who knows.

[romancexox]

I feel terrible and what's worse is that it seems to be a trend. I wish to God that I was wased,  I could be, I know I have some Vodka hiding around here somewhere. I don't even feel that I can talk to anyone about how I feel. I think I'm going to go talk to a counselor soon because this battle that's raging in my mind has to stop.  I can't believe this happend. I can't believe I fell this recked and ruined, I haven't felt this way in years. Not since my elementry and middle school days when the other kids would call me "cunt-face-whore-bag" everyday.
I really need to get on the fast track to happy. I talked with a couple people today and I finaly know the one question what's going to help me with that.  I'm scared- no, terrified of the answers to come.
I think that all I can do right now is put on my ear phones, turn up the music and hope for the best.