(no subject)
i don’t talk to my mom anymore, but she sent me an email (through my dad, she does not know how to use computers) about her belief that my entire life is about being gay, because i work for a gay organization, have gay friends, live with cristina, etc. i wrote her this to try to explain, and i’m kind of proud of it, so i thought i’d share:
Dear Mom,
I understand that you have conflicted feelings about people being gay, and may find it 'gross' or 'unnatural'. I am sorry you felt you could not share this feeling with me earlier, and understand that you kept it back out of respect for my identity. Thank you for that.
I did not ask to be gay, and I did not choose to be gay. I believe very strongly that god made me this way. I have known that I am attracted much more to women than to men, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, since I was about 12 years old. While I did not choose it, I do not wish it were another way; to me, being gay seems like any other genetic thing about ourselves, like eye color, race, height, hair color, etc.
I think that possibly you are confused about the role my sexuality, as you would say, plays in my life. You say that homosexuality is my "passion." That is simply not so. My passion is, and always has been, in creating a world that is safe, accepting, and ensures equal rights to all people, regardless of race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation. This struggle is referred to collectively as the social justice movement. Over the past 8 years of high school and college, I have been active in many different areas of this movement; for example, while at NYU i did coursework and internships that pertained to voting rights, housing rights, ending racial discrimination, and ensuring reproductive rights for all women.
As a gay woman, the issue of discrimination against gay people is one that affects me very personally. You may not know this, but every year thousands of gay people are murdered simply for being, or, in some cases, just for being perceived to be gay. I personally have been harassed before while walking down the street. I am not legally allowed to marry the person I wish to spend my life with. In many states, I could be fired for being gay. In many countries around the world, gay people are routinely put to death.
I find these injustices unnacceptable. There is nothing wrong with being gay, just like there is nothing wrong with being Jewish. Perhaps you can identify, as a member of a religious minority, with some of the struggles minorities face on a daily basis.
The non profit I work at works with the media to ensure that accurate coverage of gay issues is given. I do serious work all day long. I am paid to write, research, and edit. I am paid a very good salary for a first year graduate, and was selected from an applicant pool of over 100 for my job. Perhaps Dad would be willing to share with you some of the newsletters and press releases I have already written here.
I am not sure where my life will take me; I know I do want an advanced degree of some kind. Perhaps social work, perhaps law, who knows, maybe I'll even go to med school some day. The world is open to me, because I am a bright, passionate, kind young woman.
Being gay is not my passion, fighting for the rights of everyone is. Because you live with Daddy and have had sex with men, and watch movies about straight people and read books by straight people, and go to establishments run by straight people, does that make being straight your passion?
In my free time, I do a lot of reading. Lately I've been reading a lot about Jewish history, as well as the history of the women's rights movement. I enjoy going to the movies, bowling, and taking trips upstate to take in the scenery. I have wonderful friends, who identify as all sorts of things; black, white, christian, jewish, gay, straight, male, female, etc.
I am happy and I hope you are too.
Love,
Joanna
Dear Mom,
I understand that you have conflicted feelings about people being gay, and may find it 'gross' or 'unnatural'. I am sorry you felt you could not share this feeling with me earlier, and understand that you kept it back out of respect for my identity. Thank you for that.
I did not ask to be gay, and I did not choose to be gay. I believe very strongly that god made me this way. I have known that I am attracted much more to women than to men, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, since I was about 12 years old. While I did not choose it, I do not wish it were another way; to me, being gay seems like any other genetic thing about ourselves, like eye color, race, height, hair color, etc.
I think that possibly you are confused about the role my sexuality, as you would say, plays in my life. You say that homosexuality is my "passion." That is simply not so. My passion is, and always has been, in creating a world that is safe, accepting, and ensures equal rights to all people, regardless of race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation. This struggle is referred to collectively as the social justice movement. Over the past 8 years of high school and college, I have been active in many different areas of this movement; for example, while at NYU i did coursework and internships that pertained to voting rights, housing rights, ending racial discrimination, and ensuring reproductive rights for all women.
As a gay woman, the issue of discrimination against gay people is one that affects me very personally. You may not know this, but every year thousands of gay people are murdered simply for being, or, in some cases, just for being perceived to be gay. I personally have been harassed before while walking down the street. I am not legally allowed to marry the person I wish to spend my life with. In many states, I could be fired for being gay. In many countries around the world, gay people are routinely put to death.
I find these injustices unnacceptable. There is nothing wrong with being gay, just like there is nothing wrong with being Jewish. Perhaps you can identify, as a member of a religious minority, with some of the struggles minorities face on a daily basis.
The non profit I work at works with the media to ensure that accurate coverage of gay issues is given. I do serious work all day long. I am paid to write, research, and edit. I am paid a very good salary for a first year graduate, and was selected from an applicant pool of over 100 for my job. Perhaps Dad would be willing to share with you some of the newsletters and press releases I have already written here.
I am not sure where my life will take me; I know I do want an advanced degree of some kind. Perhaps social work, perhaps law, who knows, maybe I'll even go to med school some day. The world is open to me, because I am a bright, passionate, kind young woman.
Being gay is not my passion, fighting for the rights of everyone is. Because you live with Daddy and have had sex with men, and watch movies about straight people and read books by straight people, and go to establishments run by straight people, does that make being straight your passion?
In my free time, I do a lot of reading. Lately I've been reading a lot about Jewish history, as well as the history of the women's rights movement. I enjoy going to the movies, bowling, and taking trips upstate to take in the scenery. I have wonderful friends, who identify as all sorts of things; black, white, christian, jewish, gay, straight, male, female, etc.
I am happy and I hope you are too.
Love,
Joanna