well
written things are just trying to capture a moment or a feeling or a perspective. they aren't in stone. and i find that whenever i write something down i feel nothing like it the next moment. everything is at most a half formed idea. the best anyone can do is sit on the fence between what they thought yesterday and what they will think tomorrow.
in summary, i didn't mean to worry anyone. please, you all know i think those things sometimes. :)
but not when i'm with people i care about, feeling felt or loved. then i feel fine. then i don't even have to think about how i feel. i just feel it.
i'm sitting by the same window today, on the oppisite side. coincidence? most definitely, but, i noticed it, so now it's more than that. it has a symbology (i really cannot spell) that i can enjoy, and then laugh at myself for enjoying, and then go on with my day. which ought to be good by the way. up at 530 to lifegaurd, worked out, might go to lunch with mel and her family (mel gave me a button today that says "la la la i can't hear you! la la la" she said it's so i can ignore people who say things that are stupid and make me feel bad. awww) and then first day in the monkey lab.
in summary, i didn't mean to worry anyone. please, you all know i think those things sometimes. :)
but not when i'm with people i care about, feeling felt or loved. then i feel fine. then i don't even have to think about how i feel. i just feel it.
i'm sitting by the same window today, on the oppisite side. coincidence? most definitely, but, i noticed it, so now it's more than that. it has a symbology (i really cannot spell) that i can enjoy, and then laugh at myself for enjoying, and then go on with my day. which ought to be good by the way. up at 530 to lifegaurd, worked out, might go to lunch with mel and her family (mel gave me a button today that says "la la la i can't hear you! la la la" she said it's so i can ignore people who say things that are stupid and make me feel bad. awww) and then first day in the monkey lab.