I'm starting the new year with a funeral.
I just found out my mom's boyfriend of 19 years passed away today. I use the term "boyfriend" because she and Earl never legally married and did not represent themselves on any official documents as spouses. However, when you live in an intimate relationship with someone for almost 20 years, they're your de-facto spouse.
Some dipshit, aggressive, asshole driver ran him off the road in late October or early November (don't recall) while he was driving mom's Jeep SUV (she wasn't there, thankfully). The SUV rolled and Earl was never the same. The driver got away because the witnesses stopped to see if the victim was okay and never got the perp's license plate. Earl had trouble walking for days and one day, a few weeks ago he just collapsed. They took him to the hospital in Dallas where they live and then to a nursing home in San Antonio (near his adult children). he suffered a series of mini-strokes in the nursing home. He was conscious but very weak and lost the ability to swallow, so they had the poor man on a feeding tube. I'd planned to get time off in the next week or two to go see him. He developed a high fever this weekend. My mom had to go back up to Dallas to take my brother back to his group home (autistic) and got snowed in before she could get back down. Earl's blood pressure crashed this afternoon and then his heart stopped. They were never able to revive him.
So. Yeah. Mom is having to prepare a funeral. I'm stuck here at work without much time off I can take to just go and be with her and help her out however I can. I'll weasle whatever time I can, though, I can tell you that.
I just spoke with her less than 30 minutes before writing this, so I've only just heard the news and I'm still processing it. Earl was such a sweet and gentle man. I always though Mom traded up when she met him after divorcing my dad. I never even got to know him as well as I would've liked.
I think I always assumed there'd be time.
There's never enough time.
Some dipshit, aggressive, asshole driver ran him off the road in late October or early November (don't recall) while he was driving mom's Jeep SUV (she wasn't there, thankfully). The SUV rolled and Earl was never the same. The driver got away because the witnesses stopped to see if the victim was okay and never got the perp's license plate. Earl had trouble walking for days and one day, a few weeks ago he just collapsed. They took him to the hospital in Dallas where they live and then to a nursing home in San Antonio (near his adult children). he suffered a series of mini-strokes in the nursing home. He was conscious but very weak and lost the ability to swallow, so they had the poor man on a feeding tube. I'd planned to get time off in the next week or two to go see him. He developed a high fever this weekend. My mom had to go back up to Dallas to take my brother back to his group home (autistic) and got snowed in before she could get back down. Earl's blood pressure crashed this afternoon and then his heart stopped. They were never able to revive him.
So. Yeah. Mom is having to prepare a funeral. I'm stuck here at work without much time off I can take to just go and be with her and help her out however I can. I'll weasle whatever time I can, though, I can tell you that.
I just spoke with her less than 30 minutes before writing this, so I've only just heard the news and I'm still processing it. Earl was such a sweet and gentle man. I always though Mom traded up when she met him after divorcing my dad. I never even got to know him as well as I would've liked.
I think I always assumed there'd be time.
There's never enough time.