(no subject)
I don't remember the last time I wrote in here, and I'm too lazy to check.
Um, so my life has been a fucking mess lately.
Jeff and I broke up last month, for reasons that I am choosing not to disclose. It was mutual, however, so things are still okay between us. I went to a concert last week with him and some of his friends up at school, and it was a lot of fun.
School is winding down, and I'm finishing up my last traditional semester at Carroll Community. I will be taking courses over the summer to finish my Associate of Arts and, god-willing, I'll be going away to school in the fall. I'm mentally ready to move on from Carroll, seriously. It's been a lot of fun, but I'm ready to take the next step and begin a new chapter.
On that note, I think it would be appropriate to share that I am enjoying being single for the first time in over two years. It's probably the greatest feeling I've ever experienced. I feel so free and easy, and I'm ready to have the best fucking summer of my life. I've been hanging out with a guy from school lately, a really cute actor/musician that I've known for a few years but never this personally. We're going on Wednesday to see Angels in America at Towson. I don't really know what's going to become of all this, but it's great to be able to have fun with someone of the opposite gender. Personally, I'd just rather enjoy it for the time being. It feels wonderful to be desired and free to dress up and flirt. And let me tell you, I LOVE TO FLIRT. Since the breakup, I've noticed guys looking at me all of the time. Anyone who knows me well understands that I'm not really that kind of girl, and I don't usually draw a lot of male attention. I've always thought of myself as very plain and average, but apparently I've "grown up." Hahaha. Little Alyssa is a woman now.
OH! Speaking of which, I can't believe that I'm turning 20 this year! Seriously, where the hell has my life gone? I guess I'm going to have to find a new excuse for everything, because "I'm a teenager" apparently isn't going to cut it anymore. Damn. That's another thing, though, because being single at almost 20 is a hell of a lot different than being single at almost 18. When you're in high school, it's so easy to dwell upon the fact that everyone has someone and you don't, but by the time you get 2 years into college and are doing shows and trying to work jobs at the same time, it doesn't really matter. You don't owe any of your time to anyone, and a date every once and a while is such a treat. Plus, the guys get so much better after high school, TRUST ME. I love that most of the guys at Carroll are responsible, work, and go to school. The whole "Jeff being a bum" thing was getting so old. I think that if things hadn't happened the way they did, I probably would have broken up with Jeff anyway. Since hindsight is obviously 20/20, I know now that the relationship was going nowhere and getting there fast. I think it's going to take him a lot of time to grow up, probably more than most guys his age, and I'm already an adult with mature responsibilities.
So there you have it, an update on everything that's been going on lately. I really did want this to be a short update, but I guess I had more to say than I thought! :)
I'll keep you posted on how things are going. Happy Spring!
<3
Um, so my life has been a fucking mess lately.
Jeff and I broke up last month, for reasons that I am choosing not to disclose. It was mutual, however, so things are still okay between us. I went to a concert last week with him and some of his friends up at school, and it was a lot of fun.
School is winding down, and I'm finishing up my last traditional semester at Carroll Community. I will be taking courses over the summer to finish my Associate of Arts and, god-willing, I'll be going away to school in the fall. I'm mentally ready to move on from Carroll, seriously. It's been a lot of fun, but I'm ready to take the next step and begin a new chapter.
On that note, I think it would be appropriate to share that I am enjoying being single for the first time in over two years. It's probably the greatest feeling I've ever experienced. I feel so free and easy, and I'm ready to have the best fucking summer of my life. I've been hanging out with a guy from school lately, a really cute actor/musician that I've known for a few years but never this personally. We're going on Wednesday to see Angels in America at Towson. I don't really know what's going to become of all this, but it's great to be able to have fun with someone of the opposite gender. Personally, I'd just rather enjoy it for the time being. It feels wonderful to be desired and free to dress up and flirt. And let me tell you, I LOVE TO FLIRT. Since the breakup, I've noticed guys looking at me all of the time. Anyone who knows me well understands that I'm not really that kind of girl, and I don't usually draw a lot of male attention. I've always thought of myself as very plain and average, but apparently I've "grown up." Hahaha. Little Alyssa is a woman now.
OH! Speaking of which, I can't believe that I'm turning 20 this year! Seriously, where the hell has my life gone? I guess I'm going to have to find a new excuse for everything, because "I'm a teenager" apparently isn't going to cut it anymore. Damn. That's another thing, though, because being single at almost 20 is a hell of a lot different than being single at almost 18. When you're in high school, it's so easy to dwell upon the fact that everyone has someone and you don't, but by the time you get 2 years into college and are doing shows and trying to work jobs at the same time, it doesn't really matter. You don't owe any of your time to anyone, and a date every once and a while is such a treat. Plus, the guys get so much better after high school, TRUST ME. I love that most of the guys at Carroll are responsible, work, and go to school. The whole "Jeff being a bum" thing was getting so old. I think that if things hadn't happened the way they did, I probably would have broken up with Jeff anyway. Since hindsight is obviously 20/20, I know now that the relationship was going nowhere and getting there fast. I think it's going to take him a lot of time to grow up, probably more than most guys his age, and I'm already an adult with mature responsibilities.
So there you have it, an update on everything that's been going on lately. I really did want this to be a short update, but I guess I had more to say than I thought! :)
I'll keep you posted on how things are going. Happy Spring!
<3