Adore
Title: Adore
Pairing: Junmyeon/Kyungsoo. Side Baekhyun/Chanyeol and Jongin/Yixing if you squint.
Rating: PG-13 for cursing and mentions of sex.
Word Count: 3468 words.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warnings: Cursing, Junmyeon being pathetic. Unbetaed because I can't keep a beta.
Summary: Junmyeon has an embarrassing crush on Kyungsoo and it seems like the entire dorm knows, save for Kyungsoo himself.
A/N: Written for creamismine as a part of capsandpizzas first exchange. I hope you liked it ^^ Crossposted to AO3 and AFF
It was wrong, Junmyeon knew, to have a favorite member. Picking one out of eleven boys as his favorite, but he couldn't help it. He still loved all the members like they were his family, but his favorite, he loved in a different way.
Junmyeon looked up from his poorly brewed cup of coffee, tasting more like hot water than coffee, courtesy of Chanyeol. There were two people in their twelve member group who could brew good coffee; Minseok and Kyungsoo. Minseok was currently in China with the rest of his subgroup, leaving only K-members in the dorm. While it was spacier and slightly more silent when half of their members were away, Junmyeon still missed them dearly.
With Minseok's absence that left only one coffee brewer amongst them; Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, the object of his affections, who currently was standing in the middle of their living room, ironing six white shirts with his mom aiding him on speakerphone. Their managers had woken them up hastily, telling them that their shirts had been delivered to their dorm instead of to their coordi noonas and there wasn't really enough time to get them over there and to iron them in time. Whereas wearing wrinkly shirts was an option, Kyungsoo had voulenteered to iron them.
Kyungsoo's black hair was sticking in all directions; the back of his head looking like a nest. He was still dressed in his sleepwear, a loose t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Pillow creases still adorning his left cheek. Junmyeon could hear his soft hums of agreement to whatever his mom was saying. His thick bottom lip was caught between his teeth like it always was when Kyungsoo was deeply concentrated, focusing on the task in front of him.
Junmyeon's heart swelled with pride as he watched in deep fascination how Kyungsoo carefully pressed the hot iron against the back of a white shirt. Kyungsoo's lips shaped around words and Junmyeon guessed that he was counting. The words shaped on his lips seemed like numbers, but as he couldn't read Kyungsoo's lips properly, he couldn't be sure. Five shirts were hanging on their respective coat hangers, pressed to crispness, name labeled on the wood of the coat hangers so that the sizes wouldn't be messed up.
“Kids, come get your shirts!” A booming voice belonging to a sleepy looking Chanyeol who merged from the bathroom he and Baekhyun had been occupying for the past hour rung throughout the dorm. His moist hair was sticking out everywhere. His auburn hair was still dripping, droplets of water trailing down his cheek, wiping away the layer of BB-cream in their paths.
Chanyeol practically stomped over to where Kyungsoo had hung up the finished shirts, the sound of his footsteps sounding like a hoard of wild buffaloes. As Chanyeol reached out to check the nametag on a hanger, the air was filled with a strangled sound, sounding almost like a little animal getting hit by a car. Kyungsoo suddenly appeared between Chanyeol and the shirts, using his tiny body as a shield, wielding the hot iron as a sword.
“If you touch those shirts with your dirty fingers then God help me, Park Chanyeol I will iron your panties to your skin,” Kyungsoo said silkily, eyes crinkling evilly as he shortened the distance between the fuming hot iron and Chanyeol's crotch. Chanyeol let out a high pitched whimper and all but jumped over to the kitchen table to hide behind Junmyeon.
“They're briefs, not panties!” Chanyeol argued feebly from behind Junmyeon's shoulder, ducking with a yelp when Kyungsoo took a few steps towards them, iron still in hand. Kyungsoo cackled as he walked back to iron the last shirt. Chanyeol's hands disappeared from his shoulders and Junmyeon relaxed, the fear of Chanyeol breaking his shoulders vanished. Until Chanyeol slid into the seat next to him minutes later, clutching a bowl of cereal.
“I swear hyung, they are briefs. I don't use panties,” there was a slight desperation in Chanyeol's voice, Junmyeon noticed idly, more occupied watching Kyungsoo smoothing out the hem of the last shirt. It seemed as Chanyeol needed him to believe that he would never use panties. Junmyeon arched an eyebrow, offering Chanyeol a glance. Junmyeon hid his grin by biting on the cup, diverting his gaze from the pure frustration on Chanyeol's face. Chanyeol continued rambling, but Junmyeon, being a bad listener and leader for once, tuned him out when Kyungsoo looked over to them, their gazes locking.
That moment, everything froze. The annoying smacking of Chanyeol's lips was completely silenced because nothing mattered, except for Kyungsoo's beautiful eyes that was looking straight into his. Junmyeon's intestines felt as if they were transformed into dozens of tiny hummingbirds, fluttering around in his chest. Blood rushed through his veins like bullet trains. His throat constricted around air and he felt light headed, as if his lungs couldn't supply him with the right amount of oxygen. To Junmyeon, it was one of the best feelings in the world.
Junmyeon felt like crying when Kyungsoo broke their magical connection. Sehun had errupted from the castle of sheets he had built on one of their sofas and was now clinging to Kyungsoo, arms wrapped around Kyungsoo's softly tapered waist. Sehun let out a low, pleased sound as he rubbed his face against Kyungsoo's neck, tightening the hold he had on Kyungsoo.
Sehun was always affectionate in the mornings, usually towards Kyungsoo, and while it was really cute to see Sehun sport a different expression than indifference, Junmyeon could not stop the jealousy from coiling in his chest. Jealousy that felt like a snake, swallowing the lovely hummingbirds fluttering in Junmyeon's chest, leaving him with an empty, dull feeling spreading through his body. Dark thoughts entered Junmyeon's mind, unfair thoughts.
However these thoughts about running over and tearing Sehun away from Kyungsoo quickly vanished when a slightly heavy weight settled on his shoulders. For a brief second Junmyeon's brain thought it was Kyungsoo, but the smell filling Junmyeon's nostrils was coconut instead of sweet lime, which meant Jongin. His hands pried Junmyeon's smaller ones away from the cup he had been clencing. Junmyeon relaxed slightly as Jongin started massaging the joints in his fingers that had gone numb.
“Stop being so jealous, hyung,” Jongin murmured, warm breath wafting over his neck and collarbones from where Jongin's face halfway was pressing into his shoulder. Jongin's voice was rough from sleep, eyes probably slightly swollen as they always were. Junmyeon didn't need to see it to imagine it, made easy from years of experience.
Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but Jongin was quicker. “It's so easy to read your face, don't even try to deny it hyung.”
He settled for huffing instead, to which Jongin chuckled slightly, nuzzling further against Junmyeon's body.
It wasn't until later, when they were all dressed in thick winter coats on their way out of their dorm, that Junmyeon managed to get a few seconds alone with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was arguing with one of his scarves that was stuck in the zipper of his jacket, grumbling as he tugged feverisly on the red fabric. Junmyeon walked over soundlessly with a smile on his face.
“Here,” he said softly as he grabbed the zipper, pulling it carefully down at the same time as he dragged the scarf upwards. The scarf loosened from the zipper. Junmyeon wrapped it tighter around Kyungsoo's pale neck, smiling what he hoped was in a warm matter as he zipped up the jacket, avoiding the scarf.
They stood in silence for a couple of seconds, simply looking at each other.
“Thank you for your hard work with the shirts, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon began, nervously grabbing Kyungsoo's wrist to entwine their fingers. Kyungsoo let him. His mouth was hidden under the thick scarf, his big eyes and nose visible. His palm was hot against Junmyeon's. Using his free hand, he carefully pushed Kyungsoo's bangs out of his eyes, letting the arm fall down to Kyungsoo's shoulder, squeezing. “I really appreciate it.”
Kyungsoo's eyes softened, hand squeezing Junmyeon's, and this was it! Finally Junmyeon had Kyungsoo's attention. He had been so busy ironing shirts and making food for Jongin and Sehun that even though Junmyeon had tried to talk to him several times that morning, he hadn't succeeded. Now, however, he had Kyungsoo's attention, solely on himself and it felt good. Junmyeon's heart was hammering wildly and he thanked every deity for his thick winter clothes. There was no way Kyungsoo could hear it run wild inside his ribcage.
“Kyungsoo, I-”
The door slammed open and Jongin bursted into the hallway, almost tripping over a pair of shoes in the process. A sly smirk shaped out on Jongin's mouth. His eyes were shining with mirth and his face gleamed of mischief.
“Come on lovebirds. We're on a tight schedule,” Jongin snickered, grabbing their arms and dragged them out. Junmyeon felt his cheeks flush at Jongin's words, eyes immediately darting to the ground. Jongin continued to ramble on about impossible hyungs and how they were all waiting for them in the car.
At some point, Jongin let go of their jackets and let them trail a few steps behind him as they walked down the four set of stairs. Junmyeon's heart jumped when Kyungsoo squeezed his hand. Kyungsoo was still holding his hand. His face probably looked like a beet, but he risked it and looked up at Kyungsoo.
“Yeah we are on a tight schedule now, but when he's fucking Yixing hyung in a broom closet at KBS fifteen minutes before we're going on stage, it's ok,” Kyungsoo said snidely. His voice was low, a whisper, but Junmyeon could hear him clearly. They laughed, and when Jongin turned to look at them in confusion, it only made them laugh harder.
It was late, the sun had set and the clock on the dashboard in the car was ticking close to midnight when they returned back to the dorm. Their van that was usually bursting with singing and yelling members, was now unusually silent. Junmyeon rode shotgun for once, not having to play rock, paper, scissors with Baekhyun or Sehun for the spot like he usually had to. The argument that he was the leader was never enough for the rebellious kids.
Junmyeon peeked over his shoulders to see Baekhyun and Jongin asleep in the two seats in the middle. Baekhyun mostly buried in his thick winter jacket, face barely visible due to the hood over his head. Jongin had fallen asleep with his earbuds in both ears, feet spasming occasionally. Behind them, Sehun, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol sat. Chanyeol was the only of them that was still awake, or so it looked to Junmyeon. The bags under his eyes were made even more visible due to the pale light of his cellphone.
The middle spot was occupied by Kyungsoo, whose head was resting on Sehun's shoulder. He was slightly curled in on himself, shoes kicked off, knees pressed to his chest. Kyungsoo's arms was wrapped around his bent knees, holding them there. Just as Junmyeon's gaze slid over onto Sehun's face, he opened his eyes, looking straight at Junmyeon. Sehun smiled a dazed, tired smile at him before he closed his eyes again. A slight movement around Kyungsoo's side caught Junmyeon's interest. Sehun's hand was wrapped around Kyungsoo's waist; his long fingers sinking into the plushness of Kyungsoo's jacket as he pulled him closer.
Junmyeon's heart plummeted in his chest when Kyungsoo curled further into Sehun's hold. Junmyeon turned back, eyes on the road. All of a sudden he felt exhausted, sleepy. Tilting his head to the side, up against the window, Junmyeon closed his eyes, pretending that they were stinging because he was tired, not because tears were welling up in his eyes.
When Junmyeon opened up his eyes, he wasn't staring out of the window in their van; he was staring up at the white painted ceiling in their dorm. Abruptly, he sat up, the blanket he was wrapped up in falling down his torso.
“Mmhwhat,” Junmyeon said, voice heavy from sleep.
“Hyung, you're awake!” The sofa threatened to do a cartwheel as Chanyeol dived into it, barely missing Junmyeon's head with his skinny knees. “I had to carry you from the car because you were asleep and manager hyung didn't have the heart to wake you up because you were whimpering in your sleep so Kyungsoo said that-.”
“Kyungsoo!” Junmyeon almost screamed, practically climbing onto Chanyeol's back. The terrified expression on Chanyeol's face should've been enough to make a lamp blink in the back of Junmyeon's mind. He clutched at Chanyeol's night shirt with trembling hands.
“Hey Godzilla, stop terrifying the princess,” A hand fisted the back of his shirt, pulling him off of Chanyeol and onto his back on the floor, knocking the air out of his lungs in the process. Baekhyun climbed into the sofa, sitting down in Junmyeon's previous place. Chanyeol immediately faceplanted into Baekhyun's lap, one of Baekhyun's hands started petting the black mess that was Chanyeol's hair.
Coughing, Junmyeon sat up, glaring accusingly at Baekhyun while rubbing the small of his back. Baekhyun beamed innocently at him while scratching Chanyeol's scalp, at which Chanyeol made some weird, high pitched (or as high pitched as Chanyeol could be anyways) sounds in the back of his throat while his left leg was spasming occasionally. Almost like an overgrown puppy.
“Where is Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon tried going for the casual tone, but Baekhyun rolled his eyes. So much for that.
“Honestly hyung, you have to stop being so obsessed with Kyungsoo. It makes you look desperate and it's not attractive at all,” Baekhyun chided, eyes squinting. Chanyeol hummed his agreement into Baekhyun's thigh.
“I don't care,” Junmyeon snapped, his usual patience thin and worn. The snake of jealousy was coiling around his heart again, whispering painful things as it continued to kill off the hummingbirds. There was anger bubbling in his chest, as he looked from Baekhyun to Chanyeol and back. The pair remained silent and Junmyeon huffed, walking past them, heading for Kyungsoo and Jongin's room.
Inside the room he found Jongin, lying curled up in his bed, watching anime on his phone. Jongin didn't even look up from it as he spoke. “He's not here, hyung. Kyungsoo is showering with Sehun-ah,”
When Jongin finally looked up, Junmyeon was nowhere to be seen.
Inside his own room, he slammed the door shut and more or less started tearing his suit pants and waistcoat off of his body. Normally he would put them up on their respective hangers to minimize wrinkles in the fabric, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. The rest of his outfit, costume if you will, that transformed him from Junmyeon to Suho went into a heap on the floor as well. When he was left in nothing but his boxers, Junmyeon picked his pajama bottoms up from his bed, pulling them on as well as a huge t-shirt, probably misplaced by one of their dorm aunts because Junmyeon didn't have any X-es in his clothes.
Junmyeon turned off the light and crawled onto his bed, curling into a ball under his thick blankets. Baekhyun was right, in a way, but Junmyeon would never admit it in front of him. It was just that Junmyeon never had felt like this before. He felt like he was a character in a drama, even as cheesy as it sounded, but he couldn't help it. Junmyeon had fallen in love with Kyungsoo. Fallen in love with Kyungsoo's short temperament, his softness, kindness and snarkiness. Junmyeon had fallen in love with how Kyungsoo wanted to take care of everyone, despite being one of the youngest. Although he had taken on such a parental role in their group, some days it was evident that he was one of the youngest, especially when he played games with Sehun and Jongin, or watched anime with Zitao.
He had fallen in love with all the different Kyungsoos. That was what made it so hard to see people touching him, hugging him, being affectionate with him because Junmyeon wanted Kyungsoo to be his. Only his and no one elses, which was really difficult when you belonged to a group of twelve boys who used each other for emotional and physical support.
From what he understood from the other members, Junmyeon had been quite easy to read when it came to his feelings for Kyungsoo, thus he assumed that the boy in question knew that Junmyeon liked him. Some days it seemed like Kyungsoo liked him back, that Kyungsoo wanted to be Junmyeon's. On those days, Kyungsoo would sit next to him, hold his hand, and smile like Junmyeon was the only person that mattered. On other days, like today, he would shower with Sehun, cuddle with Baekhyun and Chanyeol and sleep in Jongin's bed.
It hurt a lot. Junmyeon felt confused and his feelings was in a turmoil that seemed neverending. For the second time that day, he felt his eyes sting, tears building up, but under the blanket in the dark room, nobody could se Junmyeon cry. Silent sobs raked through Junmyeon's body until it became too much, and he succumbed to the exhaustion coiling in his limbs.
Junmyeon was stirred back into consciousness when something cold and slightly wet crawled into his bed, settling in next to him. Carefully, Junmyeon stretched out his hand until his palm connected with soft fabric. A hand connected with his cheek, petting it softly. Junmyeon winced as he could feel the sticky residue of the tears he had cried earlier cling to the palm of the person's hand. The smell of lime filled Junmyeon's senses.
“Kim Junmyeon, you're an idiot,” Kyungsoo huffed, pulling the blankets off of their heads and exposing their eyes to the bright light of Junmyeon's night lamp. Kyungsoo must have turned it on when he entered the room. Junmyeon's heart swelled as he took in Kyungsoo's ruffled state. Hair messy and slightly moist from the shower he had taken earlier, his soft body hidden under an oversized t-shirt, even larger that Junmyeon's own. Kyungsoo looked like a little boy.
Despite Kyungsoo calling him an idiot, all Junmyeon could do was smile.
“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon tried, but Kyungsoo slammed his head with a pillow to make him shut up.
“You're so pathetic. Hiding in here, crying, when you're supposed to be an adult.”
“You were showering with Sehun!” Junmyeon said accusingly, heaviness settling back into his chest. Kyungsoo looked crestfallen, eyes glaring at Junmyeon in disbelief.
“You shower with Zitao!” Kyungsoo informed him. Junmyeon faltered. “You shower with Jongin, you shower with Jongdae, heck you even shower with Yifan hyung, but do you see me curl up in my bed and cry?”
If Junmyeon's heart could, it probably would've pounded out of his chest. His mouth felt dry and his body absolutely numb as Kyungsoo's words rung through his head like church bells on a sunday. Junmyeon felt like a goldfish gasping for air.
“W-why would you cry just because I shower with Yifan hyung,” Junmyeon managed after a while, looking dumbly at Kyungsoo who looked like he was this close to rip Junmyeon's lungs out of his chest.
“I like you too, you dense moron,” Kyungsoo all but growled before he closed the distance between their faces and kissed him. It wasn't sweet, strawberry flavored as Junmyeon imagined it would be. Kyungsoo's teeth was nipping on his bottom lip, tongue sliding into his mouth as Junmyeon gasped in surprise. Kyungsoo's soft hands were gripping at the fine hair at the base of Junmyeon's skull, tugging. Junmyeon grabbed the first part of Kyungsoo he could find, which turned out to be his thighs, clinging on to them as Kyungsoo ravished Junmyeon's mouth.
A second, a minute, a week, an eternity later, Kyungsoo pulled away. His eyes were softly gazing into Junmyeon's. The warm fondness in them looked like a stark contrast to his red lips, swollen from the aggressive kisses.
“Y-you like me too?” Junmyeon whispered, bringing a hand up to press the pads of his fingers against his own lips. For the third time that day, tears were welling up into Junmyeon's eyes. Happiness pumping through his veins, and the hummingbirds were back. Junmyeon's eyes widened as Kyungsoo nodded slowly.
“Are you sure?” Junmyeon asked, voice small as his vision became blurry. Almost blindly, he grabbed Kyungsoo's arms, following the warm skin downwards until he could link his fingers with Kyungsoo's own.
“Pinky swear?”
Another pillow slammed into Junmyeon's face.
a/n if anyone knew where I could look for a beta, that would be great ;;
Pairing: Junmyeon/Kyungsoo. Side Baekhyun/Chanyeol and Jongin/Yixing if you squint.
Rating: PG-13 for cursing and mentions of sex.
Word Count: 3468 words.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warnings: Cursing, Junmyeon being pathetic. Unbetaed because I can't keep a beta.
Summary: Junmyeon has an embarrassing crush on Kyungsoo and it seems like the entire dorm knows, save for Kyungsoo himself.
A/N: Written for creamismine as a part of capsandpizzas first exchange. I hope you liked it ^^ Crossposted to AO3 and AFF
It was wrong, Junmyeon knew, to have a favorite member. Picking one out of eleven boys as his favorite, but he couldn't help it. He still loved all the members like they were his family, but his favorite, he loved in a different way.
Junmyeon looked up from his poorly brewed cup of coffee, tasting more like hot water than coffee, courtesy of Chanyeol. There were two people in their twelve member group who could brew good coffee; Minseok and Kyungsoo. Minseok was currently in China with the rest of his subgroup, leaving only K-members in the dorm. While it was spacier and slightly more silent when half of their members were away, Junmyeon still missed them dearly.
With Minseok's absence that left only one coffee brewer amongst them; Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, the object of his affections, who currently was standing in the middle of their living room, ironing six white shirts with his mom aiding him on speakerphone. Their managers had woken them up hastily, telling them that their shirts had been delivered to their dorm instead of to their coordi noonas and there wasn't really enough time to get them over there and to iron them in time. Whereas wearing wrinkly shirts was an option, Kyungsoo had voulenteered to iron them.
Kyungsoo's black hair was sticking in all directions; the back of his head looking like a nest. He was still dressed in his sleepwear, a loose t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Pillow creases still adorning his left cheek. Junmyeon could hear his soft hums of agreement to whatever his mom was saying. His thick bottom lip was caught between his teeth like it always was when Kyungsoo was deeply concentrated, focusing on the task in front of him.
Junmyeon's heart swelled with pride as he watched in deep fascination how Kyungsoo carefully pressed the hot iron against the back of a white shirt. Kyungsoo's lips shaped around words and Junmyeon guessed that he was counting. The words shaped on his lips seemed like numbers, but as he couldn't read Kyungsoo's lips properly, he couldn't be sure. Five shirts were hanging on their respective coat hangers, pressed to crispness, name labeled on the wood of the coat hangers so that the sizes wouldn't be messed up.
“Kids, come get your shirts!” A booming voice belonging to a sleepy looking Chanyeol who merged from the bathroom he and Baekhyun had been occupying for the past hour rung throughout the dorm. His moist hair was sticking out everywhere. His auburn hair was still dripping, droplets of water trailing down his cheek, wiping away the layer of BB-cream in their paths.
Chanyeol practically stomped over to where Kyungsoo had hung up the finished shirts, the sound of his footsteps sounding like a hoard of wild buffaloes. As Chanyeol reached out to check the nametag on a hanger, the air was filled with a strangled sound, sounding almost like a little animal getting hit by a car. Kyungsoo suddenly appeared between Chanyeol and the shirts, using his tiny body as a shield, wielding the hot iron as a sword.
“If you touch those shirts with your dirty fingers then God help me, Park Chanyeol I will iron your panties to your skin,” Kyungsoo said silkily, eyes crinkling evilly as he shortened the distance between the fuming hot iron and Chanyeol's crotch. Chanyeol let out a high pitched whimper and all but jumped over to the kitchen table to hide behind Junmyeon.
“They're briefs, not panties!” Chanyeol argued feebly from behind Junmyeon's shoulder, ducking with a yelp when Kyungsoo took a few steps towards them, iron still in hand. Kyungsoo cackled as he walked back to iron the last shirt. Chanyeol's hands disappeared from his shoulders and Junmyeon relaxed, the fear of Chanyeol breaking his shoulders vanished. Until Chanyeol slid into the seat next to him minutes later, clutching a bowl of cereal.
“I swear hyung, they are briefs. I don't use panties,” there was a slight desperation in Chanyeol's voice, Junmyeon noticed idly, more occupied watching Kyungsoo smoothing out the hem of the last shirt. It seemed as Chanyeol needed him to believe that he would never use panties. Junmyeon arched an eyebrow, offering Chanyeol a glance. Junmyeon hid his grin by biting on the cup, diverting his gaze from the pure frustration on Chanyeol's face. Chanyeol continued rambling, but Junmyeon, being a bad listener and leader for once, tuned him out when Kyungsoo looked over to them, their gazes locking.
That moment, everything froze. The annoying smacking of Chanyeol's lips was completely silenced because nothing mattered, except for Kyungsoo's beautiful eyes that was looking straight into his. Junmyeon's intestines felt as if they were transformed into dozens of tiny hummingbirds, fluttering around in his chest. Blood rushed through his veins like bullet trains. His throat constricted around air and he felt light headed, as if his lungs couldn't supply him with the right amount of oxygen. To Junmyeon, it was one of the best feelings in the world.
Junmyeon felt like crying when Kyungsoo broke their magical connection. Sehun had errupted from the castle of sheets he had built on one of their sofas and was now clinging to Kyungsoo, arms wrapped around Kyungsoo's softly tapered waist. Sehun let out a low, pleased sound as he rubbed his face against Kyungsoo's neck, tightening the hold he had on Kyungsoo.
Sehun was always affectionate in the mornings, usually towards Kyungsoo, and while it was really cute to see Sehun sport a different expression than indifference, Junmyeon could not stop the jealousy from coiling in his chest. Jealousy that felt like a snake, swallowing the lovely hummingbirds fluttering in Junmyeon's chest, leaving him with an empty, dull feeling spreading through his body. Dark thoughts entered Junmyeon's mind, unfair thoughts.
However these thoughts about running over and tearing Sehun away from Kyungsoo quickly vanished when a slightly heavy weight settled on his shoulders. For a brief second Junmyeon's brain thought it was Kyungsoo, but the smell filling Junmyeon's nostrils was coconut instead of sweet lime, which meant Jongin. His hands pried Junmyeon's smaller ones away from the cup he had been clencing. Junmyeon relaxed slightly as Jongin started massaging the joints in his fingers that had gone numb.
“Stop being so jealous, hyung,” Jongin murmured, warm breath wafting over his neck and collarbones from where Jongin's face halfway was pressing into his shoulder. Jongin's voice was rough from sleep, eyes probably slightly swollen as they always were. Junmyeon didn't need to see it to imagine it, made easy from years of experience.
Junmyeon opened his mouth to argue, but Jongin was quicker. “It's so easy to read your face, don't even try to deny it hyung.”
He settled for huffing instead, to which Jongin chuckled slightly, nuzzling further against Junmyeon's body.
It wasn't until later, when they were all dressed in thick winter coats on their way out of their dorm, that Junmyeon managed to get a few seconds alone with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was arguing with one of his scarves that was stuck in the zipper of his jacket, grumbling as he tugged feverisly on the red fabric. Junmyeon walked over soundlessly with a smile on his face.
“Here,” he said softly as he grabbed the zipper, pulling it carefully down at the same time as he dragged the scarf upwards. The scarf loosened from the zipper. Junmyeon wrapped it tighter around Kyungsoo's pale neck, smiling what he hoped was in a warm matter as he zipped up the jacket, avoiding the scarf.
They stood in silence for a couple of seconds, simply looking at each other.
“Thank you for your hard work with the shirts, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon began, nervously grabbing Kyungsoo's wrist to entwine their fingers. Kyungsoo let him. His mouth was hidden under the thick scarf, his big eyes and nose visible. His palm was hot against Junmyeon's. Using his free hand, he carefully pushed Kyungsoo's bangs out of his eyes, letting the arm fall down to Kyungsoo's shoulder, squeezing. “I really appreciate it.”
Kyungsoo's eyes softened, hand squeezing Junmyeon's, and this was it! Finally Junmyeon had Kyungsoo's attention. He had been so busy ironing shirts and making food for Jongin and Sehun that even though Junmyeon had tried to talk to him several times that morning, he hadn't succeeded. Now, however, he had Kyungsoo's attention, solely on himself and it felt good. Junmyeon's heart was hammering wildly and he thanked every deity for his thick winter clothes. There was no way Kyungsoo could hear it run wild inside his ribcage.
“Kyungsoo, I-”
The door slammed open and Jongin bursted into the hallway, almost tripping over a pair of shoes in the process. A sly smirk shaped out on Jongin's mouth. His eyes were shining with mirth and his face gleamed of mischief.
“Come on lovebirds. We're on a tight schedule,” Jongin snickered, grabbing their arms and dragged them out. Junmyeon felt his cheeks flush at Jongin's words, eyes immediately darting to the ground. Jongin continued to ramble on about impossible hyungs and how they were all waiting for them in the car.
At some point, Jongin let go of their jackets and let them trail a few steps behind him as they walked down the four set of stairs. Junmyeon's heart jumped when Kyungsoo squeezed his hand. Kyungsoo was still holding his hand. His face probably looked like a beet, but he risked it and looked up at Kyungsoo.
“Yeah we are on a tight schedule now, but when he's fucking Yixing hyung in a broom closet at KBS fifteen minutes before we're going on stage, it's ok,” Kyungsoo said snidely. His voice was low, a whisper, but Junmyeon could hear him clearly. They laughed, and when Jongin turned to look at them in confusion, it only made them laugh harder.
It was late, the sun had set and the clock on the dashboard in the car was ticking close to midnight when they returned back to the dorm. Their van that was usually bursting with singing and yelling members, was now unusually silent. Junmyeon rode shotgun for once, not having to play rock, paper, scissors with Baekhyun or Sehun for the spot like he usually had to. The argument that he was the leader was never enough for the rebellious kids.
Junmyeon peeked over his shoulders to see Baekhyun and Jongin asleep in the two seats in the middle. Baekhyun mostly buried in his thick winter jacket, face barely visible due to the hood over his head. Jongin had fallen asleep with his earbuds in both ears, feet spasming occasionally. Behind them, Sehun, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol sat. Chanyeol was the only of them that was still awake, or so it looked to Junmyeon. The bags under his eyes were made even more visible due to the pale light of his cellphone.
The middle spot was occupied by Kyungsoo, whose head was resting on Sehun's shoulder. He was slightly curled in on himself, shoes kicked off, knees pressed to his chest. Kyungsoo's arms was wrapped around his bent knees, holding them there. Just as Junmyeon's gaze slid over onto Sehun's face, he opened his eyes, looking straight at Junmyeon. Sehun smiled a dazed, tired smile at him before he closed his eyes again. A slight movement around Kyungsoo's side caught Junmyeon's interest. Sehun's hand was wrapped around Kyungsoo's waist; his long fingers sinking into the plushness of Kyungsoo's jacket as he pulled him closer.
Junmyeon's heart plummeted in his chest when Kyungsoo curled further into Sehun's hold. Junmyeon turned back, eyes on the road. All of a sudden he felt exhausted, sleepy. Tilting his head to the side, up against the window, Junmyeon closed his eyes, pretending that they were stinging because he was tired, not because tears were welling up in his eyes.
When Junmyeon opened up his eyes, he wasn't staring out of the window in their van; he was staring up at the white painted ceiling in their dorm. Abruptly, he sat up, the blanket he was wrapped up in falling down his torso.
“Mmhwhat,” Junmyeon said, voice heavy from sleep.
“Hyung, you're awake!” The sofa threatened to do a cartwheel as Chanyeol dived into it, barely missing Junmyeon's head with his skinny knees. “I had to carry you from the car because you were asleep and manager hyung didn't have the heart to wake you up because you were whimpering in your sleep so Kyungsoo said that-.”
“Kyungsoo!” Junmyeon almost screamed, practically climbing onto Chanyeol's back. The terrified expression on Chanyeol's face should've been enough to make a lamp blink in the back of Junmyeon's mind. He clutched at Chanyeol's night shirt with trembling hands.
“Hey Godzilla, stop terrifying the princess,” A hand fisted the back of his shirt, pulling him off of Chanyeol and onto his back on the floor, knocking the air out of his lungs in the process. Baekhyun climbed into the sofa, sitting down in Junmyeon's previous place. Chanyeol immediately faceplanted into Baekhyun's lap, one of Baekhyun's hands started petting the black mess that was Chanyeol's hair.
Coughing, Junmyeon sat up, glaring accusingly at Baekhyun while rubbing the small of his back. Baekhyun beamed innocently at him while scratching Chanyeol's scalp, at which Chanyeol made some weird, high pitched (or as high pitched as Chanyeol could be anyways) sounds in the back of his throat while his left leg was spasming occasionally. Almost like an overgrown puppy.
“Where is Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon tried going for the casual tone, but Baekhyun rolled his eyes. So much for that.
“Honestly hyung, you have to stop being so obsessed with Kyungsoo. It makes you look desperate and it's not attractive at all,” Baekhyun chided, eyes squinting. Chanyeol hummed his agreement into Baekhyun's thigh.
“I don't care,” Junmyeon snapped, his usual patience thin and worn. The snake of jealousy was coiling around his heart again, whispering painful things as it continued to kill off the hummingbirds. There was anger bubbling in his chest, as he looked from Baekhyun to Chanyeol and back. The pair remained silent and Junmyeon huffed, walking past them, heading for Kyungsoo and Jongin's room.
Inside the room he found Jongin, lying curled up in his bed, watching anime on his phone. Jongin didn't even look up from it as he spoke. “He's not here, hyung. Kyungsoo is showering with Sehun-ah,”
When Jongin finally looked up, Junmyeon was nowhere to be seen.
Inside his own room, he slammed the door shut and more or less started tearing his suit pants and waistcoat off of his body. Normally he would put them up on their respective hangers to minimize wrinkles in the fabric, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. The rest of his outfit, costume if you will, that transformed him from Junmyeon to Suho went into a heap on the floor as well. When he was left in nothing but his boxers, Junmyeon picked his pajama bottoms up from his bed, pulling them on as well as a huge t-shirt, probably misplaced by one of their dorm aunts because Junmyeon didn't have any X-es in his clothes.
Junmyeon turned off the light and crawled onto his bed, curling into a ball under his thick blankets. Baekhyun was right, in a way, but Junmyeon would never admit it in front of him. It was just that Junmyeon never had felt like this before. He felt like he was a character in a drama, even as cheesy as it sounded, but he couldn't help it. Junmyeon had fallen in love with Kyungsoo. Fallen in love with Kyungsoo's short temperament, his softness, kindness and snarkiness. Junmyeon had fallen in love with how Kyungsoo wanted to take care of everyone, despite being one of the youngest. Although he had taken on such a parental role in their group, some days it was evident that he was one of the youngest, especially when he played games with Sehun and Jongin, or watched anime with Zitao.
He had fallen in love with all the different Kyungsoos. That was what made it so hard to see people touching him, hugging him, being affectionate with him because Junmyeon wanted Kyungsoo to be his. Only his and no one elses, which was really difficult when you belonged to a group of twelve boys who used each other for emotional and physical support.
From what he understood from the other members, Junmyeon had been quite easy to read when it came to his feelings for Kyungsoo, thus he assumed that the boy in question knew that Junmyeon liked him. Some days it seemed like Kyungsoo liked him back, that Kyungsoo wanted to be Junmyeon's. On those days, Kyungsoo would sit next to him, hold his hand, and smile like Junmyeon was the only person that mattered. On other days, like today, he would shower with Sehun, cuddle with Baekhyun and Chanyeol and sleep in Jongin's bed.
It hurt a lot. Junmyeon felt confused and his feelings was in a turmoil that seemed neverending. For the second time that day, he felt his eyes sting, tears building up, but under the blanket in the dark room, nobody could se Junmyeon cry. Silent sobs raked through Junmyeon's body until it became too much, and he succumbed to the exhaustion coiling in his limbs.
Junmyeon was stirred back into consciousness when something cold and slightly wet crawled into his bed, settling in next to him. Carefully, Junmyeon stretched out his hand until his palm connected with soft fabric. A hand connected with his cheek, petting it softly. Junmyeon winced as he could feel the sticky residue of the tears he had cried earlier cling to the palm of the person's hand. The smell of lime filled Junmyeon's senses.
“Kim Junmyeon, you're an idiot,” Kyungsoo huffed, pulling the blankets off of their heads and exposing their eyes to the bright light of Junmyeon's night lamp. Kyungsoo must have turned it on when he entered the room. Junmyeon's heart swelled as he took in Kyungsoo's ruffled state. Hair messy and slightly moist from the shower he had taken earlier, his soft body hidden under an oversized t-shirt, even larger that Junmyeon's own. Kyungsoo looked like a little boy.
Despite Kyungsoo calling him an idiot, all Junmyeon could do was smile.
“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon tried, but Kyungsoo slammed his head with a pillow to make him shut up.
“You're so pathetic. Hiding in here, crying, when you're supposed to be an adult.”
“You were showering with Sehun!” Junmyeon said accusingly, heaviness settling back into his chest. Kyungsoo looked crestfallen, eyes glaring at Junmyeon in disbelief.
“You shower with Zitao!” Kyungsoo informed him. Junmyeon faltered. “You shower with Jongin, you shower with Jongdae, heck you even shower with Yifan hyung, but do you see me curl up in my bed and cry?”
If Junmyeon's heart could, it probably would've pounded out of his chest. His mouth felt dry and his body absolutely numb as Kyungsoo's words rung through his head like church bells on a sunday. Junmyeon felt like a goldfish gasping for air.
“W-why would you cry just because I shower with Yifan hyung,” Junmyeon managed after a while, looking dumbly at Kyungsoo who looked like he was this close to rip Junmyeon's lungs out of his chest.
“I like you too, you dense moron,” Kyungsoo all but growled before he closed the distance between their faces and kissed him. It wasn't sweet, strawberry flavored as Junmyeon imagined it would be. Kyungsoo's teeth was nipping on his bottom lip, tongue sliding into his mouth as Junmyeon gasped in surprise. Kyungsoo's soft hands were gripping at the fine hair at the base of Junmyeon's skull, tugging. Junmyeon grabbed the first part of Kyungsoo he could find, which turned out to be his thighs, clinging on to them as Kyungsoo ravished Junmyeon's mouth.
A second, a minute, a week, an eternity later, Kyungsoo pulled away. His eyes were softly gazing into Junmyeon's. The warm fondness in them looked like a stark contrast to his red lips, swollen from the aggressive kisses.
“Y-you like me too?” Junmyeon whispered, bringing a hand up to press the pads of his fingers against his own lips. For the third time that day, tears were welling up into Junmyeon's eyes. Happiness pumping through his veins, and the hummingbirds were back. Junmyeon's eyes widened as Kyungsoo nodded slowly.
“Are you sure?” Junmyeon asked, voice small as his vision became blurry. Almost blindly, he grabbed Kyungsoo's arms, following the warm skin downwards until he could link his fingers with Kyungsoo's own.
“Pinky swear?”
Another pillow slammed into Junmyeon's face.
a/n if anyone knew where I could look for a beta, that would be great ;;