Romania-Croatia matchspam
Aaaaaand here is the latest matchspam ever :D I was hampered by (a) blindness and (b) the fact that I, like everybody else, was impressively underwhelmed by this awful match. Still, let’s clear it out of the way so we can catch up with everything else.
• Piti is annoyed with the outcome (you don’t say!), and especially with Costea.
• Before the match, the Romanian media terrified me by pointing out that Romania have never won a single match against Croatia. This sounded pretty frightening until I found out that the grand total of previous Romania/Croatia matches is three, possibly due to Croatia’s not existing for a large part of the last century. Anyway, they’ve still never won a match against Croatia, since, as you know, this one finished 2-1.
• Piti was criticised by, among others, Mircea Rednic, who said that he should definitely have called up Chivu, Mutu and Marius Niculae. Piti told him to sod off. ¦D I love it when he does that.
• Marica is now going out with the porn model Gina Pistol, apparently, and she was freezing her bum off in the stands - an example for our times, since only a quarter of the 20,000 tickets were sold. He also succeeded in scoring a goal for his mum - remember, he said he was going to? Bless.
• Panti played for ten minutes, but there are NO PICTURES OF HIM!!! DDD:
I’ve found a few more pictures from before the match, so I’ll put them here -
Ogararu, stop laughing at Pantilimon. (And damn Intact for putting the logo across his face.)
Costea (who unfortunately looks so much like Alex Curtean that I thought he WAS him, hence the confusion) prays that they won’t lose the match. It didn’t work.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Ahem. Sorry.
He does look adorable, though.
Also, I found this cartoon XD Is it a work of fucking art or what? (I LOVE Piti’s frilly apron.) As near as I can translate it, it goes:
Mutu: Boy, Piti, I can’t play when my elbow is hurting like this! The national team is broken, but so is my... soul!
(Text on Mutu’s back: I am among you, but not one of you.)
Christi: I was planning to give birth to a qualification. (Eh? Methinks the cartoonist was confused - this wasn’t a qualifying match.) But I feel anaemic - Mourinho’s feeding us on lettuce!
Piti: Kids, Daddy will take care of you! I may be strict, but I realise when someone is injured. Milk in your coffee?
Finally, for Ruby: three pictures of evil Croatians.
Anyway. That’s it with the fun stuff - on to the match. There’s a match report here, but it’s barely intelligible, even to me; it does have lineups, however.
Piti’s right cheek is doing odd things. Evidently the strain of pretending to be friends with THE ENEMY is getting to him.
D: More enemies! *Shoots them down*
Aaaand this picture is the ONLY thing that made the match worthwhile. Sing it, Petre!
Seriously, LOOK at his little face. *Dies of love*
There was a minute's silence for Marian Cozma -
they are wearing black armbands for the same reason.
The crowd looks pretty good from this angle, doesn’t it?
It wasn’t.
There was NO CUNT THERE. (Although the ones that did turn up had a banner that said something vaguely positive about Mutu - that’s a nice change.)
And here is your (deeply rubbish) starting XI. (Seriously, Ovidiu, you couldn’t have left the bling off for one night?)
Obviously, most of the pictures are of Marica,
because he was the only one who did anything useful.
DX DX DX D’you think you could turn the saturation up a bit more there, Click? I’m sure there’s a small part of my optic nerve left.
Anyway, as I was saying, Marica scored.
Here we go:
Bwahahahaha!! Eat dust, Croatian goalie.
I AM THE GREATEST!
“Yeah, yeah. You are the greatest.”
Cocis and Costea were a bit more enthusiastic than Rat -
you know, smiled and stuff.
AHAHA MORE FLORENTIN I LOVE THIS TOO XD
“Many thanks to those of you who bothered to watch the match.”
This is Florin Costea.
Definitely Costea. Not Alex Curtean.
In my defence, they look pretty similar - big eyes, short hair and, well, giant ears.
As you can see, everyone was watching him because he had to take up the considerable burden of the No. 10 shirt.
Normally worn by Mutu and, before him, Gheorghe Hagi - no pressure, Floz!
Next, Contra.
The captain, as usual when Chivu and Mutu aren’t there - their pecking order goes Chivu, Mutu, Contra, Lobby.
I hope he’s going to keep the enromous amount of hair. I think it suits him.
Cocis, meanwhile, pulled awful faces,
and performed the most inelegant move I’ve ever seen. XD
As for Lobby, erm, maybe best to draw a veil over him.
Spent far too much of his time picking balls out of nets... well, actually, shouting at Radoi while Radoi picked the ball out of the net.
“I am displeased.”
Make the most of the Radoi sighting, btw, cos this is the only photo I’ve got of him. The media are obsessed with him but they take just one photo of his back, wtf?
Here’s Scary Bald Bourceanu.
Still scary, still bald - and with bonus little arms like Chivu’s. (The media seemed pretty pleased with his performance, too.)
Nicolita makes a :o face upon sighting the Rare Yellow-Legged Croatian.
Florentin seems to be flying in all his pictures;
now, that’s what I call studs-up.
Looks uncomfortable, too. Yeowch.
Goian was universally despised for contributing to both Croatia’s goals. Whoops.
(Varga closed his eyes so he couldn’t see Romania losing.)
Look, you know Nesu’s hair is bad when you see a photo that’s out of focus and from a horrible angle, yet you still know it’s him.
He and his hair got strangled by a rogue Croat.
I mean, not only is the gadgy cheating, but he’s incredibly ugly -
look at that mouth, wtf?! (Codrea’s trying to escape.)
D’you think Ovidiu wore that resigned expression all match?
Either way, I wish they’d get different compression shorts. Those neon things are killing my eyes. DX
Question: is Piti shouting instructions to the players here, or to Adelina?
Tamas seems to have escaped serious facial damage when he got his mug smashed in - he may be in pain, but he’s still pretty,
though, like nearly all the Romanians, he should think about getting a tan.
He and a passing Croatian did a quick Hokey Cokey.
CROATIANS, DO NOT PICK ON BUCUR! He’s half your size, for fuck’s sake!
Yes, we know, photographer, that glowy screen thing says 1-2. Because we lost.
Florentin ignores the annoying chessboard people,
while everyone else looks delighted, wtf?! I hope this pic was from Marica’s goal celebration.
*Plans how to punish everyone for failing*
And there we go.
Better late than never, eh?