This was not what I was supposed to be writing: Criminal minds not!fic
Okay, so poisontaster posted a thing in her journal, which is wonderful, but for the purposes of this post, we are going to steal this part of it:
So then (don't ask me why--especially because if you've spent any time here, you KNOW why), I thought about Hotch sending Reid flowers to work.
Then I amended: I mean, he's OBVIOUSLY have to get the florist to write the card, because he can't take the chance that the rest of the BAU would recognize his handwriting, but just the gesture of such a public gesture...that's got to mean something, right?
And then, because I envision they're all in each other's pockets to some extent or another, I wondered if any of the BAU would get TOO curious, take it to the point where they HAVE to find out who Reid's secret admirer is, the one that makes him blush THAT hard, and thus, what other precautions Hotch would or would have to take to ensure further anonymity.
Well. I didn't come up with any further precautions. But--and, though I didn't have anyone specific in mind for the snoop--my next thought immediately conjures Morgan for this scenario (I'd say I don't know why, but...c'mon. Morgan.) Morgan, who starts looking into it out of what he thinks is garden variety nosiness, but what increasingly becomes...not obsessive, but definitely not idle curiosity. (and now that I'm writing this all out, I have no idea how all this would end, but I'm not sure it could end well...)
And then Morgan finds out that it's Hotch. And tied in with all the other feelings is that sudden sense of betrayal and anger and who the hell does Hotch think he is..., which is probably, when it tips for Morgan that he's actually interested in Reid himself and so we have this period of both Hotch and Morgan vying for Reid's affections....
And then I commented:
Even better would be the fact that Garcia would stew on it and try to find things out, but without thinking it's the team, because why would she think that, so she keeps talking about how she can't find this and can't find that and Morgan gets suspicious, because WHO WOULD KNOW HOW TO KEEP STUFF FROM GARCIA, RIGHT? and then he starts narrowing that list down and *bam*. Hotch.
And, man, the way Reid blushes. The way he sits at his desk and pretends not to look at the flowers, and it's one of those weird weeks where they don't have anywhere to go for a case, so he's at his desk a lot, and he keeps not looking at the flowers, except he does, and his hand occasionally brushes the vase and he blushes again, and it is DRIVING MORGAN CRAZY. And he's all pissy and snippy and Reid gets a huge brunt of it, and he has no idea what he's done.
And Hotch is even more taciturn at work, and more nose to the grindstone, so Reid is worried that he gave something away with his reaction at the office, but that's kind of taken care of when he's heading home to his place and Hotch slams him up against a wall in the dark and kisses him, arm across his chest and shoulders, not letting him move and Reid just gives himself over to it, melting, letting Hotch's arm be the only thing holding him up.
And then Hotch would herd Reid into the house in the dark, because no one can see, and Reid can barely walk because he *wants* and Hotch just bends him over the table and takes him there, because they can't wait and Hotch has been watching him all day, watching him look at the flowers and touch the vase and wanted his hands on *him*, and Reid just takes it, begging for it, and he'll have bruising on his stomach and hips because of the force Hotch uses to thrust into him, shoving him into the table.
And the next day is even *worse* at the office and Morgan is going *crazy* and he totally makes a date on the phone so Reid can hear, which is stupid, because Reid doesn't care if he dates, and they're in the bathroom and Reid is using the urinal when Morgan walks in and he just sees a *hint* of bruising, and he *knows* Reid was with a guy and he is in the SHITTIEST of moods the rest of the day and snaps at everyone, and Hotch calls him into his office to find out if everything's okay.
And Morgan just passes it off and heads out early because he can't be there and watch Reid touch that GODDAMNED VASE anymore. So fuck it, HE buys Reid some stupid flower arrangement and uses his skills to hide it from Garcia, which starts him thinking, but then Reid gets MORE flowers and Hotch is *furious* and that night at the house, he doesn't even give Reid a chance. He's got his hand at his throat and is holding him there and jerking Reid off outside the house and exposed and open and Reid is whimpering and can't even beg because words are hard and require brains and Hotch lets him go after he comes and Reid just kind of slumps there against the wall and then goes down on his knees and buries his fact in Hotch's crotch, mouthing him through his slacks, trying to make his fingers work to get them undone and open and leaving scratches and so desperate, making these noises in his throat.
Because Reid TOTALLY thought the second one was from Hotch! But it wasn't! And Morgan sees him looking at the second bouquet and *wondering* and so he knows that Reid knows it's from someone different and he can see his brain working, wondering who it is, and that gets Morgan so *pleased*, because Reid loves having a puzzle and Morgan kind of gets off on *being* the puzzle, which is a new and weird feeling and so he goes over and sits on the edge of Reid's desk and kind of touches the petals of the second arrangement and teases Reid a little, watching the blush rise up in his cheeks, and he leans in and whispers something sexy - like Reid must be getting something good, or giving something good in return - and Reid turns so red and Hotch calls Reid into his office and shuts the door and everyone is *wondering*, because Reid is, like, boy wonder, and Hotch just looks like Hotch, but Reid has the red face from Morgan and maybe he's getting a dressing down and WHAT IS GOING ON AT THE BAU?
And after work, Morgan's leaning on the building, waiting for Reid. Offers him a ride home instead of the subway, and Reid should say no because Hotch was kind of pissed, and there's a good chance he could be at Reid's, but also he has a thing with Jack that night, so he shouldn't, and it's Morgan and it's just a ride, but then it's dinner and drinks and too much to drink and leaning and Morgan walking him to his place and letting him lean and calling him baby boy and Reid looking at him, and just that mellow, melted look and then Morgan's kissing him and Reid's shuddering all over with it, pressing close.
And Morgan's so *pleased* with himself, but he unlatches Reid from him and tucks him into bed, and Reid waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants, but Morgan shakes his head and tells him to sleep it off, but he kisses him again, and it's weird and deliberate, but good, and it takes a lot to leave, but he does and goes home and jerks off for ages, because fucking REID, and just his MOUTH and his long fingers clenched in Derek's jacket, and thinking about them on his dick and thinking about his dick in that MOUTH and FUCK. When he finally lets himself go, it's a fucking mess, and he's shaky with it.
The next morning, Reid's late for work and his hair's in his face and he's embarrassed and shy and won't look at Morgan and Hotch LOOKS AT PEOPLE FOR A LIVING and so he knows something is going on and he can't confront Morgan and so he has to talk to Reid but there are meetings and then a CASE, and they have to fly around and Reid gets paired with JJ or Prentiss or Rossi, but NEVER Morgan and NEVER Hotch and he gets less and less talkative but more babble-y and then Hotch corners him in the hotel one night - Reid is about to go out, but Hotch grabs his arm and says they need to talk and they go into a conference room in the hotel or something, something not connected to either of them, and Reid expects Hotch to yell at him or demand answers, and he opens his mouth to give them, because he can't take it when Hotch is pissed at him, but instead, Hotch just leans in and kisses him.
And it's different, because normally Hotch has a little self-hatred going on especially when he's with Reid, but this is just...it's just *kissing* and it's slow and deep and Reid is arching his hips into him, leg wrapped around Hotch's calves and shaking and surrendered even more than when Hotch *takes* it from him, and when it's over, when the kissing stops, and it takes him a while to figure out the kissing has stopped, he just looks at Hotch and Hotch's face is so calm and so passive, but his eyes are dark and he traces his thumb over Reid's lower lip and just LOOKS at him, and there's so much DANGER in his look, but Reid just nods, because he BELONGS to Hotch. No matter what he might see elsewhere, Hotch OWNS him.
And, of course, something goes HORRIBLY AWRY (~handwaves plot) and Reid gets hurt and they're all in the hospital and pacing and Hotch is just STANDING there, and it's a little too reminiscent of when Prentiss was in the hospital and the LIES and so there's all that tension on top of the fact that it's Reid, and they all love Reid more than they should, but Morgan can't TAKE IT, because if HE had been there, but noooooooooooooooo, Hotch couldn't let him be there, and Hotch wasn't there, even though they're supposed to have each other's back, and so Hotch says something to someone, something completely non-consequential, and Derek hauls off and slugs him, and then there's fighting and bruising and bloodiness (nom) and people trying to break them up and Rossi jerks Derek into another room, because Rossi knows, because ROSSI ALWAYS KNOWS, and he tells him he's going to have to calm the fuck down because no matter what is going on with Derek, Hotch is kind of desperately IN LOVE with Reid, and so cool the fuck down and go get some air.
And, of course, Reid is fine - his dignity is a little shaky - and they fly back to Quantico, and he's sitting in Hotch's office, because that's what you do in the dramatic ending, and Hotch is leaning on his desk, shirt sleeves rolled up (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and kind of casual, because it's after hours and the case is done, and Derek comes in and stands there and it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawkward, but he just shrugs and says something like "Whatever this is, it isn't done. Not yet. Not by a long shot." And Hotch says "I hope you don't expect it to be easy." And Derek does that little "heh" laugh that he does and leaves and Reid is like "Do I get a say in this?"
BECAUSE REID SAYS THREESOME.
The end.
So then (don't ask me why--especially because if you've spent any time here, you KNOW why), I thought about Hotch sending Reid flowers to work.
Then I amended: I mean, he's OBVIOUSLY have to get the florist to write the card, because he can't take the chance that the rest of the BAU would recognize his handwriting, but just the gesture of such a public gesture...that's got to mean something, right?
And then, because I envision they're all in each other's pockets to some extent or another, I wondered if any of the BAU would get TOO curious, take it to the point where they HAVE to find out who Reid's secret admirer is, the one that makes him blush THAT hard, and thus, what other precautions Hotch would or would have to take to ensure further anonymity.
Well. I didn't come up with any further precautions. But--and, though I didn't have anyone specific in mind for the snoop--my next thought immediately conjures Morgan for this scenario (I'd say I don't know why, but...c'mon. Morgan.) Morgan, who starts looking into it out of what he thinks is garden variety nosiness, but what increasingly becomes...not obsessive, but definitely not idle curiosity. (and now that I'm writing this all out, I have no idea how all this would end, but I'm not sure it could end well...)
And then Morgan finds out that it's Hotch. And tied in with all the other feelings is that sudden sense of betrayal and anger and who the hell does Hotch think he is..., which is probably, when it tips for Morgan that he's actually interested in Reid himself and so we have this period of both Hotch and Morgan vying for Reid's affections....
And then I commented:
Even better would be the fact that Garcia would stew on it and try to find things out, but without thinking it's the team, because why would she think that, so she keeps talking about how she can't find this and can't find that and Morgan gets suspicious, because WHO WOULD KNOW HOW TO KEEP STUFF FROM GARCIA, RIGHT? and then he starts narrowing that list down and *bam*. Hotch.
And, man, the way Reid blushes. The way he sits at his desk and pretends not to look at the flowers, and it's one of those weird weeks where they don't have anywhere to go for a case, so he's at his desk a lot, and he keeps not looking at the flowers, except he does, and his hand occasionally brushes the vase and he blushes again, and it is DRIVING MORGAN CRAZY. And he's all pissy and snippy and Reid gets a huge brunt of it, and he has no idea what he's done.
And Hotch is even more taciturn at work, and more nose to the grindstone, so Reid is worried that he gave something away with his reaction at the office, but that's kind of taken care of when he's heading home to his place and Hotch slams him up against a wall in the dark and kisses him, arm across his chest and shoulders, not letting him move and Reid just gives himself over to it, melting, letting Hotch's arm be the only thing holding him up.
And then Hotch would herd Reid into the house in the dark, because no one can see, and Reid can barely walk because he *wants* and Hotch just bends him over the table and takes him there, because they can't wait and Hotch has been watching him all day, watching him look at the flowers and touch the vase and wanted his hands on *him*, and Reid just takes it, begging for it, and he'll have bruising on his stomach and hips because of the force Hotch uses to thrust into him, shoving him into the table.
And the next day is even *worse* at the office and Morgan is going *crazy* and he totally makes a date on the phone so Reid can hear, which is stupid, because Reid doesn't care if he dates, and they're in the bathroom and Reid is using the urinal when Morgan walks in and he just sees a *hint* of bruising, and he *knows* Reid was with a guy and he is in the SHITTIEST of moods the rest of the day and snaps at everyone, and Hotch calls him into his office to find out if everything's okay.
And Morgan just passes it off and heads out early because he can't be there and watch Reid touch that GODDAMNED VASE anymore. So fuck it, HE buys Reid some stupid flower arrangement and uses his skills to hide it from Garcia, which starts him thinking, but then Reid gets MORE flowers and Hotch is *furious* and that night at the house, he doesn't even give Reid a chance. He's got his hand at his throat and is holding him there and jerking Reid off outside the house and exposed and open and Reid is whimpering and can't even beg because words are hard and require brains and Hotch lets him go after he comes and Reid just kind of slumps there against the wall and then goes down on his knees and buries his fact in Hotch's crotch, mouthing him through his slacks, trying to make his fingers work to get them undone and open and leaving scratches and so desperate, making these noises in his throat.
Because Reid TOTALLY thought the second one was from Hotch! But it wasn't! And Morgan sees him looking at the second bouquet and *wondering* and so he knows that Reid knows it's from someone different and he can see his brain working, wondering who it is, and that gets Morgan so *pleased*, because Reid loves having a puzzle and Morgan kind of gets off on *being* the puzzle, which is a new and weird feeling and so he goes over and sits on the edge of Reid's desk and kind of touches the petals of the second arrangement and teases Reid a little, watching the blush rise up in his cheeks, and he leans in and whispers something sexy - like Reid must be getting something good, or giving something good in return - and Reid turns so red and Hotch calls Reid into his office and shuts the door and everyone is *wondering*, because Reid is, like, boy wonder, and Hotch just looks like Hotch, but Reid has the red face from Morgan and maybe he's getting a dressing down and WHAT IS GOING ON AT THE BAU?
And after work, Morgan's leaning on the building, waiting for Reid. Offers him a ride home instead of the subway, and Reid should say no because Hotch was kind of pissed, and there's a good chance he could be at Reid's, but also he has a thing with Jack that night, so he shouldn't, and it's Morgan and it's just a ride, but then it's dinner and drinks and too much to drink and leaning and Morgan walking him to his place and letting him lean and calling him baby boy and Reid looking at him, and just that mellow, melted look and then Morgan's kissing him and Reid's shuddering all over with it, pressing close.
And Morgan's so *pleased* with himself, but he unlatches Reid from him and tucks him into bed, and Reid waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants, but Morgan shakes his head and tells him to sleep it off, but he kisses him again, and it's weird and deliberate, but good, and it takes a lot to leave, but he does and goes home and jerks off for ages, because fucking REID, and just his MOUTH and his long fingers clenched in Derek's jacket, and thinking about them on his dick and thinking about his dick in that MOUTH and FUCK. When he finally lets himself go, it's a fucking mess, and he's shaky with it.
The next morning, Reid's late for work and his hair's in his face and he's embarrassed and shy and won't look at Morgan and Hotch LOOKS AT PEOPLE FOR A LIVING and so he knows something is going on and he can't confront Morgan and so he has to talk to Reid but there are meetings and then a CASE, and they have to fly around and Reid gets paired with JJ or Prentiss or Rossi, but NEVER Morgan and NEVER Hotch and he gets less and less talkative but more babble-y and then Hotch corners him in the hotel one night - Reid is about to go out, but Hotch grabs his arm and says they need to talk and they go into a conference room in the hotel or something, something not connected to either of them, and Reid expects Hotch to yell at him or demand answers, and he opens his mouth to give them, because he can't take it when Hotch is pissed at him, but instead, Hotch just leans in and kisses him.
And it's different, because normally Hotch has a little self-hatred going on especially when he's with Reid, but this is just...it's just *kissing* and it's slow and deep and Reid is arching his hips into him, leg wrapped around Hotch's calves and shaking and surrendered even more than when Hotch *takes* it from him, and when it's over, when the kissing stops, and it takes him a while to figure out the kissing has stopped, he just looks at Hotch and Hotch's face is so calm and so passive, but his eyes are dark and he traces his thumb over Reid's lower lip and just LOOKS at him, and there's so much DANGER in his look, but Reid just nods, because he BELONGS to Hotch. No matter what he might see elsewhere, Hotch OWNS him.
And, of course, something goes HORRIBLY AWRY (~handwaves plot) and Reid gets hurt and they're all in the hospital and pacing and Hotch is just STANDING there, and it's a little too reminiscent of when Prentiss was in the hospital and the LIES and so there's all that tension on top of the fact that it's Reid, and they all love Reid more than they should, but Morgan can't TAKE IT, because if HE had been there, but noooooooooooooooo, Hotch couldn't let him be there, and Hotch wasn't there, even though they're supposed to have each other's back, and so Hotch says something to someone, something completely non-consequential, and Derek hauls off and slugs him, and then there's fighting and bruising and bloodiness (nom) and people trying to break them up and Rossi jerks Derek into another room, because Rossi knows, because ROSSI ALWAYS KNOWS, and he tells him he's going to have to calm the fuck down because no matter what is going on with Derek, Hotch is kind of desperately IN LOVE with Reid, and so cool the fuck down and go get some air.
And, of course, Reid is fine - his dignity is a little shaky - and they fly back to Quantico, and he's sitting in Hotch's office, because that's what you do in the dramatic ending, and Hotch is leaning on his desk, shirt sleeves rolled up (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and kind of casual, because it's after hours and the case is done, and Derek comes in and stands there and it's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawkward, but he just shrugs and says something like "Whatever this is, it isn't done. Not yet. Not by a long shot." And Hotch says "I hope you don't expect it to be easy." And Derek does that little "heh" laugh that he does and leaves and Reid is like "Do I get a say in this?"
BECAUSE REID SAYS THREESOME.
The end.