now 28
Well, I'm 28. I realized that I found out that I was HIV positive on Oct 3 not the 13 - something I have been telling everyone for years lol, ohhh well. I only found this out by reading my old journal entries.
So I am not completely sure who wrote this, I have an idea but man i wish i could find someone to love me like this again... "I write this cause of someone who does care who miles between us make the ever so possible, inpossible, his touch was one that was so unbareable, I dont know I could explain it, he could read me like a book and know how I felt right off the bat, but it was distance that kept our part, and probably will to this day, we both every night cry our self to sleep im sure, thinking about what it would be like to have someone who can understand the pain we bare in our every day life, but only the one's who are positive can bare and understand that pain we fear. I look upon my self every day and say I wish the world would not be so apart from one another. But that will never be. I am sure that some day it might work, but this and for sure this is the man I felt I could wake up beside every day, cause I go to bed every night wishing it was him in my arms once again."
Anyway, I've been really down, probably the most since I found out over 3 yrs ago. I guess it's b/c i am still here in state college, knowing that I wish i could be else where. where? not sure... but after reading some of my entries I am thinking I should leave reading to other days... I appreciate Eron, I called him tonight b/c I was reading about him (he is the first poz guy i met online very soon after I found out I was HIV Positive) him and I actually met for the first time just a few months ago... It was awesome. Honestly, I wish i could snatch him up but he's with some guy - well, i dont think anyone could be as good for him except for me sooo i guess it doesnt matter, but anyway he called me back and made me feel better - as always. It was awesome, and continues to be awesome that I have him in my life, as little as he is in it. He thinks I should move down to Louisville closer to him but I told him I'd prob wind up doing nothing but getting him away from the guy he is with now lol.
Well... completely down, we'll see who's still on my friends list to say hello, I know it's been a while.
Tom
So I am not completely sure who wrote this, I have an idea but man i wish i could find someone to love me like this again... "I write this cause of someone who does care who miles between us make the ever so possible, inpossible, his touch was one that was so unbareable, I dont know I could explain it, he could read me like a book and know how I felt right off the bat, but it was distance that kept our part, and probably will to this day, we both every night cry our self to sleep im sure, thinking about what it would be like to have someone who can understand the pain we bare in our every day life, but only the one's who are positive can bare and understand that pain we fear. I look upon my self every day and say I wish the world would not be so apart from one another. But that will never be. I am sure that some day it might work, but this and for sure this is the man I felt I could wake up beside every day, cause I go to bed every night wishing it was him in my arms once again."
Anyway, I've been really down, probably the most since I found out over 3 yrs ago. I guess it's b/c i am still here in state college, knowing that I wish i could be else where. where? not sure... but after reading some of my entries I am thinking I should leave reading to other days... I appreciate Eron, I called him tonight b/c I was reading about him (he is the first poz guy i met online very soon after I found out I was HIV Positive) him and I actually met for the first time just a few months ago... It was awesome. Honestly, I wish i could snatch him up but he's with some guy - well, i dont think anyone could be as good for him except for me sooo i guess it doesnt matter, but anyway he called me back and made me feel better - as always. It was awesome, and continues to be awesome that I have him in my life, as little as he is in it. He thinks I should move down to Louisville closer to him but I told him I'd prob wind up doing nothing but getting him away from the guy he is with now lol.
Well... completely down, we'll see who's still on my friends list to say hello, I know it's been a while.
Tom