(no subject)
So, like many in the DC area, I work in a federal office, and was sent home early on Tuesday morning after the World Trade Centers and the Pentagon were attacked. And like many around the world, I watched in horror as the news reports came in throughout Tuesday, my eyes glued to the television for 14 hours straight. But I had an even more personal reason for watching: my aunt worked in the WTC, and we had no way of knowing if she'd been in the building when it collapsed. All the phone lines to New York were jammed, and we tried relentlessly all day to break through and reach her house. Finally, at 11:49 PM on Tuesday night, we were able to reach her. By some miracle of fate, she'd taken the day off sick because of back pain, and hadn't been anywhere near her office when it happened. Needless to say, we were all very relieved.
But you know, it's kind of odd... My emotions all day Tuesday and Wednesday, even during those incredibly tense hours while we waited for any news about Aunt Judy, where totally out of whack from what they should have been. I had this incredible emotional disconnect; I couldn't feel a thing about it, really. Part of it was just me being stoic in the face of adversity, but I think maybe I was in shock or something too. The whole thing seemed so unreal, like I was watching a disaster movie, like any minute someone was going to pull a George Orwell and announce that it was all a big hoax... I just couldn't wrap my brain around it, couldn't do much except just get on with life. Until last night, that is...
I don't know what it was, really, that suddenly brought it all home for me... I think it was watching CNN interview a woman who'd been working in the WTC when it was hit, and hearing her tell how there were three people in her office and she's the only one who made it out alive... All of a sudden, I just broke down crying and couldn't stop. I finally crawled off to bed and just lay there in tears until I finally fell asleep. Everything seems so much more real now...
And I don't know if life will ever be the same.
Oh, I'll move on, like everyone else. I already have been, in fact, probably a lot sooner than most -- I'm nothing if not resilient. But everywhere I look, there are subtle reminders of what happened Tuesday morning. It's there in the increased security at my office -- the most I've seen at NIST in the 13 years I've lived in Gaithersburg. It's there in the flags hanging from my neighbor's window. It's there in the eyes and voices of people around me. It's all around me.
The face of America has changed forever.
But you know, it's kind of odd... My emotions all day Tuesday and Wednesday, even during those incredibly tense hours while we waited for any news about Aunt Judy, where totally out of whack from what they should have been. I had this incredible emotional disconnect; I couldn't feel a thing about it, really. Part of it was just me being stoic in the face of adversity, but I think maybe I was in shock or something too. The whole thing seemed so unreal, like I was watching a disaster movie, like any minute someone was going to pull a George Orwell and announce that it was all a big hoax... I just couldn't wrap my brain around it, couldn't do much except just get on with life. Until last night, that is...
I don't know what it was, really, that suddenly brought it all home for me... I think it was watching CNN interview a woman who'd been working in the WTC when it was hit, and hearing her tell how there were three people in her office and she's the only one who made it out alive... All of a sudden, I just broke down crying and couldn't stop. I finally crawled off to bed and just lay there in tears until I finally fell asleep. Everything seems so much more real now...
And I don't know if life will ever be the same.
Oh, I'll move on, like everyone else. I already have been, in fact, probably a lot sooner than most -- I'm nothing if not resilient. But everywhere I look, there are subtle reminders of what happened Tuesday morning. It's there in the increased security at my office -- the most I've seen at NIST in the 13 years I've lived in Gaithersburg. It's there in the flags hanging from my neighbor's window. It's there in the eyes and voices of people around me. It's all around me.
The face of America has changed forever.