Five things multiplied
So, inlovewithnight and I are chatting, as we do, and you guys, do you know what I want?
Experienced/Semi-experienced person and virginal person having sex for the first time with fumbling and figuring things out and so much touching and tasting and kissing and getting lost in kissing that you forget you're supposed to figure out all the other stuff and then overloaded and perfect and oh god ohgod ohgodohgod.
Yes. Please. That.
Also, people asked me questions and I answered them.
inlovewithnight asked about Pete and delphinapterus asked about Ashlee in Take Deep Breaths
Pete
1) William is what Pete wishes he was. William's got this confidence a million times over when he's on stage, and even off he seems like he's got his head on straight. He knows what he wants. Pete always did what felt good, but it wasn't always what he wanted. It works out in the end, but sometimes when he looks at his life and has to make a choice, he tries to think of how William would approach it.
2) Pete doesn't start pulling on William's leather necklace on purpose. It just sort of happens. Or maybe it is on purpose and he wanted to see what would happen. He likes that he can put that look on William's face - that moment when something really good hits. The moment when the music and words come together and make a song.
3) He will never admit how hard it is to watch William go with Travie and then with Gabe. Not that he doesn't want them all to be happy - they're his friends, his family, and all he wants is for things to be the best for them, but William is his and it's hard to give that up. Of course, when there's a real problem - when he's lost in his head and trying to write Santi, William comes to L.A. because Pete's there, because Pete doesn't ask him for anything.
4) That is a lie. Pete needs things from William. He never tells him how much he gets out of talking to him on the phone, how much he appreciates that William treats him like a friend, tells him stupid stories and is open and honest with him. He gets off on William getting off too, gets off on having the right words to open him up and give him what he needs. Pete's good at doing that for strangers. With his friends, he feels like he usually does the opposite.
5) Gabe sits down with Pete and tells him the whole, untold story behind Midtown going their separate ways. He talks to him about the past and the future and what he wants. He also talks about what a great guy William is - about his voice and his writing and his love of sports and how he is like a walking thesaurus, and Pete relaxes, maybe for the first time since the tour started, and tells Gabe that he has his blessing. Gabe gives him a funny look, but Pete's pretty sure from that point on that he can call Gabe at 3AM too.
Ashlee
1) Ashlee doesn't meet William through Pete. She meets him through Patrick. It's clear Patrick is surprised that she doesn't know him, and it's just as clear that William is seriously uncomfortable around her. Of course, given that she sort of has a reputation of going off on people that Pete's dated in the past, it's not completely unreasonable for him to act that way. She is, it must be said, very nice to William. Pete, on the other hand, has a lot of explaining to do that night.
2) She learns the whole story on a bad night. Pete hasn't slept in roughly two weeks and his face is dark with shadows. She doesn't know what triggered the low, only knows to be there as he rides it out. He tries to push her away, tells her all the things he's done, waiting for her to be disgusted or horrified. She tells him the truth - that she's actually impressed with how well he handled William's situation - and things are different after that. Like William's a test she didn't know she had to pass.
3) She asks Pete why he didn't ask William to be Bronx's godfather along with Travie. Pete and Travie are close, solid, but somehow she always thinks of William first when she thinks of Pete's friends. He looks at her, surprised, and tells her that William couldn't do that. It's Pete's job to look after William.
4) It happens on accident. There's too much going on and too many people, and somehow thing get tangled and she tugs and William's eyes go wide. Gabe is there, materialized out of nowhere. William's laughing by the time she manages an apology, but she's absolutely certain her guest room bed is going to get a serious work out that night. She's also certain that it won't take much to get Pete to just lie there with her and listen in.
5) In one of the first emails Pete sent her, he included a list that he titled 'things you should know before you even hit reply and might make you not want to at all which i totally understand'. He listed that he was crazy, that he'd been on more medications than your average lab rat, he didn't sleep half the time, he was manic/depressive and neither of them were particularly pretty, he came with a lot of baggage (much displayed on the internet) and hanging out with him meant hanging out with his friends. She has baggage of her own. So she hit reply.
mourning_night asked about girl!Mikey and trcunning asked about Ashlee from Summer Hot, Summer Holiday
girl!Mikey
1) Girl!Mikey has heard every line you can imagine. Crass, crude, slick, sly, ridiculous, sexy and everything in between. She doesn't fall for them unless she wants to, except when she meets Gabe Saporta. He informs her that he's going to rock her world, and she tells him he's welcome to try. Of course, then he gets up on stage, and she realizes who he is and the blowjob in the bathroom is totally worth the ripped tights.
2) She's not surprised by the amount of stuff out there about her and Gerard. Pete tells her it comes with fame and he teaches her how to laugh about it. She even laughs about the stuff about her and Pete, even though he takes it really seriously. She's a little thrown by all the stuff where she's a guy, but Pete promises her that's totally a sign that the fans really like her.
3) People give her shit about playing the bass or, as most of them like to say, pretending to play it. She hasn't ever said she's really good at it, but Ray's taught her a lot and she pours her heart into every performance, even if she doesn't show it in the same flashy ways. She practices on the bus and before each gig and she can play all their songs, all of Pete's songs and all of Midtown's songs by heart. Still, it takes restraint at one show when one guy shouts out that she's fucking the whole band and that's the only reason she's up on stage. She wants to brain him with her bass - not because she's insulted about the sex (her band is pretty fuckable, she'll admit that), but because music has always been hers.
4) She expects something more to happen with her and Pete, but it seems destined to just short time thing. They stay friends after, and she realizes that's better. That doesn't mean they don't hook up on occasion, but for the most part, it ends when the summer does. She's happy when he gets together with Ashlee, and Ashlee and Pete dub her Bronx's fairy godmother, since all the other slots are taken.
5) She goes through a lot of shit at the Paramour and on the Black Parade tour, and it takes a long time to recover. But once she does, once she's on the right amount of meds at the right time, she feels good. Not great and pretty lousy sometimes, but for the most part, it's good. She also realizes she's pretty lucky - she's got a job she loves making music and she gets to do it with her best friends. Everything else will come when it's supposed to. She's learned to trust that, all in its own time.
Ashlee
1) Ashlee thinks Mikey could be really really pretty if she tried. As it is, she's pretty and sexy in her own way (ha ha), but Ashlee knows she could be beautiful. Stunning. Ashlee could make her that way, if Mikey would let her. Mikey might even actually say yes if Ashlee asked, but Ashlee's got her own insecurities, and is afraid how Pete would react to the end result if Mikey ever said yes.
2) People think there should be a feud between her and Mikey. In fact, she thinks that people wish there were a feud between her and Mikey. But she actually likes her a lot. She's funny and sharp and smart and everyone who doesn't know her thinks she's a bitch or an idiot, so Ashlee sort of feels like it's their secret.
3) Ashlee tells Mikey she's pregnant before she tells Pete. She tells Mikey before anyone else. She doesn't plan on it. It's not intentional, but when she looks down at those pink lines, she can't think of anyone else to talk about it with, anyone else who would be honest with her and help her figure out what to do.
4) Which is why it makes sense that Mikey shows up on Ashlee's doorstep one day, and Ashlee goes with her to the doctor. It's the first time Ashlee's ever seen Mikey lose control. Squeezing Ashlee's hand and her head turned away to hide the tears sliding down her face. Ashlee knows Mikey's not religious, but she talks about her grandmother the entire time, and Ashlee realizes that's how Mikey is asking for forgiveness.
5) She knows Mikey and Pete sleep together sometimes. It's the nature of the beast and the business, and she'd rather have Pete with someone she knows and trusts than some scene kid. She never once thinks it was Pete's baby that Mikey came to her with. When she does finally think about that, years after the fact, she realizes that maybe she and Mikey are actually friends, and she wonders how she never realized it before.
turlough asked about Gerard in Somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere
Gerard
1) It's Gerard's idea, though Mikey goes along easily enough. They work that way, always have. Mikey's been pushing Gerard to get together with Gabe since Jersey anyway, so it's not that hard to ask for a little extra incentive. Not that he needs much. Gabe's pretty easy.
2) Sometimes he thinks he and Mikey can read each other's minds. If they can't actually do it, they've perfected the art of figuring each other out well enough that it seems that way. There are days he wishes he could get in Mikey's head and then days when he knows Mikey's dying to get out of it, so he's learned to be happy with what he's got.
3) He and Mikey have shared partners before, and shared them at the same time, but they've never done more than kiss each other, touch in passing or by accident. That was Mikey's one argument against literally and figuratively fucking with Gabe - Gabe would not be afraid to encourage them to cross the line. They were lying in a bunk together when Mikey said it though, and they'd realized simultaneously that neither of them would really actually mind if they did.
4) Gerard has every intention of pursuing Gabe after that, but most of the time, they end up discussing philosophy very, very, very drunkenly. Which isn't to say that arguments about Hume and Heidegger don't end up with them naked and fucking just as drunkenly and determined as they'd been fighting.
5) Frank tells him that Gabe is nothing but trouble. It doesn't take much to make Frank realize that just makes him want it more. Surviving trouble is the only thing keeping Gerard alive.
turps33 asked about Mikey in Do Not Go Gentle
Mikey
1 - The first time it happens is after they escape from Korse's stronghold. They're both weak and shaken and not quite stable, so Ray and Frank and Bob put them in darkened room at the back of their first stopping point in Zone Two. They've got maybe three hours of lead time, since Bob started the fire and sent most of Battery City into a panic, the trapped air sparking higher and higher. Mikey crawls into Gerard's arms and holds him close, hands and fingers tracing over him, feeling for changes, for problems, for something that's not Gerard. His hands go everywhere, and pretty soon Gerard is doing the same. The first kiss is like that fire, burning everything in its path.
2 - Mikey knows Gerard hates it when he gets stuck on watch. Gerard doesn't like being in one place for too long, doesn't like being still. It's better when they're all together, but when it's just him or him and the little girl, he crawls out of his skin. Mikey always arranges for those nights to end with Ray and Frank scouting ahead and Mikey going alone to give Gerard the all clear.
3 - Mikey doesn't think about what they've lost. He can't look back while they're going forward or he won't be able to move. Gerard is the opposite, needing to look back to give him the incentive to keep going. It works for them, though sometimes, Mikey can feel Gerard vibrating with the need to talk about it, to dig up memories to stoke the fire inside him. Mikey can't help him with that. He wishes he could, but he feels like all he has left inside is ashes.
4 - Gerard knows that the reason Mikey rigged the vend-a-hack wasn't so much about guns and batteries and ammo as it was to sneak into Battery City and get his pills from the machines there. They all pretend like he doesn't have to take them anymore, like Better Living taking over the world and the dust and the heat and the acid rain cured all the shit in Mikey's head or burned it out or something, but the truth is that Mikey still needs them in red and blue and white and yellow all swallowed down with water that tastes like dust.
5 - The bike Mikey rides belonged to the Drac that killed Bob. Mikey's the one who blew his head off, one second too late, though all the rest of them took shots at him, leaving him a dismembered and mangled corpse. Bob rides in the back of the Trans Am, his head pillowed on Frank's lap. Tears stream through the dust on Frank's face and Gerard and Ray sit stoic in the front seat, waiting for Mikey to kick the bike into gear and get in front of them and lead them into the desert. More funeral procession than parade.
Experienced/Semi-experienced person and virginal person having sex for the first time with fumbling and figuring things out and so much touching and tasting and kissing and getting lost in kissing that you forget you're supposed to figure out all the other stuff and then overloaded and perfect and oh god ohgod ohgodohgod.
Yes. Please. That.
Also, people asked me questions and I answered them.
inlovewithnight asked about Pete and delphinapterus asked about Ashlee in Take Deep Breaths
Pete
1) William is what Pete wishes he was. William's got this confidence a million times over when he's on stage, and even off he seems like he's got his head on straight. He knows what he wants. Pete always did what felt good, but it wasn't always what he wanted. It works out in the end, but sometimes when he looks at his life and has to make a choice, he tries to think of how William would approach it.
2) Pete doesn't start pulling on William's leather necklace on purpose. It just sort of happens. Or maybe it is on purpose and he wanted to see what would happen. He likes that he can put that look on William's face - that moment when something really good hits. The moment when the music and words come together and make a song.
3) He will never admit how hard it is to watch William go with Travie and then with Gabe. Not that he doesn't want them all to be happy - they're his friends, his family, and all he wants is for things to be the best for them, but William is his and it's hard to give that up. Of course, when there's a real problem - when he's lost in his head and trying to write Santi, William comes to L.A. because Pete's there, because Pete doesn't ask him for anything.
4) That is a lie. Pete needs things from William. He never tells him how much he gets out of talking to him on the phone, how much he appreciates that William treats him like a friend, tells him stupid stories and is open and honest with him. He gets off on William getting off too, gets off on having the right words to open him up and give him what he needs. Pete's good at doing that for strangers. With his friends, he feels like he usually does the opposite.
5) Gabe sits down with Pete and tells him the whole, untold story behind Midtown going their separate ways. He talks to him about the past and the future and what he wants. He also talks about what a great guy William is - about his voice and his writing and his love of sports and how he is like a walking thesaurus, and Pete relaxes, maybe for the first time since the tour started, and tells Gabe that he has his blessing. Gabe gives him a funny look, but Pete's pretty sure from that point on that he can call Gabe at 3AM too.
Ashlee
1) Ashlee doesn't meet William through Pete. She meets him through Patrick. It's clear Patrick is surprised that she doesn't know him, and it's just as clear that William is seriously uncomfortable around her. Of course, given that she sort of has a reputation of going off on people that Pete's dated in the past, it's not completely unreasonable for him to act that way. She is, it must be said, very nice to William. Pete, on the other hand, has a lot of explaining to do that night.
2) She learns the whole story on a bad night. Pete hasn't slept in roughly two weeks and his face is dark with shadows. She doesn't know what triggered the low, only knows to be there as he rides it out. He tries to push her away, tells her all the things he's done, waiting for her to be disgusted or horrified. She tells him the truth - that she's actually impressed with how well he handled William's situation - and things are different after that. Like William's a test she didn't know she had to pass.
3) She asks Pete why he didn't ask William to be Bronx's godfather along with Travie. Pete and Travie are close, solid, but somehow she always thinks of William first when she thinks of Pete's friends. He looks at her, surprised, and tells her that William couldn't do that. It's Pete's job to look after William.
4) It happens on accident. There's too much going on and too many people, and somehow thing get tangled and she tugs and William's eyes go wide. Gabe is there, materialized out of nowhere. William's laughing by the time she manages an apology, but she's absolutely certain her guest room bed is going to get a serious work out that night. She's also certain that it won't take much to get Pete to just lie there with her and listen in.
5) In one of the first emails Pete sent her, he included a list that he titled 'things you should know before you even hit reply and might make you not want to at all which i totally understand'. He listed that he was crazy, that he'd been on more medications than your average lab rat, he didn't sleep half the time, he was manic/depressive and neither of them were particularly pretty, he came with a lot of baggage (much displayed on the internet) and hanging out with him meant hanging out with his friends. She has baggage of her own. So she hit reply.
mourning_night asked about girl!Mikey and trcunning asked about Ashlee from Summer Hot, Summer Holiday
girl!Mikey
1) Girl!Mikey has heard every line you can imagine. Crass, crude, slick, sly, ridiculous, sexy and everything in between. She doesn't fall for them unless she wants to, except when she meets Gabe Saporta. He informs her that he's going to rock her world, and she tells him he's welcome to try. Of course, then he gets up on stage, and she realizes who he is and the blowjob in the bathroom is totally worth the ripped tights.
2) She's not surprised by the amount of stuff out there about her and Gerard. Pete tells her it comes with fame and he teaches her how to laugh about it. She even laughs about the stuff about her and Pete, even though he takes it really seriously. She's a little thrown by all the stuff where she's a guy, but Pete promises her that's totally a sign that the fans really like her.
3) People give her shit about playing the bass or, as most of them like to say, pretending to play it. She hasn't ever said she's really good at it, but Ray's taught her a lot and she pours her heart into every performance, even if she doesn't show it in the same flashy ways. She practices on the bus and before each gig and she can play all their songs, all of Pete's songs and all of Midtown's songs by heart. Still, it takes restraint at one show when one guy shouts out that she's fucking the whole band and that's the only reason she's up on stage. She wants to brain him with her bass - not because she's insulted about the sex (her band is pretty fuckable, she'll admit that), but because music has always been hers.
4) She expects something more to happen with her and Pete, but it seems destined to just short time thing. They stay friends after, and she realizes that's better. That doesn't mean they don't hook up on occasion, but for the most part, it ends when the summer does. She's happy when he gets together with Ashlee, and Ashlee and Pete dub her Bronx's fairy godmother, since all the other slots are taken.
5) She goes through a lot of shit at the Paramour and on the Black Parade tour, and it takes a long time to recover. But once she does, once she's on the right amount of meds at the right time, she feels good. Not great and pretty lousy sometimes, but for the most part, it's good. She also realizes she's pretty lucky - she's got a job she loves making music and she gets to do it with her best friends. Everything else will come when it's supposed to. She's learned to trust that, all in its own time.
Ashlee
1) Ashlee thinks Mikey could be really really pretty if she tried. As it is, she's pretty and sexy in her own way (ha ha), but Ashlee knows she could be beautiful. Stunning. Ashlee could make her that way, if Mikey would let her. Mikey might even actually say yes if Ashlee asked, but Ashlee's got her own insecurities, and is afraid how Pete would react to the end result if Mikey ever said yes.
2) People think there should be a feud between her and Mikey. In fact, she thinks that people wish there were a feud between her and Mikey. But she actually likes her a lot. She's funny and sharp and smart and everyone who doesn't know her thinks she's a bitch or an idiot, so Ashlee sort of feels like it's their secret.
3) Ashlee tells Mikey she's pregnant before she tells Pete. She tells Mikey before anyone else. She doesn't plan on it. It's not intentional, but when she looks down at those pink lines, she can't think of anyone else to talk about it with, anyone else who would be honest with her and help her figure out what to do.
4) Which is why it makes sense that Mikey shows up on Ashlee's doorstep one day, and Ashlee goes with her to the doctor. It's the first time Ashlee's ever seen Mikey lose control. Squeezing Ashlee's hand and her head turned away to hide the tears sliding down her face. Ashlee knows Mikey's not religious, but she talks about her grandmother the entire time, and Ashlee realizes that's how Mikey is asking for forgiveness.
5) She knows Mikey and Pete sleep together sometimes. It's the nature of the beast and the business, and she'd rather have Pete with someone she knows and trusts than some scene kid. She never once thinks it was Pete's baby that Mikey came to her with. When she does finally think about that, years after the fact, she realizes that maybe she and Mikey are actually friends, and she wonders how she never realized it before.
turlough asked about Gerard in Somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere
Gerard
1) It's Gerard's idea, though Mikey goes along easily enough. They work that way, always have. Mikey's been pushing Gerard to get together with Gabe since Jersey anyway, so it's not that hard to ask for a little extra incentive. Not that he needs much. Gabe's pretty easy.
2) Sometimes he thinks he and Mikey can read each other's minds. If they can't actually do it, they've perfected the art of figuring each other out well enough that it seems that way. There are days he wishes he could get in Mikey's head and then days when he knows Mikey's dying to get out of it, so he's learned to be happy with what he's got.
3) He and Mikey have shared partners before, and shared them at the same time, but they've never done more than kiss each other, touch in passing or by accident. That was Mikey's one argument against literally and figuratively fucking with Gabe - Gabe would not be afraid to encourage them to cross the line. They were lying in a bunk together when Mikey said it though, and they'd realized simultaneously that neither of them would really actually mind if they did.
4) Gerard has every intention of pursuing Gabe after that, but most of the time, they end up discussing philosophy very, very, very drunkenly. Which isn't to say that arguments about Hume and Heidegger don't end up with them naked and fucking just as drunkenly and determined as they'd been fighting.
5) Frank tells him that Gabe is nothing but trouble. It doesn't take much to make Frank realize that just makes him want it more. Surviving trouble is the only thing keeping Gerard alive.
turps33 asked about Mikey in Do Not Go Gentle
Mikey
1 - The first time it happens is after they escape from Korse's stronghold. They're both weak and shaken and not quite stable, so Ray and Frank and Bob put them in darkened room at the back of their first stopping point in Zone Two. They've got maybe three hours of lead time, since Bob started the fire and sent most of Battery City into a panic, the trapped air sparking higher and higher. Mikey crawls into Gerard's arms and holds him close, hands and fingers tracing over him, feeling for changes, for problems, for something that's not Gerard. His hands go everywhere, and pretty soon Gerard is doing the same. The first kiss is like that fire, burning everything in its path.
2 - Mikey knows Gerard hates it when he gets stuck on watch. Gerard doesn't like being in one place for too long, doesn't like being still. It's better when they're all together, but when it's just him or him and the little girl, he crawls out of his skin. Mikey always arranges for those nights to end with Ray and Frank scouting ahead and Mikey going alone to give Gerard the all clear.
3 - Mikey doesn't think about what they've lost. He can't look back while they're going forward or he won't be able to move. Gerard is the opposite, needing to look back to give him the incentive to keep going. It works for them, though sometimes, Mikey can feel Gerard vibrating with the need to talk about it, to dig up memories to stoke the fire inside him. Mikey can't help him with that. He wishes he could, but he feels like all he has left inside is ashes.
4 - Gerard knows that the reason Mikey rigged the vend-a-hack wasn't so much about guns and batteries and ammo as it was to sneak into Battery City and get his pills from the machines there. They all pretend like he doesn't have to take them anymore, like Better Living taking over the world and the dust and the heat and the acid rain cured all the shit in Mikey's head or burned it out or something, but the truth is that Mikey still needs them in red and blue and white and yellow all swallowed down with water that tastes like dust.
5 - The bike Mikey rides belonged to the Drac that killed Bob. Mikey's the one who blew his head off, one second too late, though all the rest of them took shots at him, leaving him a dismembered and mangled corpse. Bob rides in the back of the Trans Am, his head pillowed on Frank's lap. Tears stream through the dust on Frank's face and Gerard and Ray sit stoic in the front seat, waiting for Mikey to kick the bike into gear and get in front of them and lead them into the desert. More funeral procession than parade.