Episode ★ 12 ★
TONIGHT on the Report...
[ WHEN FANGIRLS ATTACK ]
The long-awaited results of the comic-book cover contest. Just how well did you depict my heroness? I'll tell you with the appropriate award for a hard nights work: cold hard LiveJournal cash.
[ UNMASKING THE MASKLESS ]
A new community tries to find out who I really am. Well, they're in for a surprise.
[ ROLEPLAY ANON MEME EPISODE II: CLONE WARS ]
With the rp_anon_meme moving on to greener pixels, two successors fight for supremacy. Who will with the Anonymous masses favor? But more importantly, who do I like?
My guest tonight has no idea they're my guest, so they better stay tuned to find out.
I'm back, Nation, with your weekly recommended dose of the Truth. This is The Colbert Roleplay Report.
Nation, welcomed back to the Colbert Roleplay Report. After an unexpected hiatus, I've turned to tell you what I've thought over the past few weeks I've been gone. Now, I know it must have been a shock to be without me, but if I know you think I assume I know everything, then you--while completely inconsolable--waited patiently for me to return. Well, I'm here now, so let's pick up from where we left off.
★ WHEN FANGIRLS ATTACK
The epic contest that began on Episode 10 has finally come to an equally epic conclusion. Nearly a month ago I called upon the Colbernation to show their devotion and skills with Photoshop in order to create a comic cover worthy of saving capeandcowl from the fangirl hordes. When a game full of Heroes needs saving, who better to answer the call than the Colonel of Truth: Stephen Colbert. And Nation, you answered that call and made me look as amazing as I always have.
But then it was mine turn. As Julio flipped through the submissions that crowded my Gmaiil Inbox, I knew I had a tough decision on my hands. The daunting power that was put in my hands by you, the realization that I was holding the hopes and dreams of many young undiscovered artists of the internet hit me like a YouTube cat flying into the wall. It was an important decision to make, so I consulted the person I trust the most: myself.
I took a long, hard look in the mirror and asked myself: how can I judge the love of myself? Apparently the answer was quite easily, but it has nevertheless left me with two winners. Like Justice and Freedom, Peanut Butter and Jelly, and Convictions and the Death Penalty, these cover winners make up a two-parter that will be sure to win the battle against rabid fangirlism that isn't directed towards America.
"When Fangirls Attack"
by evilbo
"This Isn't The Pairing You're Looking For"
by rii_namuras
These two are prime examples of what the Colbernation is about. So fangirls beware! Beneath those concealing Jedi Robes is an even greater Superhero waiting to strike. Congratulate these two on their win and prompt them to spend their Colbert Cash wisely at the LiveJournal store.
★ UNMASKING THE MASKLESS
There is a new community out there dedicated to finding out who is behind the mighty masked of LiveJournal. fuckitroleplay is trying to name the names behind such greats as coloneloftruth, awkwaaardturtle, and lesser known names that aren't as important. Their userinfo says that the com is merely a resource for the multitudes of questions that roleplaysecrets and Anon Memes get daily, but I know what it is really about...
They are trying to figure out who I, Stephen Colbert, am behind the username.
And frankly, Nation, I think they're asking a question that doesn't even need to be answered. It's right here in front of you, folks, and I don't hide behind an assumed identity. I am Stephen Colbert, my username is coloneloftruth, and if I were at capeandcowl, I would be none other than Tek Jensen. (Which pulls up pictures of Avril Lavigne on google image search for some reason.)
So, Nation, I'm asking you to tell the mod of this fuckitroleplay who I really am, before people start getting the wrong idea.
★ A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS...
With fandoms like Axis Powers Hetalia and Hellsing, the internet cries for an All-American Roleplay that stands for the things America stands for: freedom to be whatever you want to be-edingly, the ability to make enemies just as well as friends by telling them you cannot stand their characterization if it doesn't agree with you-edingly, and the foundations for which we can change our foundations to be whatever we want-edingly. roleplayedingly, a Roleplay that changes to fit whatever the mass opinion is at the time. The most American Roleplay besides any that has me in it. So if you want the ability to say what you want, when you want, and not having to hide behind the lack of an IP Address or username, join roleplayedingly today with your newestedingly account.
★ ROLEPLAY ANON MEME EPISODE II: CLONE WARS
On March 11th, 2009, the world of the Anonymous was shaken with the sudden retirement of rp_anon_meme. Not nearly a day later did a brave young hero arise from the Un-logged tears to take over and continue the legacy of the Anonymous Memes: rp_anon_redux. Rejoicing like teenage girls on Spring Break sounded throughout the internet, for the Anonymous would have a new place to sling mud and wank about whatever came to mind, while posting random YouTube videos and starting sing-alongs for no apparent reason. This, my friends, is the foundations for the doctrine of the Anonymous. But it seems that the Anonymous are as hard to please as I always thought.
On April 6th the new Anon Meme took off, with one twist: no anonymous commenting. Now, I consider this to be an improvement on previous Anon Memes. Before you go saying that Stephen Colbert is against what the Anonymous are saying, I will point a finger right back at you and say that you are wrong. What the Anonymous are saying is fine. Unsolicited Roleplaying Criticism? Fine. Shameless self-plugging? Who doesn't? No, what I don't like about the Anonymous is their inability to back up their convictions with a username. Point and wag your fingers, Nation, but do it with the balls to stand behind what you say. If you're worried someone's going to point it back at you, get a bigger finger.
But apparently not everyone feels the same way I do. Now, this is news to me. But the string of 300+ comments laughing at the rp_anon_redux and demanding that Anonymous Screening be turned off. I stand by the rp_anon_redux with their comment,
"I'm just sad that a new one was started up so quickly. I was having so much fun laughing at all these pathetic fools who absolutely had to have their wank fix omg omg right now."
Now that is a hefty pair of balls. Standing up against the Anonymous, even if you're supposed to be catering to them by running an Anon Meme, is no easy feat. They further put their balls of steel on display when a challenger appeared! When rp_anonmeme started advertising their own Anon Meme, rp_anon_redux was the bigger man and deleted each comment they made in advertising. Like the free market, the land of Internet Memes is always open for new competition. And even more like the free, Capitalist Market, existing companies can use their superior resources to crush out that competition. rp_anon_redux made a heroic effort, but to quote themselves, they "Lost the Game".
rp_anon_meme took back their previous patronage and passed on the reigns to rp_anonmeme. And let me say, I much prefer my Anon Memes without so much Anon in them. rp_anon_redux had the right idea, but it seems that even balls of steel in mocking the masses isn't enough to win. But who is the real winners of the game?
Me. Because even though I think that is rp_anonmeme is just more of the same, watching the Anonymous tear each other apart was enough to make my Monday morning even better when added with a Starbucks Coffee.
My guest tonight better be reading this. It was requested on roleplaysecrets, and with them being an Anon, my staff had no way of contacting them. So I'm calling you out, Awkward Turtle (awkwaaardturtle)!
[ WHEN FANGIRLS ATTACK ]
The long-awaited results of the comic-book cover contest. Just how well did you depict my heroness? I'll tell you with the appropriate award for a hard nights work: cold hard LiveJournal cash.
[ UNMASKING THE MASKLESS ]
A new community tries to find out who I really am. Well, they're in for a surprise.
[ ROLEPLAY ANON MEME EPISODE II: CLONE WARS ]
With the rp_anon_meme moving on to greener pixels, two successors fight for supremacy. Who will with the Anonymous masses favor? But more importantly, who do I like?
My guest tonight has no idea they're my guest, so they better stay tuned to find out.
I'm back, Nation, with your weekly recommended dose of the Truth. This is The Colbert Roleplay Report.
Nation, welcomed back to the Colbert Roleplay Report. After an unexpected hiatus, I've turned to tell you what I've thought over the past few weeks I've been gone. Now, I know it must have been a shock to be without me, but if I know you think I assume I know everything, then you--while completely inconsolable--waited patiently for me to return. Well, I'm here now, so let's pick up from where we left off.
★ WHEN FANGIRLS ATTACK
The epic contest that began on Episode 10 has finally come to an equally epic conclusion. Nearly a month ago I called upon the Colbernation to show their devotion and skills with Photoshop in order to create a comic cover worthy of saving capeandcowl from the fangirl hordes. When a game full of Heroes needs saving, who better to answer the call than the Colonel of Truth: Stephen Colbert. And Nation, you answered that call and made me look as amazing as I always have.
But then it was mine turn. As Julio flipped through the submissions that crowded my Gmaiil Inbox, I knew I had a tough decision on my hands. The daunting power that was put in my hands by you, the realization that I was holding the hopes and dreams of many young undiscovered artists of the internet hit me like a YouTube cat flying into the wall. It was an important decision to make, so I consulted the person I trust the most: myself.
I took a long, hard look in the mirror and asked myself: how can I judge the love of myself? Apparently the answer was quite easily, but it has nevertheless left me with two winners. Like Justice and Freedom, Peanut Butter and Jelly, and Convictions and the Death Penalty, these cover winners make up a two-parter that will be sure to win the battle against rabid fangirlism that isn't directed towards America.
"When Fangirls Attack"
by evilbo
"This Isn't The Pairing You're Looking For"
by rii_namuras
These two are prime examples of what the Colbernation is about. So fangirls beware! Beneath those concealing Jedi Robes is an even greater Superhero waiting to strike. Congratulate these two on their win and prompt them to spend their Colbert Cash wisely at the LiveJournal store.
★ UNMASKING THE MASKLESS
There is a new community out there dedicated to finding out who is behind the mighty masked of LiveJournal. fuckitroleplay is trying to name the names behind such greats as coloneloftruth, awkwaaardturtle, and lesser known names that aren't as important. Their userinfo says that the com is merely a resource for the multitudes of questions that roleplaysecrets and Anon Memes get daily, but I know what it is really about...
They are trying to figure out who I, Stephen Colbert, am behind the username.
And frankly, Nation, I think they're asking a question that doesn't even need to be answered. It's right here in front of you, folks, and I don't hide behind an assumed identity. I am Stephen Colbert, my username is coloneloftruth, and if I were at capeandcowl, I would be none other than Tek Jensen. (Which pulls up pictures of Avril Lavigne on google image search for some reason.)
So, Nation, I'm asking you to tell the mod of this fuckitroleplay who I really am, before people start getting the wrong idea.
★ A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS...
With fandoms like Axis Powers Hetalia and Hellsing, the internet cries for an All-American Roleplay that stands for the things America stands for: freedom to be whatever you want to be-edingly, the ability to make enemies just as well as friends by telling them you cannot stand their characterization if it doesn't agree with you-edingly, and the foundations for which we can change our foundations to be whatever we want-edingly. roleplayedingly, a Roleplay that changes to fit whatever the mass opinion is at the time. The most American Roleplay besides any that has me in it. So if you want the ability to say what you want, when you want, and not having to hide behind the lack of an IP Address or username, join roleplayedingly today with your newestedingly account.
★ ROLEPLAY ANON MEME EPISODE II: CLONE WARS
On March 11th, 2009, the world of the Anonymous was shaken with the sudden retirement of rp_anon_meme. Not nearly a day later did a brave young hero arise from the Un-logged tears to take over and continue the legacy of the Anonymous Memes: rp_anon_redux. Rejoicing like teenage girls on Spring Break sounded throughout the internet, for the Anonymous would have a new place to sling mud and wank about whatever came to mind, while posting random YouTube videos and starting sing-alongs for no apparent reason. This, my friends, is the foundations for the doctrine of the Anonymous. But it seems that the Anonymous are as hard to please as I always thought.
On April 6th the new Anon Meme took off, with one twist: no anonymous commenting. Now, I consider this to be an improvement on previous Anon Memes. Before you go saying that Stephen Colbert is against what the Anonymous are saying, I will point a finger right back at you and say that you are wrong. What the Anonymous are saying is fine. Unsolicited Roleplaying Criticism? Fine. Shameless self-plugging? Who doesn't? No, what I don't like about the Anonymous is their inability to back up their convictions with a username. Point and wag your fingers, Nation, but do it with the balls to stand behind what you say. If you're worried someone's going to point it back at you, get a bigger finger.
But apparently not everyone feels the same way I do. Now, this is news to me. But the string of 300+ comments laughing at the rp_anon_redux and demanding that Anonymous Screening be turned off. I stand by the rp_anon_redux with their comment,
"I'm just sad that a new one was started up so quickly. I was having so much fun laughing at all these pathetic fools who absolutely had to have their wank fix omg omg right now."
Now that is a hefty pair of balls. Standing up against the Anonymous, even if you're supposed to be catering to them by running an Anon Meme, is no easy feat. They further put their balls of steel on display when a challenger appeared! When rp_anonmeme started advertising their own Anon Meme, rp_anon_redux was the bigger man and deleted each comment they made in advertising. Like the free market, the land of Internet Memes is always open for new competition. And even more like the free, Capitalist Market, existing companies can use their superior resources to crush out that competition. rp_anon_redux made a heroic effort, but to quote themselves, they "Lost the Game".
rp_anon_meme took back their previous patronage and passed on the reigns to rp_anonmeme. And let me say, I much prefer my Anon Memes without so much Anon in them. rp_anon_redux had the right idea, but it seems that even balls of steel in mocking the masses isn't enough to win. But who is the real winners of the game?
Me. Because even though I think that is rp_anonmeme is just more of the same, watching the Anonymous tear each other apart was enough to make my Monday morning even better when added with a Starbucks Coffee.
My guest tonight better be reading this. It was requested on roleplaysecrets, and with them being an Anon, my staff had no way of contacting them. So I'm calling you out, Awkward Turtle (awkwaaardturtle)!