(no subject)
I was walking home late at night after seeing Batman Begins. I was all hyped from the Batman experience, and as such felt an incredible need to attack each tree I passed as though it was a villain intent with stealing my wisdom teeth. I stopped my nature massacre after the trees started kicking back. As I walked along I kept seeing something out of the corner of my eye. Each time I would quickly turn, but in that split second whatever was there was gone. Suddenly a man dressed in fully black including a black face mask dropped from a tree onto the foot path just ahead of me.
My initial reaction was "feck, the trees have sent an assassin" and as such did what any joe average would do in my situation: I quickly removed my hat from my head and threw it at the masked stranger at roughly 3mph (it would have gone faster but the air around me had very strict 'no speed throwing' laws). The Roma hat collided with the assailant's left shoulder softly before slumping to the ground. To my horror, this didn't seem to bother my adversary the slightest. I prepared for what I expected would be the greatest kung fu action fight, rival only to those seen in Hollywood films. I was wrong, and suffered a simple kick to my kneecap before collapsing to the ground and screaming "fecking feck feck... ouch... man... that totally hurt".
The masked foe raised his left arm, which I was dissapointed my Roma hat hadn't disabled. He signalled for me to be quiet. Rather than suffer a second knee cap busting I obliged his request.
"I wish not to fight, Roma. I saw you yesterday at the cinema where you went 'Bruce Lee' on the ticket inspector. I saw great potential in your attack, and feel that you are worthy of NINJA TRAINING!"
"NIN JAR TRAINING?!" I gasped as I quickly pulled my Nine Inch Nails collector's jar out of my pocket.
"Are you telling me... These fecking jars can actually be trained...!?"
What followed was an eighteen month course in the history of Japan.
"... Ohhh... Ninja."
To be continued.
(Next update will occur on or before Friday 15th of July (LOL NINJA EDIT). Because I'm trying to go weekly updating they will probably be quite short, such as this one. Why? 'Cause I'm lazy.)
My initial reaction was "feck, the trees have sent an assassin" and as such did what any joe average would do in my situation: I quickly removed my hat from my head and threw it at the masked stranger at roughly 3mph (it would have gone faster but the air around me had very strict 'no speed throwing' laws). The Roma hat collided with the assailant's left shoulder softly before slumping to the ground. To my horror, this didn't seem to bother my adversary the slightest. I prepared for what I expected would be the greatest kung fu action fight, rival only to those seen in Hollywood films. I was wrong, and suffered a simple kick to my kneecap before collapsing to the ground and screaming "fecking feck feck... ouch... man... that totally hurt".
The masked foe raised his left arm, which I was dissapointed my Roma hat hadn't disabled. He signalled for me to be quiet. Rather than suffer a second knee cap busting I obliged his request.
"I wish not to fight, Roma. I saw you yesterday at the cinema where you went 'Bruce Lee' on the ticket inspector. I saw great potential in your attack, and feel that you are worthy of NINJA TRAINING!"
"NIN JAR TRAINING?!" I gasped as I quickly pulled my Nine Inch Nails collector's jar out of my pocket.
"Are you telling me... These fecking jars can actually be trained...!?"
What followed was an eighteen month course in the history of Japan.
"... Ohhh... Ninja."
To be continued.
(Next update will occur on or before Friday 15th of July (LOL NINJA EDIT). Because I'm trying to go weekly updating they will probably be quite short, such as this one. Why? 'Cause I'm lazy.)