Jun 30, 2008 23:58
I really hope this funk that Im in will end soon. Maybe once I have a place to live it will. Who knows? Im really starting to not give a shit more and more each day. Im tired.
I hate the fact that I can never be cool. It doesnt matter if I even like you just a little bit, I cant fucking keep my cool. I revert back to a 3 yr old. Im mature, I am fairly cool, so why the fuck cant I hold my shit together around someone that I have the tiniest bit of feelings for?
Im dissappointed in myself. I thought I was better than this. I feel like a loser. I dont want to have to live in Semmes. I just want a phone that doesnt rape me in the ass for a minute and a half phone call.
I just want to like someone, and not turn into a total idiot.
I feel pretty defeated, by it all. I cant win for losing.