. As I talked to her and surfed she noticed me making less sense than usual and slurring my words. I said something about Wonder Woman, seeing diamond shapes as part of the structure of everything that's been built, and apparently, I thought there was another couple in the living room with us. Harmoni decided enough was enough and made me get up and had to help me to the bedroom. I was so unsteady on my feet that I had to lean on her and she says I fell once and kept babbling in a slurred voice. In my drugged state I knew I was loopy but I had no real concept of just how far gone I was. I tried to hop on one foot to see if I still could. She wouldn't let me walk up and down the hallway unassisted to test my remaining coordination. Basically, I was trying to do a field sobriety test on myself.
This morning I woke in the loose houseclothes I normally wear to bop around in. Harmoni looked a little concerned at first but relaxed when she saw that "I" was back when I woke up. She then related the story. I told her that would've been the time to ask me anything she wanted. She said she was afraid to lest I reveal some horrible truth that she didn't know about me or I say something hurtful to her. I can see myself babbling about how beautiful she is or something like that, not something cruel. This morning when I went into the medicine cabinet for deodorant, the bottle of Ambien sat on the shelf. Rather, it lurked. For the first time I felt a little touch of fear about a medication. I suppose it's the healthy fear one should have for a loaded gun.
If you should have to take a prescription sleep aid like Ambien, and if you ever get the harebrained idea to take a double dose, read this very carefully:
PUT THE DAMNED BOTTLE DOWN and slowly back away. To sum up last night's experience, I took the double dose of Ambien expecting to be gently but firmly eased to sleep. Instead I got...
Me: Oh, Ambien. You're my friend aren't you? Even now I feel your warm embrace easing me into Morpheus's sweet land of dreams. Hmmmm!
Ambien: SHUDDUP, BITCH!! *SMACK* You MY bitch now!
Me: I don't understand. I thought you'd take care of me.
Ambien: Oh, I'm gon' take care'a you, all right! Git down on yo knees, ho! I'mo drive you around like a toy car and you ain' even gon' remember it. Say,"beep-beep", bitch! Vrooom-vroom, muthufuckaaah!
---------------
I don't think I'll do that again tonight.
Night before last I took one Ambien, as prescribed, but then kept puttering around on my computer researching steampunk costumey stuff. I felt lightheaded and a little loopy but I preferred to keep surfing. Somehow I rode through the Ambien high, came out the other side, and still wanted to read Web stuff. I ended up staying awake all night with maybe a 20 minute nap around 9 or 10 in the morning. Then I worked a full day, came home, and finished making some pretty cool looking steampunk goggles. (Pictures later)
Once the goggles were finished last night, I decided to take TWO Ambien before I got on the computer. My reasoning was that I'd get so sleepy I'd be forced to go to bed. I checked e-mail and started web-surfing (I think leatherwork). I only have Harmoni's report for most of what happened next. As I talked to her and surfed she noticed me making less sense than usual and slurring my words. I said something about Wonder Woman, seeing diamond shapes as part of the structure of everything that's been built, and apparently, I thought there was another couple in the living room with us. Harmoni decided enough was enough and made me get up and had to help me to the bedroom. I was so unsteady on my feet that I had to lean on her and she says I fell once and kept babbling in a slurred voice. In my drugged state I knew I was loopy but I had no real concept of just how far gone I was. I tried to hop on one foot to see if I still could. She wouldn't let me walk up and down the hallway unassisted to test my remaining coordination. Basically, I was trying to do a field sobriety test on myself.
This morning I woke in the loose houseclothes I normally wear to bop around in. Harmoni looked a little concerned at first but relaxed when she saw that "I" was back when I woke up. She then related the story. I told her that would've been the time to ask me anything she wanted. She said she was afraid to lest I reveal some horrible truth that she didn't know about me or I say something hurtful to her. I can see myself babbling about how beautiful she is or something like that, not something cruel. This morning when I went into the medicine cabinet for deodorant, the bottle of Ambien sat on the shelf. Rather, it lurked. For the first time I felt a little touch of fear about a medication. I suppose it's the healthy fear one should have for a loaded gun.
If you should have to take a prescription sleep aid like Ambien, and if you ever get the harebrained idea to take a double dose, read this very carefully:
PUT THE DAMNED BOTTLE DOWN and slowly back away. To sum up last night's experience, I took the double dose of Ambien expecting to be gently but firmly eased to sleep. Instead I got...
Me: Oh, Ambien. You're my friend aren't you? Even now I feel your warm embrace easing me into Morpheus's sweet land of dreams. Hmmmm!
Ambien: SHUDDUP, BITCH!! *SMACK* You MY bitch now!
Me: I don't understand. I thought you'd take care of me.
Ambien: Oh, I'm gon' take care'a you, all right! Git down on yo knees, ho! I'mo drive you around like a toy car and you ain' even gon' remember it. Say,"beep-beep", bitch! Vrooom-vroom, muthufuckaaah!
---------------
I don't think I'll do that again tonight.