(no subject)
today pretty much sucked. Huge let down from an amazing week last week.
I had MEGA cramps at work today. And any girl knows that when you've got cramps, the last thing you want to do is stand for 5 hours helping grumpy customers and dealing with BJ at the same time. But that was my day. grr.
And basically, something major in my life changed while I was out of the country... nobody asked me first... nobody even hinted at it first. I just got back and my dad was all, "hey... this is happening now." I was like, "um... ok. What am I supposed to say?" And seriously! What AM I supposed to say? I told him I'm ok with it, but the truth is that it's been on my mind constantly since he told me. I'm weirded out and scared about what it might mean. Bleh... I'm so messed up right now.
I made the realization a few days ago that I was actually more emotionally stable in the months right after my mom died than I am right now. I think I have digressed in the wrong direction. And this whole new development is NOT helping.
I'm so torn. God did amazing things on our trip to mexico, but I don't know where my heart is now that I'm home. I want to hold on to the high I had there, but that's so much easier said than done. And personally, I'm sick of always hearing the "christian answer" to every problem in my life and in the world. Christians, myself included, are the biggest, worst hypocrites in the world and I'm sick of hearing from them. We think that since we have these perfect scripted answers that they can change the world. I'm getting very tired of it.
So I'm sorry I'm sounding pessemistic today. I'll probably be better after some sleep and my cramps go away.
I had MEGA cramps at work today. And any girl knows that when you've got cramps, the last thing you want to do is stand for 5 hours helping grumpy customers and dealing with BJ at the same time. But that was my day. grr.
And basically, something major in my life changed while I was out of the country... nobody asked me first... nobody even hinted at it first. I just got back and my dad was all, "hey... this is happening now." I was like, "um... ok. What am I supposed to say?" And seriously! What AM I supposed to say? I told him I'm ok with it, but the truth is that it's been on my mind constantly since he told me. I'm weirded out and scared about what it might mean. Bleh... I'm so messed up right now.
I made the realization a few days ago that I was actually more emotionally stable in the months right after my mom died than I am right now. I think I have digressed in the wrong direction. And this whole new development is NOT helping.
I'm so torn. God did amazing things on our trip to mexico, but I don't know where my heart is now that I'm home. I want to hold on to the high I had there, but that's so much easier said than done. And personally, I'm sick of always hearing the "christian answer" to every problem in my life and in the world. Christians, myself included, are the biggest, worst hypocrites in the world and I'm sick of hearing from them. We think that since we have these perfect scripted answers that they can change the world. I'm getting very tired of it.
So I'm sorry I'm sounding pessemistic today. I'll probably be better after some sleep and my cramps go away.