(no subject)
I'm kind of at a constant state of upsetness at this point of my life. I never know what I'm doing wrong, sometimes I don't even know there's a problem. People keep telling me how much of an idiot I am, and I'm not going to listen to them. My mind is pretty much made up and nothing is going to change that. I definitely can't help but feel this way. Also, I hate this feeling of totally being worthless to anyone. I know that people care about me, but it seems like everyone is wanting to dispute my intentions and hate me for the way that I am. Very few people REALLY know me and can accurately assess my intentions, but even they are the ones who aren't getting it. I've also decided to let people live their lives like they want to, because only people can change themselves, no one else can. So all you people who were annoyed by my opposition to your smoking and drinking habits, can rest assured that I won't be nagging you any longer. You can all get high without the worry of Drew bothering you about it. Isn't that dandy? I think I'm on the verge up giving up my social life, it's just not where I want it. Now I can devote all my time and attention to school and make good grades. I wish life was really easy. HOW awesome would that be? Life is the worst thing to happen, but also the REASON that anything happened at all. Some people have good lives, for example... me. But I wish I didn't take so much for granted and could appreciate what I have, but it's difficult. I'm in Scholar's Bowl now, I joined because people keep telling me that I should do something meaningful in my life, and because my mom really likes to see me in it. She does a lot for me and I appreciate that, but none the less she can be sooo selfish. I know that's mean to say, but it's true. Can someone PLEASE tell me what I should be doing right now? Because I'm totally distraught and have no idea how to handle this.
just so you know
I still love you.