Am I the only one this stuff happens to?
So let's set the scene. Here I am, dicking around in Town and Country after a workout. What am I there to buy? Dish detergent and laundry detergent. What can I say, I've got some dirty things that need washing. So instead I'm looking at shampoo because I'm sick of how my current shampoo smells and I just want new shampoo. I find a brand that I like and I start popping the tops open, one by one, to see what they smell like. I do not want to repeat the mistake of buying shampoo that I do not like the smell of. I get to the 4th bottle or so and pop the top open. Presumably, due to the pressure differences in Bozeman, a little globule of shampoo explodes out of the bottle and directly into my right eyeball. What the hell just happened? I am in so much pain! My eye starts watering incessantly and I keep rubbing it with the back of my hand. I look around and feel grateful that I am the only person in the aisle. Wow this still really hurts! I think it's getting worse! I need to go home right now. But I can't leave without buying my things. I get in line and wait impatiently. There are only two clerks and the lines are equally long. I can only hope that I don't have makeup running down my face, or worse, blood. Oh no, the clerk is talking to the people in front of me about mead. Mead? Why mead? I decide to try the other line. Oh no, two bros just got in line with a bunch of candy. Ow I really hope my eye isn't dripping blood, because the amount of pain I am in could totally merit that. Ok it's my turn now. I try not to make eye contact with the clerk. He does a double take. He knows something is wrong with me, but he doesn't say anything about it. Good. I get in my car, go home, and flush my eye out for several minutes. At least my roommates got a good laugh.