The Scene is Set, The Stage is Lit, and Intermission Has Ended!
Take 2.
It is pretty amazing to me what can happen after a simple night’s rest in the comfort of a warm bed in the middle of winter. Then again, it’s amazing to simply get a good night’s sleep as things stand anyway. Alas, that’s just the way things seem to work these days.
So anyway, after the massive update for the first time in TWO YEARS, I find myself with a desire to continue writing about how things stand. Don’t ask me why, really, I just do for once. Much like with the Muses that get me writing in the creative sense, I just follow the flow and let it happen as things come into my mind.
Ash leaves on Saturday. That’s going to hurt the entire atmosphere around the flat for the final week that I am at Murdoch University’s student village. I really don’t know if Javaid will be about with his own hookah pipe…it would be awesome if he does, but I cannot be sure. Otherwise…well…it will be boring as all hell around here. Guess I’ll head into Freo and spend the last dredges of my cash if Javaid isn’t about. Still, Friday is going to be one hell of a blast once my Changing Economies of Asia exam is finally over. Probably going to be a repeat of Triple Crown night. HELL YES! Lord knows that I will love that. Even if I need to drain the last of my cash in order to afford the drinks in order to have the total blast of the repeat party night.
Otherwise…let’s see…under the two week mark of my time here now. I’m sad because of it. Seriously. Two weeks is not enough time for what I still have left to do. Well…maybe I don’t have that much to go and do which would have been ‘obtainable’ at this point. Luella brought up a very, very good point earlier around the hookah as she took a study break. I really should have aimed for an Australian relationship while I was here. Regrets. Meh. I don’t really have time to dwell on them right now, though I know I will be hurting from them during the reacclimation process back home. Then again, back home has quite a few lovely ladies as well that I ought to get back in touch with.
One of them might just be Jess. Screw how the relationship went back then, I owe her at least civil conversation and a friendship that should at least be warm enough. Don’t think I can avoid being at least a tad bit sweet on her if the friendship gets off the ground. Attraction and affection never do seem to leave my system despite after break-ups. No matter how harmful they seemed at the time. Again, meh. I don’t have time for regrets.
Then there is Katey. I’ve been meaning to get back in touch with her for a long time anyway, long before I came to Australia at that. Old desires that I never acted upon are just as strong these days as they were back in the high school era of time. Not that she was around then…I still don’t know why she didn’t come to St. Joseph’s Catholic/High School, but at least she didn’t see me at my worst. The pacifist tension shit. Grah, that was not a good time for me, but that is thankfully far into the past. No more passive aggressive extremism for me, thank you. I’ll admit my feelings and be quite aggressive in defending myself if I have to be.
Still, looking at how things stand…I’m game to experiment and try to break out of the complacent shell that I usually am in with regards to how relationships are. I’ll still be happy even if I go through the remainder of my time at Wofford single, but it would be nice to have something more. I need the experience anyway, as it were. The Ph. D question *will* weight quite heavily upon myself if it comes down to ‘what happens after Graduation’ in terms of an active relationship. Who can blame me for wanting to come back to an amazing place like Perth anyway? Maybe I’ll bring ‘her’ over with me, or maybe I’ll wind up staying because of ‘her’, both are valid and likely possibilities if I do wind up in a relationship.
Hopeless romantic still? Pfft, not anymore I’m not. I’ll never outgrow the romantic attitude I have. I wouldn’t want to either, considering it is tied quite heavily in there with my Gentleman aspect that I try and maintain throughout thick and thin. Nothing like the South for cultivating it. Nothing like the South to surround myself with lovely ladies who I can compliment all day long regardless of my own relative social status to theirs.
So who else might I be interested in aiming for when I get back? That’s not as easy a question to ponder beyond the old aim. However…I’m still sweet on Lauren Satterfield. Shame on me, I know. Erica is too good a friend these days to try and go back into the High School desires. That, and she’s graduated, so lord knows where she will end up by the time the semester starts back up at home again. There’s always the ever-desirable Brooke…but I’m no longer quite so sure I even want to try and break that ice between us in anything beyond a friendship sense. It happens.
Its something to talk about with Mary Kate…it still amazes me that she is moving up to North Carolina with her boyfriend. I called it, though I never told *her* that. It makes me glad that I still have an accurate eye when it comes to the relationships of my friends at least…never mind that such a skill never has applied to my own needs for advice. Can’t step out of my thick skull I suppose. Makes me wonder just a bit of what is going on with Theresa too, but she’s never been much of the dating type up until this most recent boyfriend of hers. They are cute together though, so it may keep flying. I’d have to take a look at how things stand before I can comment on that. Too far from the sources involved in order to make a call there.
I’m just silly like that. Heh.
The ideas that continue to run through my head…permutations, chances, scenarios…they are what usually kills my attempts. I need to go beyond them to a state of no mind. Run on instinct. “Forgive. Too many mind,” as the line from The Last Samurai goes. Good movie that, same with Green Street Hooligans. Watched them both lately. Repeatedly in fact. Just goes to show I stick to my strengths in movie tastes at least. :P
Going back to family for a moment…I miss Claire and the others. Not in an intense need to see family kind of sense, but I really do enjoy mellowing out during the family get togethers. Left a note via Facebook to MK about that, actually. It’d be nice to get to see the entire brood as a welcome home thing…not to mention they owe me a twenty-first bash. “I’m not greedy, I’m just wanting a lot.” To hell with presents. Just give me the family getting together around some good food, a couple of beers for those of us of age, and a grand old good time. Maybe at Nancy’s place, considering Jack’s Alzheimer’s has taken a turn for the worst while I’ve been over here in Australia. Still, if he does remember who I am, it will be all the better.
Topic jump time…gotta hate losing the train of thought with the battery of the laptop dying on me and having to set it up to recharge. Actually, back to the returning home (possible) relationship hunt really. I was thinking…around the hookah, as seems to be the usual for me lately…if I do go back to one of those desirable femme fatales that I never got over, it would have to be Katey. Otherwise, I really ought to try and develop a new relationship from scratch. God knows how I will manage that one, considering the last involved Amy and was most assuredly not a good thing. Random interventions by the higher power aside, that will be an interesting challenge indeed. But one that my time here in Australia ought to have prepared me in a much better light for.
Go me…make things difficult on myself before the landing gear has even left Australian soil. I think too much, but it is how I have learned to dream so well. Vivid dreams that draw upon life’s experiences and the fantastical that only the imagination that I have been blessed with may provide. An imagination that’s gotten me into trouble before, but as I believe, just got to deal with the hand that life deals you and pull on through with whatever bluffing you have to do.
Back on the goodbye front, however…things just seem to get more difficult. The more I spend offbeat moments with Alexis, the harder the very idea of saying goodbye to her is becoming. It is very, very similar to the Lotus syndrome. Which is hard enough to explain on the general sense, without trying to get into the specifics…something that I personally think might be impossible to transfer from my mind onto paper. Or electronic notepads and journals, as the case may be. Suffice it to say, the strongest desires stem from attempting to obtain the entirely unobtainable. With the original Lotus Blossom, I was beaten to the punch by Nathan Mueller in asking her out. We grew one helluva lot closer as friends, and we have an amazing relationship as things stood back before I left for Australia. I really hate having missed her Graduation from Wofford, but she’ll understand. Heck, she supported me in the decision to head on over to Perth anyway when I had been debating whether or not I should pull this shin-dig off in the first place.
She’s a great girl, and I am sure she will find truer happiness than I might manage to scrape from the barrel of my existence on this world. Okay, fun and self-depreciating melodrama aside, she really will find happiness, and I will do anything she asks of me to see that through. Alexis…well…she’s the same. Knows when to listen, or rather, when someone really needs another to listen and help bare the burdens of life. That alone is a gift in and of itself that makes her desirable in my mind. On top of that she has beauty and personality…dear god it is the exact same syndrome. Right down to the ‘beaten to the punch’ bit, although in this case it was a relationship rekindled with her boyfriend back home. I’ll give him this much, he has one hell of a good romantic timing on things. And I have pretty shitty timing by extension. XD
At least I can laugh about it. Thank God for that much. Hidden strengths and reserves that I never expected I would have otherwise, a sign of personal growth from the fat butterball of a pacifist and hopeless romantic that I used to be.
GEEZ, do I ever prove to ramble on matters of the heart lately. Matters that matter dearly to the confused and the mobile. After all, when home isn’t where you live at the time…you need some form of stability and the heart is something that needs to be strong. Has to be. It is hard to walk through life, as a drifter or otherwise. And when you live life in the matter of the Ronin, if one who acts redeemed in terms of honor at least, then drifting is a part of life through and through.
It is pretty amazing to me what can happen after a simple night’s rest in the comfort of a warm bed in the middle of winter. Then again, it’s amazing to simply get a good night’s sleep as things stand anyway. Alas, that’s just the way things seem to work these days.
So anyway, after the massive update for the first time in TWO YEARS, I find myself with a desire to continue writing about how things stand. Don’t ask me why, really, I just do for once. Much like with the Muses that get me writing in the creative sense, I just follow the flow and let it happen as things come into my mind.
Ash leaves on Saturday. That’s going to hurt the entire atmosphere around the flat for the final week that I am at Murdoch University’s student village. I really don’t know if Javaid will be about with his own hookah pipe…it would be awesome if he does, but I cannot be sure. Otherwise…well…it will be boring as all hell around here. Guess I’ll head into Freo and spend the last dredges of my cash if Javaid isn’t about. Still, Friday is going to be one hell of a blast once my Changing Economies of Asia exam is finally over. Probably going to be a repeat of Triple Crown night. HELL YES! Lord knows that I will love that. Even if I need to drain the last of my cash in order to afford the drinks in order to have the total blast of the repeat party night.
Otherwise…let’s see…under the two week mark of my time here now. I’m sad because of it. Seriously. Two weeks is not enough time for what I still have left to do. Well…maybe I don’t have that much to go and do which would have been ‘obtainable’ at this point. Luella brought up a very, very good point earlier around the hookah as she took a study break. I really should have aimed for an Australian relationship while I was here. Regrets. Meh. I don’t really have time to dwell on them right now, though I know I will be hurting from them during the reacclimation process back home. Then again, back home has quite a few lovely ladies as well that I ought to get back in touch with.
One of them might just be Jess. Screw how the relationship went back then, I owe her at least civil conversation and a friendship that should at least be warm enough. Don’t think I can avoid being at least a tad bit sweet on her if the friendship gets off the ground. Attraction and affection never do seem to leave my system despite after break-ups. No matter how harmful they seemed at the time. Again, meh. I don’t have time for regrets.
Then there is Katey. I’ve been meaning to get back in touch with her for a long time anyway, long before I came to Australia at that. Old desires that I never acted upon are just as strong these days as they were back in the high school era of time. Not that she was around then…I still don’t know why she didn’t come to St. Joseph’s Catholic/High School, but at least she didn’t see me at my worst. The pacifist tension shit. Grah, that was not a good time for me, but that is thankfully far into the past. No more passive aggressive extremism for me, thank you. I’ll admit my feelings and be quite aggressive in defending myself if I have to be.
Still, looking at how things stand…I’m game to experiment and try to break out of the complacent shell that I usually am in with regards to how relationships are. I’ll still be happy even if I go through the remainder of my time at Wofford single, but it would be nice to have something more. I need the experience anyway, as it were. The Ph. D question *will* weight quite heavily upon myself if it comes down to ‘what happens after Graduation’ in terms of an active relationship. Who can blame me for wanting to come back to an amazing place like Perth anyway? Maybe I’ll bring ‘her’ over with me, or maybe I’ll wind up staying because of ‘her’, both are valid and likely possibilities if I do wind up in a relationship.
Hopeless romantic still? Pfft, not anymore I’m not. I’ll never outgrow the romantic attitude I have. I wouldn’t want to either, considering it is tied quite heavily in there with my Gentleman aspect that I try and maintain throughout thick and thin. Nothing like the South for cultivating it. Nothing like the South to surround myself with lovely ladies who I can compliment all day long regardless of my own relative social status to theirs.
So who else might I be interested in aiming for when I get back? That’s not as easy a question to ponder beyond the old aim. However…I’m still sweet on Lauren Satterfield. Shame on me, I know. Erica is too good a friend these days to try and go back into the High School desires. That, and she’s graduated, so lord knows where she will end up by the time the semester starts back up at home again. There’s always the ever-desirable Brooke…but I’m no longer quite so sure I even want to try and break that ice between us in anything beyond a friendship sense. It happens.
Its something to talk about with Mary Kate…it still amazes me that she is moving up to North Carolina with her boyfriend. I called it, though I never told *her* that. It makes me glad that I still have an accurate eye when it comes to the relationships of my friends at least…never mind that such a skill never has applied to my own needs for advice. Can’t step out of my thick skull I suppose. Makes me wonder just a bit of what is going on with Theresa too, but she’s never been much of the dating type up until this most recent boyfriend of hers. They are cute together though, so it may keep flying. I’d have to take a look at how things stand before I can comment on that. Too far from the sources involved in order to make a call there.
I’m just silly like that. Heh.
The ideas that continue to run through my head…permutations, chances, scenarios…they are what usually kills my attempts. I need to go beyond them to a state of no mind. Run on instinct. “Forgive. Too many mind,” as the line from The Last Samurai goes. Good movie that, same with Green Street Hooligans. Watched them both lately. Repeatedly in fact. Just goes to show I stick to my strengths in movie tastes at least. :P
Going back to family for a moment…I miss Claire and the others. Not in an intense need to see family kind of sense, but I really do enjoy mellowing out during the family get togethers. Left a note via Facebook to MK about that, actually. It’d be nice to get to see the entire brood as a welcome home thing…not to mention they owe me a twenty-first bash. “I’m not greedy, I’m just wanting a lot.” To hell with presents. Just give me the family getting together around some good food, a couple of beers for those of us of age, and a grand old good time. Maybe at Nancy’s place, considering Jack’s Alzheimer’s has taken a turn for the worst while I’ve been over here in Australia. Still, if he does remember who I am, it will be all the better.
Topic jump time…gotta hate losing the train of thought with the battery of the laptop dying on me and having to set it up to recharge. Actually, back to the returning home (possible) relationship hunt really. I was thinking…around the hookah, as seems to be the usual for me lately…if I do go back to one of those desirable femme fatales that I never got over, it would have to be Katey. Otherwise, I really ought to try and develop a new relationship from scratch. God knows how I will manage that one, considering the last involved Amy and was most assuredly not a good thing. Random interventions by the higher power aside, that will be an interesting challenge indeed. But one that my time here in Australia ought to have prepared me in a much better light for.
Go me…make things difficult on myself before the landing gear has even left Australian soil. I think too much, but it is how I have learned to dream so well. Vivid dreams that draw upon life’s experiences and the fantastical that only the imagination that I have been blessed with may provide. An imagination that’s gotten me into trouble before, but as I believe, just got to deal with the hand that life deals you and pull on through with whatever bluffing you have to do.
Back on the goodbye front, however…things just seem to get more difficult. The more I spend offbeat moments with Alexis, the harder the very idea of saying goodbye to her is becoming. It is very, very similar to the Lotus syndrome. Which is hard enough to explain on the general sense, without trying to get into the specifics…something that I personally think might be impossible to transfer from my mind onto paper. Or electronic notepads and journals, as the case may be. Suffice it to say, the strongest desires stem from attempting to obtain the entirely unobtainable. With the original Lotus Blossom, I was beaten to the punch by Nathan Mueller in asking her out. We grew one helluva lot closer as friends, and we have an amazing relationship as things stood back before I left for Australia. I really hate having missed her Graduation from Wofford, but she’ll understand. Heck, she supported me in the decision to head on over to Perth anyway when I had been debating whether or not I should pull this shin-dig off in the first place.
She’s a great girl, and I am sure she will find truer happiness than I might manage to scrape from the barrel of my existence on this world. Okay, fun and self-depreciating melodrama aside, she really will find happiness, and I will do anything she asks of me to see that through. Alexis…well…she’s the same. Knows when to listen, or rather, when someone really needs another to listen and help bare the burdens of life. That alone is a gift in and of itself that makes her desirable in my mind. On top of that she has beauty and personality…dear god it is the exact same syndrome. Right down to the ‘beaten to the punch’ bit, although in this case it was a relationship rekindled with her boyfriend back home. I’ll give him this much, he has one hell of a good romantic timing on things. And I have pretty shitty timing by extension. XD
At least I can laugh about it. Thank God for that much. Hidden strengths and reserves that I never expected I would have otherwise, a sign of personal growth from the fat butterball of a pacifist and hopeless romantic that I used to be.
GEEZ, do I ever prove to ramble on matters of the heart lately. Matters that matter dearly to the confused and the mobile. After all, when home isn’t where you live at the time…you need some form of stability and the heart is something that needs to be strong. Has to be. It is hard to walk through life, as a drifter or otherwise. And when you live life in the matter of the Ronin, if one who acts redeemed in terms of honor at least, then drifting is a part of life through and through.