aloha

[romasquerade]

HELLO LIVEJOURNAL, it's been a while. And by a while I mean like a week or something, but it feels like MUCH longer. I've been super busy recently, working 30 hours last week in 4 days (this is actually only impressive because 15 of them were on one day ((the 4th, no less, which was about 105 degrees and all of my work that day was physical))), and

Comments

[romasquerade]

Yeah, totally! Most people are just so complacent, so willing to not love anything full-heartedly, and that makes me SO sad. And to just see someone.... just loving something, and believing in it, it's just the best thing, you know? Conviction is my favorite thing ever, whether someone has that for their favorite band/book/movie, for their career path (or lack thereof), just.... believing in something and loving it with all that you have is, I honestly believe, the best thing you can have in your life. Idk. (I KNOW RIGHT? God, UChi had the best paraphernalia, I loved all their stupid postcards and everything. My 'Why UChicago' essay was pretty much "Idk y'all I've loved this school since I was 14, you send out really great literature, and also I visited when it was freezing cold and pouring rain in November and still somehow loved the shit out of it, so... This is Big." And yes, I do! *_*)

Yeah, totally. I can understand not falling head over heels, and for sure their music isn't for ~everyone (although I've never met anyone who didn't at least thing WMYB is catchy), but I... I honestly don't understand how you can see them being goofy and loving each other and stuff and be .... actively annoyed by them? I don't understand! They are so overwhelming sometimes, I'm being 100% honest when sometimes I'll be in the middle of my day, at work or hanging out with friends or anything, and I'll think about how much I love this stupid band and have to stop for a couple minutes and just reflect on that, because they do, they just make me so happy in ways that nothing ever has before, not even past fandoms, not even bands that I've loved more, and it's just ... I don't know. I think it's really incredible. I feel really, really lucky to have something I can love this much, that makes me so happy.

[darelose]

I agree. I almost can't understand when people don't have at least one thing they love fully. Like, how do you interact with things in such a distant manner. I don't know, maybe it's because I get easily attached to things but when I love something a lot, I think about it a lot and talk about it a lot and want new perspectives on it all the time. I basically just consume everything I can that is related to it. (That is EXACTLY how my essay to my university went. I visited in eighth grade as part of a top 10% of my class trip, and I completely fell in love with it. I talked about how I pictured it being a place I could feel at home and it was literally the most exciting thing ever when I got in. I love my school SO MUCH.)

I agree with everything you said here. They're great because it's so easy to love all of them and it just makes me really, really happy. I also don't think I've been this actively happy in a fandom pretty much ever. Ugh, even this conversation is making me happy because I love talking about how much I love them.

[romasquerade]

Your feelings are also mine, I am coming to recognize, in many many aspects. This included. I'm definitely a go big or go home person in terms of getting attached to things and loving them, there's ... very little middle ground for me, something either has my full attention and all of my love and devotion, or why bother? (Loving your school is FANTASTIC. It's the best feeling ever, really. The first time I cried with joy was upon acceptance to UChicago, and I'm just really glad that I didn't get there and find out it was actually terrible, idk. I had so many expectations and it somehow met all of them and like... how fantastic is that. !!!! I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things, SORRY. Not sorry. I'm gonna ask you where you go to school, just because I'm curious, but feel free not to tell me if you aren't comfortable with that/don't want to for any reason!!)

Rolls around. Talking about things that make you happy is ALSO the best feeling ever. This conversation is filled with all of the best feelings, I love it, I love One Direction, I love TALKING about One Direction. ;_; Possibly, I am pathetic, but definitely I don't care. This fandom is the best thing to happen to me recently and I love getting to talk to other people who are equally thrilled by it, because reasons.

[darelose]

Yes, I am that illustration of the light switch that keeps going around on Tumblr: I'm either fully invested or I don't really care at all. (Ugh I am so paranoid about telling people where I go to school because it is so small, but I am trusting you won't crazy murder me, since you aren't even from around here. I go to University of Puget Sound. It's a really small, private, liberal arts school. I am so thrilled my school met all my expectations. I love when you are doing something at school, and maybe it's not even a big thing, and you are just hit by this surge of fondness for your school. I just love things that I know are quintessentially UPS because it makes me feel like I belong to something and that everyone else is part of that same thing. I don't know if I'm articulating this right but it's just. I love it a lot.)

It really, really is. I don't want to make this like, somber or anything, but I had some really bad times this year and, as stupid as it sounds, being into One Direction and the people I have met through this band have made it a lot easier.

[romasquerade]

We are the same person, possibly. (I'm screened your comment just in case for some odd reason someone on my flist IS some crazy murderer (I don't think any of them are), because I totally understand being wary -- thanks for trusting me with that information, I feel like we are ~legit friends~ now (although tell me if I'm being too forward or something). ANYWAY, yeah, it's just.... Like the little things, the ones that seem insignificant but are so wholly personal to your school that make you just stop for a second and be like "this is a place, this is a community that I'm a part of and that I belong to," it's really special. I've personally moved around a lot in my life and so, like.... I don't know, the concept of "home" has always been one that I've struggled with, with fitting into something and feeling like I belong there, and it was really nice to come to school and feel so ... at home, really. But I think I know what you mean.)

Yeah, no, I know what you mean. I basically wrote this post on Tumblr last week that was like 2,000 words of me waxing unpoetic about how I struggle a lot with being ~happy (disclaimer: I don't claim any kind depression) and I can keep myself busy and occupied and that there are only a few things that can really instantly cheer me up, and most of those are moderately inaccessible, but then One Direction came around and they just ... make me so happy, so easily, and accessible in a way that nothing else is. It seems silly to say that they've ~changed my life~ but honestly, they have.

[darelose]

Of course you're not being too forward! And I appreciate you screening my comment, even though I'm also sure your flist isn't full of crazy murderers. Exactly! For example, my school has a clock and bell tower (as I'm sure most schools do? I'm not actually sure, but universities have a lot of things in common) and it tolls a full song everyday at 2:00 pm. I just love stuff that's unique to my school, because it becomes this experience you have that's common to everyone else experiencing it with you, even if you have nothing else in common. I've lived in the same place my whole life, so I have no idea what it's like to move around a lot, but I imagine it's difficult. What places have you lived, if you don't mind my asking?

It's an understatement to say, but being unhappy is literally the worst, so I'm sorry you have to deal with that but glad that you have a way to cope with it. The therapist I used to see was always telling me that coping skills are a really important thing to have, so it's actually really nice to have One Direction because, on the whole, they cheer me up more than anything. And even when they don't it's not through anything the band does, rather how some fans act. I never thought about it before, but I agree with you that they have changed my life as well. (Also, feel free to tell me if I get too ~personal or whatever. I know that not everyone is super comfortable talking about depression or what-have-you.)

[romasquerade]

You know, I'm not sure if my school has a proper clock and bell tower. We have a bell tower on one of our chapels that on the hour will play anything from the HP theme to the Pokemon theme to classical pieces to who knows what, but I think our only big clock is on one of our libraries. But yeah, I know what you mean. All of these people have something in common with you even if there's nothing besides the school you go to -- the school you chose to go to (for the most part) -- that's still something. It's pretty cool.

The medium-length story goes: I was born in New Mexico, moved to a Chicago suburb when I was 2, moved to western Illinois when I was 7, moved to Indiana at ..... 12, moved to Detroit at .... 16 (just barely)? And moved to Chicago for school last September (18)! So lots of the midwest, although I visit New Mexico a lot to visit my grandma and my dad currently lives in Florida, so I'm there a decent amount, too.

(Don't ever feel like you're being too personal with me unless it's something that you aren't comfortable sharing. I like to make it clear that I'm not trying to claim any experiences with depression because I wouldn't want to like... pretend I know what that feels like when I don't, but I'm something of the Person To Talk To(TM) among my friends about these sorts of issues, and a lot of my close friends DO suffer from depression, anxiety, other mental illnesses, what-have-you, so I'm comfortable hearing about it and discussing it. Which is all to say -- anything you're comfortable sharing with me, I'm comfortable hearing and talking about, 99% of the time. If anything falls within that 1% (thus far I haven't found anything that does, but I don't like saying 100%), I'll definitely let you know.)

It's really nice that the band itself never does anything that sucks, for sure. And I've actually found myself mostly secluded in a bubble of fandom that ALSO doesn't suck? It used to take a lot for me to unfriend or unfollow a person, but I just decided with this fandom that I needed to make that policy more relaxed. So I really only follow a few people on Tumblr that are really into 1D, and my flist is comprised of really respectful individuals, and I just... try not to venture outside of that and for the most part I don't have to interact with the shitty parts of this fandom.