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Hi, mysterious reader.
I haven't updated my Journal in at least two months. My greatest apologies! I was taken into and out of mental hospitals, fighting with my mum and being meshuganah. And have I got a whole lotta news to tell ya!
A few days ago, I saw my new favourite film, the best film of the year, Heath Ledger's last film, Lily Cole's first film where she plays a major character, and the biggest masterpiece of the decade. They're all the same, one marvel-movie:
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Now, for those of you who were sceptical Lily doll-Cole would ever be an even remotely good actress after seeing St Trinian's (the only other Lily film I've ever watched)-- and I was once among you-- you're wrong. In an interview in UK Hello!, the redheaded beauty admitted that she was frightened and worried by the size of the film, but Heath taught her how to act well.
And act well she does.
As Dr Parnassus' daughter Valentina, Lily was extraordinary, and not just appearance-wise. Her portrayal of the girl living with her dad in a travelling theatre (or, as I've seen it called 5413 times, 'traveling theater') is blazing with emotion, yet shockingly, delicately, sweetly, mind-blowingly realistic, life-like and skilful. And, at one point in the movie, Lily looks so beautiful she doesn't even seem human.
And the plot, unless you've been vacationing on Mercury, is this: over a thousand years ago, Dr Parnassus makes a deal with the devil so he can live forever and tell whacky, wonderful stories. Many centuries later, the weirdo with a beardo meets the love of his life (FYI, she looks exactly like their child, Valentina, except she's a brunette, has long lush ringlets, and is dressed in an old-fashioned aqua suit and big, wide hat). When she's 60, she turns out to be pregnant (very realistic) and dies giving birth to You-Know-Who.
Now, fast-foward to modern-day London. The Devil has decided he'll steal Valentina from her papa when she turns 16, which is in a few days. After Satan meets Dr Parnassus again, they change the deal; the Gandalf lookalike has until his kid's 16th b-day to 'seduce' five souls before The Devil collects his five souls. If the don't do this, buh-bye Valentina. So Dr Parnassus, Valentina, the dwarf Percy and a clutzy, awkward guy named Anton whose job is to engourage people to go through the theatre's mirror (that's the only way into the Imaginarium, and the only way the doctor can collect his five souls) collect an enigmatic bloke with no memory who turns out to be called Tony (as in Blair, it seems). And Val fights with her daddy.
The mood is generally serious, gloomy and sombre (especially at the movie's very start), but it's actually very funny as well. The most hilarious moment was so funny I hard to work hard and control myself because I wanted to shriek/scream/squeal with laughter (it's a scene where Anton and Percy ask Tony some questions he doesn't know the answers to, and, out of nowhere, his mobile starts ringing). And the Imaginarium is awesome and lets the 'subconcious' minds of its visitors go berserk with surreal nonsense that often actually sorta makes sense. You get to see a forest of trees that are cardboard cutouts, tall ladders leading into clouds, flying jellyfish, and other dream-like imagery.
Also, people complained about the four actors playing Tony (Jude Law, Johnny Depp, Colin Farrel and Heath Ledger-- duh!) not resembling each other, and being completely different, and not even looking the same. Hate to be frank, guys, but I hard to work real hard to see the differences between 'the four Tonys'. I remember that Tony look like Jude Law at one stage and Johnny Depp at another point in the movie. That's it.
And every reviewer paid to review movies almost universally panned The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, but, when it comes to knowing how good a film is, I never, ever trust reviewers. IMHO, the only way you can know if a film's good, bad, mediocre, fantastic or frickin' awful is The Internet Movie Database. On the website, the movie is rated 7.5 out of 10 stars (and this based on the ratings of 3,511 different people!).
So, erm. IDK how to finish this post in an awesome way. I've considered ending it with the sexiest Hendrix photo of all time, except that he's not even referenced in the movie, or has his songs played. Maybe I'll post some jokes I made up and find embarrassing.
Q. What do cats and lesbians have in common?
A. They both love eating fish.
Q. What do you call a transvestite rocker with big lips?
A. Mick Dragger.
Q. Did you hear about Alan Moore rewriting Shakespeare's works?
A. He's already completed Rorschacho and Lauriet.