Fear.
I fear I am losing her.
Something has happened.
I can feel it.
She wouldn't talk to me today.
I can't sleep.
Strange thoughts swim
Like villians in horror movies
They don't run
They sneak up on you
When you thought
You made it
It tragic and you fall victim
It's bleeding.
I'm freezing.
I can't stop waiting
Like there is some light
There Is some hope
Like I will come out of this better
But I fear the cost
I fear she think's it's lost
I will go out swinging
I will fucking go out swinging
I can't stop thinking about it
I could pull out my eyes
And I would still see her
I don't want to feel that again
I am going out swinging
I want to hold on to every
Moment I hold dear
And I don't want to let that go
I am mad this time
I was anger before
I can't be the only one this fired up
If I am then it is a lost cause
And I should just give in
But I can't just let it die
I've lost alot of things so far
And I don't want to lose this
I miss her
I love her
I didn't say LOVED
It's still going on albeit
Critical condition
But still beating
It's got something to fight for
I could do it
I could forgive her
I can't forget her
I would try, if I had to
But she would be there
Of the face of ever girl
That turns away when I look
Everytime I hear maybe in a crowd
Fuck
....
I don't even know
what she's thinking anymore
I used to
She has been cold lately
Short answers
Long pauses
There is something I don't know
Something big
Something I wish I didn't know
Now that I think about it
Maybe I think too much
Maybe not enough
I feel sick
I feel it at 2 in the morning
I hope for the best
I hope my over active
Imagination gets the best of me
But she didn't sound too optimistic
The beer is half full
The cigarettes are all gone
I don't know how to handle
What's about to happen
I wish it was easy again
We could just be star crossed lovers
Forgetting the world around us
Doing what we have to do
Just to be back with each other again
Sit on the phone every night
Just to hear her voice
....
I want this to be over
I want this past us
I want to get married
I want to have our fucking kids
And have our fucking family
And it's going to be fucking perfect
My goals are set
I know how to get there
It's alot of fucking work
I'm willing and able
Just try and stop me
You'll have to pull the plug
Before this heart stops beating
Before these lungs stop breathing
...
I hope she doesn't give up
Just not like before.
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