cleanliness
well, i finally got my room into a liveable condition, so time to sit down and lj so i can tell my very best dlbf in the world who i haven't been able to talk to in WAY too long (probably only been like a week though!) what the hell is up.
so, i came to school on a sunday i guess, and pretty much drank straight through to wed night, when i puked all over tori's room, and my clothes. she apparently had to walk me to the shower and shower me or something, and then we slept in her common room because her room was pukey. next morning i cleaned it up. and as soon as we woke up she called kathy, dr. thomas, and some alch counselor at duh and made appts with them for me. so, i put on her clothes, walked home, changed, got some coffee in an attempt to sober up or wake up or something, and went to kathy's. next day dr. baker's. both were fairly helpful. made a worksheet, talked about some feelings, cried, smiled, thought, whatever. friday and saturday i did alright. drank, a bit drunk on sat probably, but pretty aware both nights. good. sarah is def looking out for me too.. she saw me at the lightweight party and said "oh shit!".. it was funny but sweet but sad too.
(interestingly i got a lot of writing done those first few days when i wasn't really doing anything. not cleaning, or working or (consciously) stressing, just kinda drinkin a bit, chillin and writing. that at least i feel was fun)
SO i think i acted that way for the first week because i am pretty nervous about the beginning of this year. i have to meet with three or four different advisors in order to try and get a grant for what i want my senior project to be. not to be talked about though until i feel more secure about this. that, and the fact that i'm not sure when i'm graduating, is really eating me up. i also have yet to pick up my futon from mike's and i can so feel him being pissed off all the way from high street. he left me a message about it, on MY PHONE, BEFORE I DROPPED IT IN THE FUCKING TOILET. oh yes, that's right, the TOILET. good freaking god. i was on the phone with tor walking back from the party, taking a pee in alpha delta pizza, and i turned around after flushing and it fell in there. and now it's dead.
tor and i walked back there because mary kate had really wanted to meet her, but by the time we got there mk was gone. i ended up introducing her to a bunch of other random rowers, drinking more, then we went home and kyle let us smoke some. cate and kyle and greg were in the room.. they seem like great kids, i'm pysched to get to know them better. greg was already nice enough to drive us all to walmart where i got some shit for my room, which i have JUST put together. and that pretty much brings us full circle. it must be time to stop.
notice there's nothing on classes, because i have yet to go to any classes. tomorrow for that. running the road race, going to class, and going to some office hours. i think if i can get just one meeting out of the way i will feel better about the whole process.
okay, miss you tons diff
so, i came to school on a sunday i guess, and pretty much drank straight through to wed night, when i puked all over tori's room, and my clothes. she apparently had to walk me to the shower and shower me or something, and then we slept in her common room because her room was pukey. next morning i cleaned it up. and as soon as we woke up she called kathy, dr. thomas, and some alch counselor at duh and made appts with them for me. so, i put on her clothes, walked home, changed, got some coffee in an attempt to sober up or wake up or something, and went to kathy's. next day dr. baker's. both were fairly helpful. made a worksheet, talked about some feelings, cried, smiled, thought, whatever. friday and saturday i did alright. drank, a bit drunk on sat probably, but pretty aware both nights. good. sarah is def looking out for me too.. she saw me at the lightweight party and said "oh shit!".. it was funny but sweet but sad too.
(interestingly i got a lot of writing done those first few days when i wasn't really doing anything. not cleaning, or working or (consciously) stressing, just kinda drinkin a bit, chillin and writing. that at least i feel was fun)
SO i think i acted that way for the first week because i am pretty nervous about the beginning of this year. i have to meet with three or four different advisors in order to try and get a grant for what i want my senior project to be. not to be talked about though until i feel more secure about this. that, and the fact that i'm not sure when i'm graduating, is really eating me up. i also have yet to pick up my futon from mike's and i can so feel him being pissed off all the way from high street. he left me a message about it, on MY PHONE, BEFORE I DROPPED IT IN THE FUCKING TOILET. oh yes, that's right, the TOILET. good freaking god. i was on the phone with tor walking back from the party, taking a pee in alpha delta pizza, and i turned around after flushing and it fell in there. and now it's dead.
tor and i walked back there because mary kate had really wanted to meet her, but by the time we got there mk was gone. i ended up introducing her to a bunch of other random rowers, drinking more, then we went home and kyle let us smoke some. cate and kyle and greg were in the room.. they seem like great kids, i'm pysched to get to know them better. greg was already nice enough to drive us all to walmart where i got some shit for my room, which i have JUST put together. and that pretty much brings us full circle. it must be time to stop.
notice there's nothing on classes, because i have yet to go to any classes. tomorrow for that. running the road race, going to class, and going to some office hours. i think if i can get just one meeting out of the way i will feel better about the whole process.
okay, miss you tons diff