Make in Rain
Been a while since I wrote a journal entry. A lot has change around me but me. I don't ever see myself changing. This weekend was crazy. I just got back from Vegas and I had the most fun in the world. The week before that I went to OC, Ma and that was fun. I could say a million thing about both trips but now in this entry. I lying on my bed and a feeling has come over me. This person still has that affect on me like no other person. It been a while since we last spoke or perhaps broke it off entirely. I have dated a few people but none could ever compare to this person. I don't know what she has on me but she took something from me and also left something. Maybe I will never get that closer from her but it's all good. I wonder what she doing, if she crying, is she smiling, is she still everything I once remember her to be. Was I really nothing to her? Sometimes you give your all, even if it means sacrificing your smile. At least I thought that how it should be. I know this person all to well, I'm sure she takes care of her self, are people taking advantage of her weaknesses, is she still trying to fit in when she doesn't need to. Does she still hate the one's she needs to love? Why do I have to know her so well? Why? The story goes like this, he told her he was coming, she waited for him he never showed up, she went home and she started to cry because she thought he was one of those disappointment in her life. She was so disappointed in him. The bell rang, she never expected it and he made sure she had that smile that he knew she always deserve. Counted the days, the months, the hours-lol. There could never be anything to salvage, no memories, no forgiveness but what ifs. People often ask me the question, so when is it going to happen. Honestly, never. I gave it once and I will honestly never give it out again. It's the greatest feeling to feel it but it's the worst feeling when it happens. I have switch my live to love to love to live now. Make ne sense- nahhh--- but I living now and freeely. At peace with myself for once in my life. No worries, ho hassles, no return. I know I don't have much time after finding out but at least I have learn to forgive and forget. Until the end of the rope, hope its a long rope- live freely and happily until end end.