(no subject)

Jun 16, 2002 19:45

Ok now Im really lost... and maybe a little bit frusterated... Im not sure how to spell that but I think you get the point. See I started going out with this guy.. and the bad thing is.... is i was just using this guy to pass the time till my Billy got back for good. And last night I was with my boyfriend and he was telling me, how he was falling in love with me. I feel like such a bitch cuz i dont know how Im going to break this to him. I care about this guy a lot and its not as easy it seems to be. This guy does so much for me no matter what I need hes always there. But I have a lot of friends like that and I thank God for that. I mean without my friends where would I be?? They have always been there when nobody else was.... thanks guys!! But yeah.... last night was a upsetting night... For people who dont know already I hate being around drunk people. My boyfriend came and picked me up and took me back to his cousin's house where everyone was drinking that was the first bad thing that happened. Thn he kept pressuring me or sex.... sorry but no I dont do that.And of course it was Saturday so I was depending on my girls to put me back in a good mood.... but then i found out they had been drinking too. I know you guys just want to have fun... But obviously nobody knows how much I care for my friends. I dont want anybody to end up with a life they cant handle.... I want them to be happy with themselves and their decisions. That means more to me then anything else in the world. I reall could careless about my life as long as the people I care about most are happy. Im not tryng to ruin anybodys fun... Im just tellig you how I honestly feel, if you guys want to drink fine, but dont come by me when you're drunk or have been drinking please.... it just really upsets me, I cant expess that enough. And trust me its better to say no, then say yes and feel like shit afterwards. An plus if you say n it will make you feel better knowing you could be saving your life. And it may be harder then it seems to be to me.... But Im a weak person if I can do it you can. Just think if you drink you canget tickets, or een worse you can die.. Just think of all the people you hear about dying in car accidents involving alchol. That could be you... Ive lost a friend like tht once and I dont want to loose anyone else. I really care for everyone and Im sorry if Im upsetting you guys cuz you've all heard it from me before I just want to express all my feelings. I really dislike my dad and I dont want my kids to hate me... maybe you guys need to find some motivation to make you stop I found mine..............
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