I've been out of my mind lately...
So most who used to read this probably won't because it's been so freakin long. Anyhow. Here's the low down...
Since my last post, to the best of my knowledge I have...
Broken a heart (Besides my own)
Experienced "phone sex" and just how annoying it really is...
Been in roughly 4 long distance relationships lasting anywhere from a month to abotu three days...
Learned my probation was actually a total of FIVE years and not 10 like florida was kindly enough to fuck up in the transfer paperwork. So I now have TWO more years....instead of seven...
Spent more hours waisting away at world of warcraft than I have at anything else like whining, sleeping, jerking off, not being myself...believe it or not...
Have become a worship leader, yeah really, at a local small church
Discovered that religion has been the source of lies that has hurt me the most besides myself
Realized how we DO live under God's Grace...other wise I'd be fucked...
Was given the privilege and honor to hear the story of one friend of mine who has an amazing gift of being "in tune" with the spiritual world unlike anything I've ever seen before
And much much more!
Will there be a chance my friends will see this? Yep. Could they freak out? Eh, maybe. Doubt it knowing them. Would I care if they did? Naw.
Folks I've not done hardly shit about my life. My healing process has only made it this far by the Grace of God. I am still working 8 dollars an hour, 20 hour work weeks, behind BADLY on bills, to the point where my own boss is paying my restitution to help me live through this nightmare of probation. I am struggling to find meaning but continually run back to my fantasy world of warcraft or whatever may be on the market. It's cheap thrills to hide and mask the pain that I have concealed in me for so long. I am at the point where I am ready to stop hiding. I want to make something of myself, DO something with my life. Find a beautiful and gorgeous woman to share this life with, find meaning, reach out to people, see lives get changed and healed for the better through my participation, wether it be 100% or just part. I don't care. I just want to see it happen.
For those of you who do pray for me. Pray that God kicks my ass if needed to get me to LIVE. I need to. I've been dead for so long. Jon? Jason? You know what I'm talking about. I'm sick of this miserable existence. Even if it's just a simple life, let it be a fulfilling one. Let my life count for some thing.
That's all.
Since my last post, to the best of my knowledge I have...
Broken a heart (Besides my own)
Experienced "phone sex" and just how annoying it really is...
Been in roughly 4 long distance relationships lasting anywhere from a month to abotu three days...
Learned my probation was actually a total of FIVE years and not 10 like florida was kindly enough to fuck up in the transfer paperwork. So I now have TWO more years....instead of seven...
Spent more hours waisting away at world of warcraft than I have at anything else like whining, sleeping, jerking off, not being myself...believe it or not...
Have become a worship leader, yeah really, at a local small church
Discovered that religion has been the source of lies that has hurt me the most besides myself
Realized how we DO live under God's Grace...other wise I'd be fucked...
Was given the privilege and honor to hear the story of one friend of mine who has an amazing gift of being "in tune" with the spiritual world unlike anything I've ever seen before
And much much more!
Will there be a chance my friends will see this? Yep. Could they freak out? Eh, maybe. Doubt it knowing them. Would I care if they did? Naw.
Folks I've not done hardly shit about my life. My healing process has only made it this far by the Grace of God. I am still working 8 dollars an hour, 20 hour work weeks, behind BADLY on bills, to the point where my own boss is paying my restitution to help me live through this nightmare of probation. I am struggling to find meaning but continually run back to my fantasy world of warcraft or whatever may be on the market. It's cheap thrills to hide and mask the pain that I have concealed in me for so long. I am at the point where I am ready to stop hiding. I want to make something of myself, DO something with my life. Find a beautiful and gorgeous woman to share this life with, find meaning, reach out to people, see lives get changed and healed for the better through my participation, wether it be 100% or just part. I don't care. I just want to see it happen.
For those of you who do pray for me. Pray that God kicks my ass if needed to get me to LIVE. I need to. I've been dead for so long. Jon? Jason? You know what I'm talking about. I'm sick of this miserable existence. Even if it's just a simple life, let it be a fulfilling one. Let my life count for some thing.
That's all.