Different.
Fresh Start. Explore my life, find my niche, love openly. Live in a bed with no furniture. Survive as my simple self. Free and expressive.People tell me I don't live selfishly, ever. Which is a great thing on the day to day. It's catching up with me. Where is the magical separation between my own life and others. When will it be my turn to leave an instant coffee ring on a empty hardwood floor. Through a simple conversation with an old friend.
I've been weighing options, For a long time I've had the idea of working on a cruise ship. Always been something I'd like to do. Perhaps moving to alabama and spending a year with Nejla. Working somewhere down south for a year, something different. Moving to oswego, working for Larry at the bar. Maybe looking into getting a shoe sponsor for climbing, what would need to be done to get that? What do I want to do with my life. How important is music to me. How Important is art. How important is love.
I'm so used to being in a relationship and having some sort of plan... I'm scared and excited to live for myself for a change. Nerves. Lots of melodic music like lovedrug, and copeland, and bloc party, etc. hipster love songs. My mind changes on little things more often than i thought they would. For instance typically oh a girl approaches you and says "You have the most beutiful eyes I have ever seen." .. My response whilst in a relationship. . . "Well thank you.." then nothing. Now here's single. ... "You have the most beutiful eyes I have ever seen.". . . I reply "Thank you, oh man wait let's see yours. (look really deep and borderline creep her out, wait not not too long okay) yeah yours are like, wow. . . " Thing like i used to be able to give my number to any girl, pretty suavely and confidently an either way get a response quickly. I'm disinterested. I've been out of the game a while. ha, that sounds so manly.
i just want a change, anything. please. Give me something applicable and sane and destiny like. That would be righteous. In the meantime, it's been fun having ladies around. I love the company of women.