i hate my life ...
i hate my life ... it seems i got it so good right now but something key is missing ... i have a good job i like, i love the people there ... i have a loving family that would sacrifice anything for me ... for some reason i don't treat them like i should ... they are the only ones that are always there for me ... things are going good for me ... i have friends ... i'm going to college in the hopes of earning a good career down the road i'll enjoy ... but for some reason, i am not happy with my current stance in life ... i just don't know anymore ... i feel like giving up sometimes, but there is something lingering that keeps me going ... perhaps it is hope ... perhaps it is fear ... i just don't know ... i hate my life ... why does the human mind have to be so fucking complex and mysterious ... i believe it will only lead to the demise of our entire race one of these days ... sometimes i wonder why i was brought into this world ... many would claim belief in a higher being that placed everything into existence on its own behalf ... i cannot fathom this train of thought ... sometimes i wonder how the world would be without my presence from the instant of mine own conception ... i do not fear death ... all of my questions will be answered upon death ... but we are mortals ... we only get one shot for this answer ... yet at so great a cost ... the human mind is too powerful ... it aches to think of things sometimes ... as in present times for me ... is there such a thing as connection between two beings? i do not know as in all my feeble attempts ... they have failed ... i have failed ... i have failed myself countless times over ... i'm batting zero right now ... i am zero for infinity ... i do not know what to do with myself anymore ... i just do not know ... i hate my life