His Private Hell
Challenge Twelve: March Madness
Title:His Private Hell
Author: Sneaky_Rhae
Wizard/Witch:Dean Thomas/Hannah Abbott
Rating/Warnings: G/PG There's a swear word in there.
Genre: Romance/Despair
Word count: 500
Prompt: private apology
Summary: How do you tell someone you don't love them?
He hated himself for what he was about to do. He knew with all of his being that Hannah was all the woman he should ever want or need, but as hard as he tried to foster any feelings at all for her, the farther they seemed from his reach. Worse yet, every day she seemed to be even more in love with him. Dean knew that this would be better for both of them and he hoped she could live with just a friendship.
He could still hear the music from the dance from where he was waiting for Hannah on the castle lawn. The spring rains had washed the grayness of winter away and everything seemed to be fresh and new. Even the air felt lighter, which didn’t help the heaviness of Dean’s heart. As he watched Hannah walk toward him, smiling as always, he steeled himself for how she might react to what he had to say and cast a privacy spell.
“Dean? Did you want to talk about something?”
“Just stop, Hannah. I need you to stop. Please.” God, he felt like such a bastard.
“Stop what, Dean? I don’t understand.” The confusion on her face nearly broke him. Surely he could pretend to love her. No, that just wouldn’t fair to either of them. She deserved to be with someone who could love her, someone who would adore her more than anything else.
“Stop loving me, Hannah. You’re so nice to me, so sweet, and so beautiful and I want to love you so bad, but I just don’t. I can’t. Every day I try to love you, because I know how great it could be, but I just don’t, Hannah. I’m so sorry, really. I know it isn’t okay, but I hope that we can still be friends. You mean a lot to me Hannah, really you do, but I just don’t love you.”
He reached out to her and took her into his arms and hoped that she wouldn’t cry. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt her, but when he felt her start to shake with sobs, he knew he had done just that.
After a few moments, Hannah broke out of his embrace. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry too, Dean, but I can’t. I’ve been down this road too many times to try to be friends with you. It always ends the same way for me and this time I’m just not strong enough to make it through.”
Dean watched as Hannah walked back into the castle without looking back. When she was out of his sight, he sank to the ground, the dew clinging to his dress robes. He hoped that one day he could talk his stupid heart into feeling for Hannah what he knew he should. He hoped that he hadn’t lost her forever and he could find his way back into her heart.
Author's Notes: How's that for autobiographical? It didn't really happen quite this way, as I am a little more understanding than Hannah, but it's pretty darn close. I need to start writing more whimsical stuff.