whats the dillio? fuck if i know.
Ok so F' the world...and a couple people in it. Wow, it seems like ever since i got back from vacation ive dealt with nothing but a bunch of bull shitty drama. which is typical. i dont know why im surprised. But i feel as if im being cheated on...numerous times. I mean im aware of one occasion that involved some hooters bitch. (not saying that all hooters girls are sluts, just this one inparticular.) I think im going to drive to hooters and introduce myself to her. Im not gonna be mean to her, or say any "rude" comments. (even though i dont think she understands politeness when she knows someone has a gf, but still proceeds to mess with them.) Im just going to introduce myself and be the sweet and innocent girl that i am. (well most of the time i am. ) but anyways, ya know...ya figure that since I know for sure that ive been cheated on the 1st time that i'd drop him and his nonsense like it aint no thang, but somethings holding me back. and i guess im just waiting around to figure out what it is.I have so much f'in pent up anger and frustration, and the one person who should fall victim to my anger, is the one who im supposed to love. i dont get it. One thing is said, but actions prove another.It sucks...i find myself at the bottom of his to do list...behind weed and hooters girls.and im still with him. I feel so far from him tho so i guess it doesnt matter anyways. I guess im just one of those foolish, idiodic girls who believe that it wont happen again. Wow, i cant believe i..brittany roland... fall into this category. Its sucha tragedy.
But i guess i can blame my irritability (f' if i know how to spell...i really dont care.) on the lack of sleep ive gotten these past few days...i didnt fall asleep last night til about 6:15 am. I dont know why. i think my hours are still f'ed up from being away. But i talked to a couple people worked on my scrapbook...and just sat around. Then the coolest person ever Chris G calls me up at sometime close to 6. Turns out he was on his way home, and his car ran out of gas, and he was like 10 miles from home. wow i know the feeling...expect i was about 30 miles from home in the middle of del prado. But it also wasnt at 5 something in the morning either, so he did have some sort of dilemma.Good thing he kinda patched things up with a certain someone,who drove and got him. I hope he got home alright.I would have driven out there and taken him home, but i dont know where my car is. My dad like took it and hid ti somewhere. it sucks ass. I still have to talk to him, about all that. Im dreading it. I think i'd rather be shot in the leg, drug out into the middle of the desert and left there to be picked to death by the buzzards, and dry up like a raisin in the hot sun, than have to talk to my dad. He's just too damn intimedating. but anyways...u know listening to dashboard when ur already depressed doesnt do much good. I used to think they mad me feel better, but in reality i just feel worse...but with a lil more anger. But i still listen...i think their music is healing in some way.
wow all im doing is bitching. I think im gonna shut the fuck up.
alright well im gonna go for a long, long run, i ate way too much last night and need to get rid of some of this...flabby shit on my body. Even so, i dont have anything else to do. seems to me someone would rather get stoned than see me anyways. i dont understand why people pretend to care when they really dont. Its a mind boggler. but i guess its a good thing that i know they dont fuckin care, instead of thinking they do, when they really dont.
god dammit.
But i guess i can blame my irritability (f' if i know how to spell...i really dont care.) on the lack of sleep ive gotten these past few days...i didnt fall asleep last night til about 6:15 am. I dont know why. i think my hours are still f'ed up from being away. But i talked to a couple people worked on my scrapbook...and just sat around. Then the coolest person ever Chris G calls me up at sometime close to 6. Turns out he was on his way home, and his car ran out of gas, and he was like 10 miles from home. wow i know the feeling...expect i was about 30 miles from home in the middle of del prado. But it also wasnt at 5 something in the morning either, so he did have some sort of dilemma.Good thing he kinda patched things up with a certain someone,who drove and got him. I hope he got home alright.I would have driven out there and taken him home, but i dont know where my car is. My dad like took it and hid ti somewhere. it sucks ass. I still have to talk to him, about all that. Im dreading it. I think i'd rather be shot in the leg, drug out into the middle of the desert and left there to be picked to death by the buzzards, and dry up like a raisin in the hot sun, than have to talk to my dad. He's just too damn intimedating. but anyways...u know listening to dashboard when ur already depressed doesnt do much good. I used to think they mad me feel better, but in reality i just feel worse...but with a lil more anger. But i still listen...i think their music is healing in some way.
wow all im doing is bitching. I think im gonna shut the fuck up.
alright well im gonna go for a long, long run, i ate way too much last night and need to get rid of some of this...flabby shit on my body. Even so, i dont have anything else to do. seems to me someone would rather get stoned than see me anyways. i dont understand why people pretend to care when they really dont. Its a mind boggler. but i guess its a good thing that i know they dont fuckin care, instead of thinking they do, when they really dont.
god dammit.