And so on
Talked with the kidlet's mom and she said he only knows that Carter is taking a leave of absence. He'll find out eventually, but we'll deal with it when it comes. She's promised to tell me once he finds out so I/we can be prepared.
Still behind-ish on my homework. I have about 1/2 of my chemistry left to do because I kept falling asleep yesterday while reading about refraction of light, so I did one of my psych courses on infancy and ooooooh, boy. My youngest is almost 20 and I have A LOT OF FEELINGS about breastfeeding and birth still.
So both my kids were born early and born by c-section. I had hypertension with both and, when they did scans for my AFI (amniotic fluid index) for the first, it was almost negligible, so they decided to deliver. They put me on pitocin to stimulate contractions because I was only 34 weeks. Whenever I had a contraction, the kidlet's heart rate dropped big time, so they told me I was going to have to have a c-section.
Mind you, in pretty much every prenatal appointment/class you take they talk about the wonders of "natural" birth. C-section is kind of a dirty word. They'll show you 8000 videos of women giving birth, but a c-section is a no-no. So already I feel like I'm the world's most horrible mother because I can't have a baby the "right" way.
They do the c-section and the kid goes right into the incubator to fully cook him. I'm taken to my room (after throwing up several times from the anesthesia). We wheel me past the NICU and I see the baby. The next day I go to see the kid. Or I'm supposed to, but every time I move, I throw up. So, it's about 24 or so hours before I see him. And in that time, no one brings me a pump to express milk. And, you know, they usually have you do that, like, ASAP.
So, my milk didn't really come in and every time I tried to feed him, he'd scream and cry and not latch on no matter what hold I used, and so I'm crying and the baby's crying, and my husband says to just bottle feed him.
So again, I'm a TERRIBLE mother because I can't breastfeed. And the boob police are constantly trying to get me to breast feed and I'm using a shield and I'm using a pump, but I'm not getting much milk and I sit there for hours and try to get enough milk to feed the kid and I can't and I'm crying and crying while feeling like a cow and my boobs are sore and I'm tired and the kid is crying because he knows the pump means milk and I was miserable.
(technically I call them the boob Nazis because they harangue you and go on and on and on about how you just have to try and they made me feel worse and worse, but police suffices)
Second kid, same as the first. Hypertension, born early (on purpose this time), decide to just do the c-section because fuck it. Try to breastfeed and the kid chokes. Then I don't see him for a day and a half because he's in the NICU. One of the nurses that I worked with at the time worked with the doctor who was in charge of the maternity unit and she told him, and wow, was my kid in with me ASAP.
Anyway, a little more milk, but not enough and again with the boob police and more crying and more pumping and that's why I hate pregnancy books (they spend two pages talking about development and 300 telling you all the things that can go wrong) and pregnancy classes and breastfeeding consults because they make you feel bad. They tell you that your kids will be small because their preemies and that they won't be as smart if you feed them formula and you're ruining your children's chances at an amazing life because they'll just be formula fed.
/end rant
Anyway. We have to annotate our textbooks with comments for everyone to see and ooooh, boy. Did I leave comments.
Have to finish chemistry this weekend, but this morning I'm going to a craft fair and the booster club storage unit, so won't get to it until this afternoon/evening. Also might have to stop by goodwill and find a scrabble game because I need new players names because we traded and there are some that I have that I don't need that rudely don't have the same last name as the new guys. I tell you, so inconsiderate.
I currently have a head cold (not covid) which explains Tuesday's sleepfest a lot. Two hockey games to watch today/tonight. So many things, so little time.
Still behind-ish on my homework. I have about 1/2 of my chemistry left to do because I kept falling asleep yesterday while reading about refraction of light, so I did one of my psych courses on infancy and ooooooh, boy. My youngest is almost 20 and I have A LOT OF FEELINGS about breastfeeding and birth still.
So both my kids were born early and born by c-section. I had hypertension with both and, when they did scans for my AFI (amniotic fluid index) for the first, it was almost negligible, so they decided to deliver. They put me on pitocin to stimulate contractions because I was only 34 weeks. Whenever I had a contraction, the kidlet's heart rate dropped big time, so they told me I was going to have to have a c-section.
Mind you, in pretty much every prenatal appointment/class you take they talk about the wonders of "natural" birth. C-section is kind of a dirty word. They'll show you 8000 videos of women giving birth, but a c-section is a no-no. So already I feel like I'm the world's most horrible mother because I can't have a baby the "right" way.
They do the c-section and the kid goes right into the incubator to fully cook him. I'm taken to my room (after throwing up several times from the anesthesia). We wheel me past the NICU and I see the baby. The next day I go to see the kid. Or I'm supposed to, but every time I move, I throw up. So, it's about 24 or so hours before I see him. And in that time, no one brings me a pump to express milk. And, you know, they usually have you do that, like, ASAP.
So, my milk didn't really come in and every time I tried to feed him, he'd scream and cry and not latch on no matter what hold I used, and so I'm crying and the baby's crying, and my husband says to just bottle feed him.
So again, I'm a TERRIBLE mother because I can't breastfeed. And the boob police are constantly trying to get me to breast feed and I'm using a shield and I'm using a pump, but I'm not getting much milk and I sit there for hours and try to get enough milk to feed the kid and I can't and I'm crying and crying while feeling like a cow and my boobs are sore and I'm tired and the kid is crying because he knows the pump means milk and I was miserable.
(technically I call them the boob Nazis because they harangue you and go on and on and on about how you just have to try and they made me feel worse and worse, but police suffices)
Second kid, same as the first. Hypertension, born early (on purpose this time), decide to just do the c-section because fuck it. Try to breastfeed and the kid chokes. Then I don't see him for a day and a half because he's in the NICU. One of the nurses that I worked with at the time worked with the doctor who was in charge of the maternity unit and she told him, and wow, was my kid in with me ASAP.
Anyway, a little more milk, but not enough and again with the boob police and more crying and more pumping and that's why I hate pregnancy books (they spend two pages talking about development and 300 telling you all the things that can go wrong) and pregnancy classes and breastfeeding consults because they make you feel bad. They tell you that your kids will be small because their preemies and that they won't be as smart if you feed them formula and you're ruining your children's chances at an amazing life because they'll just be formula fed.
/end rant
Anyway. We have to annotate our textbooks with comments for everyone to see and ooooh, boy. Did I leave comments.
Have to finish chemistry this weekend, but this morning I'm going to a craft fair and the booster club storage unit, so won't get to it until this afternoon/evening. Also might have to stop by goodwill and find a scrabble game because I need new players names because we traded and there are some that I have that I don't need that rudely don't have the same last name as the new guys. I tell you, so inconsiderate.
I currently have a head cold (not covid) which explains Tuesday's sleepfest a lot. Two hockey games to watch today/tonight. So many things, so little time.